You may have noticed that narcissists talk more than they listen, dominating most conversations.

You may notice their eyes glaze over when you speak, as if they’re searching for more wisdom, rather than letting your words resonate.

At best, narcissists may offer vague answers, suggesting they haven’t been listening. At worst, they may ignore you entirely.

You may also notice that narcissists don’t absorb what you’re saying. Despite a lengthy and detailed conversation, they may not even remember having it, demonstrating a lack of interest.

Why Don’t Narcissists Listen? Here’s a summary of the reasons why narcissists don’t listen to others…

Delusions Of Superiority

Narcissists delude themselves into believing they’re superior. Therefore, what they say is of utmost importance to humanity. Everyone should hold on to their words.

On the other hand, you’re inferior, and your words are worthless. So, a narcissist doesn’t waste their energy listening to you, because there’s no point in it.

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This may sound crazy, but that’s how narcissists think. Narcissists have low self-esteem, so they constantly have to prove themselves. In their eyes, delivering long monologues demonstrates their superiority.

Speaking is positive, while listening is negative. Many narcissists see speaking as a sign of dominance. Therefore, they are more willing to talk than to listen. Because, for narcissists, demonstrating dominance is vital to their psychological makeup.

Narcissistic Supply

You may notice that the closer you are to narcissists, the less they listen. So, if you’re in a romantic relationship or related to them, they’re likely to listen to you less than they would to a stranger. This is due to “narcissistic supply.” Narcissistic supply is the attention and appreciation narcissists need; without it, they collapse psychologically. But narcissists prefer to receive supply from someone new, because gaining someone else’s trust is more challenging and therefore more rewarding, giving them more supply.

Therefore, narcissists try less with people they know. Because gaining their trust isn’t a problem, and there’s less supply to be had, they don’t even pretend to listen. Why do they do that?

So you might find that the narcissist dismisses something you say. Then, weeks later, a stranger says the same thing. The narcissist hangs on every word, praising their own genius, which can be annoying and frustrating.

Sense Of Entitlement

Narcissists believe they deserve more than others. This has nothing to do with merit.

Narcissists believe they deserve it by birthright. The universe owes them their superiority, even if they haven’t achieved anything significant.

If a narcissist loves to talk, which most do, they feel entitled to dominate conversations. Because they are superior. And people should be grateful to them for sharing their intellectual superiority.

So, narcissists don’t worry about taking over the conversation all the time, denying others the opportunity to speak. Because they have the right to dominate conversations.

Jealousy

Although they may appear to be adults, most narcissists have the emotional maturity of children. It’s amazing how little things can trigger intense jealousy.

A narcissist may become jealous if you know something better than they do. If you’re a better communicator. Or if you live a more successful life.

To remedy this, a narcissist may refuse to ask you questions about what you’re doing and instead redirect the subject to themselves. They fear that you’re doing too well, which will only make them jealous. So, instead, they bombard you with trivial stories to prevent you from outdoing them.

You may be excited about your recent book deal. But instead of asking how you are, the narcissist talks about his new shoes. Because they want to shut you up, rather than give you a chance to share your success.

Empathy Deficit

Most narcissists enjoy talking about their favorite topic—themselves. Because they have poor empathy, they don’t change the subject. Imagine how boring it is to listen to their autobiography.

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Instead, the narcissist enjoys himself. He talks to you for hours. He entertains you with stories of his youth. Without the slightest concern that you might find this boring.

Narcissists find conversation interesting and energizing. They assume you enjoy listening, too.

Your needs, or the reality of the situation, don’t cross their mind. That’s why they talk for hours without feeling bad. Their lack of empathy means they don’t care about their audience.

Devaluation

Narcissists typically devalue their partner as soon as the relationship begins. Here, they use subtle, and even more obvious, belittling phrases to assert their control.

The goal of devaluation is to boost their morale by bringing you down. Ignoring you is one of their devaluation tools because it subtly tells you that you’re less important than them. They don’t even honor you with an answer. This, if you think about it, shows great disrespect.

So you may find that your narcissistic partner ignores you when you ask a question, even though they clearly heard you. Just to let you know where you stand.

Conclusion

Narcissists don’t listen for many reasons. But they have no problem listening when needed. If their boss or someone important speaks, they listen. If a new flame speaks intensely, they listen.

Narcissists don’t listen when there’s no point in doing so, which demonstrates their selfish nature.

Conversations are a joy in life, but only when they’re managed properly, with each person given a fair chance to speak.

But narcissists spoil this dynamic by their unwillingness to listen. While they may think this shows their superiority, they’re missing out on one of life’s gifts. No one wants a conversation with a boring monologue.

People inevitably avoid narcissists who talk too much. They miss out on sharing other people’s thoughts, experiences, and opinions. But to themselves, they don’t realize what they’re missing.