A narcissistic family, to you, is a group of people you hope to get along with.

Is a big deal, isn’t it?

So what happens when you discover narcissism in your partner, and you have no one to turn to?

You should be able to speak up, but you’re met with silence and a wave of overwhelming hatred.

But why is that? Why can’t they hear you? Why can’t they see it themselves?

I get it.

Life Story

It’s worked for them all these years, hasn’t it?

The narcissist is part of a family dynamic where literally no one talks about the elephant in the room.

I’m not talking about seeing a giant gray mammal sitting on a chair, complete with tusks and a trunk.

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I’m talking about the much smaller, much weaker, and much more dangerous narcissist.

They sit in the warmth of their family as if nothing is bothering them, but then you come to see it for what it is.

You look at each family member, wondering if they’re all blind. But they’re not. They see, they hear, they feel.

You stand up and say…

You know what? Why are we all ignoring the fact that this person is a total narcissist? Why isn’t anyone talking about it?

You’ve exposed what they’ve been ignoring and avoiding for decades, maybe.

The narrative changes the moment you open your mouth and tell the truth.

You See Through The Mask—And That’s Dangerous

I know you wouldn’t stand up and announce this kind of thing without being absolutely sure. But that’s the mask, isn’t it?

The narcissist’s mask seems so convincing at first. It’s realistic. You really believe that a nice, charming person is behind it.

Why wouldn’t you believe that? They’re so good at convincing you that their lies are truths, that you don’t even have time to raise your hand and ask questions.

Related ;: 10 Secrets a Narcissist Will Never Admit to You

Then one day, you see something you don’t recognize. It’s part of their face, part of their mask.

What is it?

Ah.

And that makes sense.

You’ve been duped. When you go to tell the narcissist’s family, it’s as if you’re the problem. They don’t want to hear about it or be a part of it.

And they’re affectionately known as the troublemaker!

You Aren’t Easy To Control

Maybe this is part of your problem right now. I don’t want you to think that your inability to control yourself is a general problem, but it is a narcissist’s problem.

If you stand up and point out something that’s not right, you’ll be met with resistance.

Why did someone with such power and confidence come in with such confidence?

Why did someone with such a thirst for justice decide to enter the life of the narcissist we know?

This will bring about radical change.

The more you see them back down, the more you realize something is wrong.

But you know, you don’t have to worry about setting boundaries in your life. If you see something unfair, you want to speak up, you should.

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Just be prepared that not everyone will be as thrilled about it as you are.

Refusal To Join The Toxic Loyalty Code

Here’s one of your favorite quotes:

I’d rather stand alone and be right than join the pack and be wrong.

You’re right about that, but don’t expect anyone to join you.

Why are you doing this?

Why can’t you just leave it alone?

Why are you ruining what’s been the status quo for years?

Why are you trying to stir things up?

But you’re not, are you? You’re just trying to make people realize that the narcissist has them all under his thumb.

You want them to feel free, and you don’t understand why they’re not fighting for it.

You’re Breaking the Family Roles Defined by the Narcissist

Why aren’t you speaking up?

Are you supposed to be their mother?

I thought you were the closest to them?

Why do you let them do this around you?

It’s unfair to treat yourself this way.

They’re clearly isolating you.

Related : The 7 Desperate Moves Narcissists Make When Relationships End

I mean, what else? Family dynamics are the way they are because that’s the picture the narcissist has painted.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. People are free to be whatever they want outside of the narcissist’s grip on power.

So you come forward, and you challenge it. And you should. It’s too late.

Except no one likes your loudmouth. They want you to stop, shut up, and continue what you’ve been doing so far.

Anyway, the narcissist’s family thinks you’ve gotten worse than them.

You Witness The Abuse – And They Know

But it won’t be talked about, will it? Listen, if you’re with a narcissist, the narcissist’s family will know what you see, what you experience, what you hear, and how it makes you feel.

They’ll know what’s going on behind the scenes.

They’ll know that you’re suffering, that you’ve been abused.

So why isn’t this enough for his family to stand up and expose what’s unfair?

Frankly, they don’t want to speak out for fear of the consequences. They’re afraid of the narcissist and what he might do.

Related : Why Are Narcissists So Mean?

Any voice that offends them is likely to destroy the family and change the course of things forever.

What’s strange is that none of them really know what role they should play other than the roles the narcissist has assigned them.

So, yes—they remain silent—even though they know what you’re going through.

They’ve Been Trained To Post Blame Strangers

Why aren’t you speaking up?

Are you supposed to be their mother?

I thought you were the closest to them?

Why do you let them do this when you’re by their side?

It’s easier than addressing the root cause, isn’t it?

The family looks for ways to distract the world from the real culprit, by pointing the finger at outsiders—in this case, you.

That’s why your presence is so helpful, but in reality, you’re still hated.

But you’re not a scapegoat. You’re not the one who should be blamed for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As unfair as this is, it’s not true at all. It’s all the effort the narcissist has put into keeping them out of the blame cycle…

…that’s called conditioning.

Can you even begin to comprehend how powerful a narcissist is when they can manipulate an entire family into believing they’re not the problem, with the common denominator in all their problems?

It’s crazy to step into the cycle of abuse and be the bad guy, but unfortunately, this is a common practice in cases of narcissistic abuse.

Unless you step away quickly, you’ll end up tangled in a tangled web for a long time.

The family will never fully accept you as long as you contradict the narrative the narcissist has concocted and planned.