Most people who fall in love with and become attached to narcissists have a lot in common, and that’s no coincidence.
You take a quick look at them, contemplating all the possible ways to spend the rest of your life together, but everything goes wrong.
Why?
What’s the reason?
What makes you fall for a narcissist, like 69% of others?
I’ll tell you right now.
Better Get Prepared
I’m making you look bad if you fall for a narcissist, right?
I’ve got breaking news for you:
Related :11 Reasons You Need To Leave The Narcissist ASAP
This is one of those times when you can be sure it’s not your fault.
Traits are the parts of our character and personality that make us who we are, for whatever reason. They don’t mean you’re broken or incomplete.
Let me break these traits down for you, so you can see more clearly.
1 Empathy on Another Level
We all have our own needs in life, and these needs should never be ignored.
It helps shape us, defines us, and keeps us afloat in the chaos.
We want things, and that’s normal. We want to be happy, loved, or fulfilled.
While there are those who steal these things from others, there are also those who willingly give them up to feel loved in return.
But that’s love.
Empaths are highly attentive and sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, opinions, and emotions of others.
Yes, this is usually at the expense of the empath, who always values themselves.
But do you know what this does to narcissists?
It gives them someone who will always make sure they don’t matter, as long as the narcissist feels that way. #2 People-Pleasing
In a way, I think the term “people-pleasing” is a bit overused. If something is overused, it loses its meaning.
This seems overused and patronizing to me, because the art of people-pleasing can actually have devastating effects on a person.
Related : 14 Ways How Narcissists Are Paranoid
It strips them of their authenticity, and they never have the opportunity to live the way they want.
People-pleasing can become such a big problem that it can feel like working on autopilot every day without knowing how to switch off and be themselves.
This can also include the way you speak or mimicking someone else to try to make it seem like you have a lot in common.
I see this a lot in victims of narcissistic abuse, and it definitely plays a big role in making them attractive to narcissists.
3 Forgiveness
Forgiveness means overlooking their mistakes so you can move on and feel healed.
Usually, the person at fault will recognize their mistake, apologize, and make sure they don’t repeat it.
Then there are the narcissists…
…who hurt, punish, argue, and assault repeatedly because they know they can.
Because you’ll turn a blind eye and make excuses for them, or say it’s okay.
When standards are so low, the narcissist continues to abuse.
4 Believing You Can Fix Others
This starts very early for many, and it usually looks like a childhood where their needs aren’t met.
One or both parents are too busy, offering nothing but conditional love, support, or affection along the way.
The child will want to try to fix the situation, to feel better.
They constantly try to impress, or live for the love and appreciation of others. They ask for love in times of need and don’t receive it.
So what?
Related : Why Do Narcissists Start Fights For No Reason?
You enter adulthood looking for a partner to do it all with.
The narcissist comes in…
5 Excessive Patience
You have to be that way to put up with a narcissist. Whatever they do to make your life miserable, you smile and accept it, eventually forgiving.
6 Weak Boundaries
When your boundaries are weak, the narcissist will take them down. It’s their right (they believe) to do so, and who are you to stop them?
They’ll get exactly what they want from you.
7 Low Self-Esteem
If you don’t value yourself well, you’ll never be able to appreciate the kind of partner you truly deserve. All the good qualities.
Honesty.
Affection.
Loyalty.
Love.
Understanding.
Empathy.
Kindness.
Compromise.
Giving Up.
Bye-bye to everything if you’re weak.
8 Difficulty Standing Up for Yourself
If your house is made of cards, it doesn’t take much for it to collapse.
The proof is here. The narcissist wants an easy life. If you resist it, they’ll get over it. If you allow them that easy life, you can definitely stay.
9 Fear of Abandonment
Not wanting to lose someone suits narcissists perfectly, who want you at their mercy.
If you view them as someone you can take or leave, and you’ll be fine either way, then you’re clearly not making them a high enough priority.
10 Love a Fairy Tale
You want a fairytale, and you want your prince or princess charming to come and save you.
You’ve seen all the movies, and now you want to be captivated by someone who will take your breath away.
Congratulations, you’ve fallen for a narcissist.
11 The evidence doesn’t matter
No. Just hide it, and everything will be fine, right?
That’s what a narcissist loves about you.
Don’t notice their toxicity, and it won’t be a problem.
12 They See the Best in Everyone
If you see the best in a narcissist, they’ll always want you around.
You love them, and you’ll make excuses for them if necessary. They’re really sweet once you get to know them.
Is he…?
I don’t think so.
13 Codependency Issues
You’ve learned to believe that you can’t depend on yourself for anything, so you turn to others for help.
You need guidance because your self-esteem has been shattered at some point.
This is why narcissists love you.
They can mold you.
14 Love is earned
If I do this, they’ll love me.
If I bake their favorite cake, they won’t come home angry.
If I lose that weight, they’ll want to have sex with me again.
None of this makes sense, but someone with a troubled past may enter a relationship feeling like love is a concept that must be earned.
Love isn’t a supermarket loyalty card. You don’t get points.
15 Love is high and low to the max
Hot, cold, high, low, silent, loud—there’s never an in-between, and you’ve been taught your whole life that this is normal practice.
It’s ironic that all you really crave is peace. But all you’re programmed to find in others is chaos.
