Relationships are a wonderful source of happiness, love, joy, and contentment. However, not all relationships are the same; while some may feel as comforting as a warm blanket on a cold night, others may feel like an annoying sweater that doesn’t fit you. Being in a conditional relationship can make you feel bad.
Conditional relationships, in particular, can make you feel insecure and lonely because relationships and “love” come with conditions. So how do you know if you’re in a conditional relationship or not?
Today, we’ll talk about the signs of conditional love, what conditional love means, and the difference between unconditional love and conditional love. First, let’s try to understand what conditional love means.
What_Does_Conditional_Love_Mean?
Conditional love is when someone only cares about you if you meet certain conditions. Think of it like conditional love. For example, imagine dating someone who only spends time with you because you have a nice car or know the right people. This is one of the best examples of conditional love. Or imagine a parent who only showers their child with love when they win a trophy, and ignores them when they make a mistake. It’s as if their love automatically turns on and off, which can leave you feeling dissatisfied and uncertain.
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Now, let’s explore the signs of conditional love and a conditional relationship.
8 Signs You May Be in a Conditional Relationship
- You Feel Like You’ll Never Be Enough for Them.
If you’re constantly worried about needing to do more or improve, and you always feel like you can’t deliver, this is one of the biggest signs of a conditional relationship. When you constantly feel like you’ll never be able to meet their impossible expectations, it may be time to reconsider the relationship for your own sanity.
- You Can’t Seem to Trust Them, No Matter How Hard You Try.
Without trust, a relationship is doomed to fail. Even if your partner only shows love during good times, you need a certain amount of trust to sustain a relationship in the long run. However, if you constantly feel unable to trust your partner, or if they are extremely selfish and inconsiderate of your well-being, you are clearly in an unhealthy relationship.
- You gradually begin to notice that they deceive you frequently.
Deception is when someone manipulates your perception of reality to control you. They may distort your words or make you doubt the validity of what you know. Common deception tactics include using words like “always” or “never.”
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Imagine that you approach your partner with a problem, and before you know it, instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they place all the blame on you. They say something like, “I hate that you always blame me for everything, and you show me no respect in this relationship.”
- They only make you feel special in public. You may gradually discover that your partner only compliments you or shows you affection when others are watching.
Pay attention to this behavior; it could mean they only love you in certain circumstances, and perhaps there is no good reason why they wouldn’t behave the same way toward you in secret. Needing others around to show their appreciation is not normal at all.
- They always make you feel like you’ll never be their equal.
This is one of the biggest examples of conditional love. When there’s a power imbalance in a relationship, it’s a major warning sign of conditional love. It doesn’t matter if they’re manipulating you to do what they want or intentionally trying to control you; it’s not normal, and don’t even try to dismiss it as trivial.
If you feel this unequal, it could mean that your partner won’t show their love and affection unless you’re on the same page. To love someone unconditionally, you have to accept them for who they are.
- You’re always the one making the concessions in the relationship.
No matter how much you sacrifice and compromise in the relationship, your partner will refuse to back down. They have to get their way, and they’ll always be oblivious to your point of view and deaf to what you have to say, no matter what the topic. If this reminds you of your partner, your relationship is likely conditional, and they’ll only love you on their terms. Furthermore, if you stop giving in to his demands, he will most likely leave you and not even look at you.
- You may feel your mental and emotional health deteriorating.
If you feel your mental health deteriorating, conditional love may be a major cause. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy due to a lack of support and love from your partner, or you may be experiencing low self-esteem due to their constant belittling of you.
Depression may also creep in due to the way your partner treats you, especially if they are constantly criticizing you and aiming to make you feel guilty and ashamed of who you are.
- You feel shame and guilt over almost every little thing.
If your partner frequently guilt-trips you or shames you by saying things like, “If you really loved me, you would have done this,” be wary. These are warning signs of conditional love. You should be with someone who supports you and stands by you, not someone who constantly blackmails you into accomplishing something.
If they are quick to point out your flaws but rarely acknowledge your accomplishments, it has more to do with their own insecurities than anything about you.
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Now that we’ve learned the signs of conditional love and what a conditional relationship looks like, let’s talk about unconditional love vs. conditional love.
Unconditional Love vs. ConditionalLove
- Acceptance.
Unconditional love embraces you exactly as you are. This type of love accepts you, flaws and all. It doesn’t expect you to change or meet any specific standards to earn love and kindness.
Conditional love expects a lot from you and carries with it a set of expectations and requirements. This type of relationship treats love as a transaction, where affection is given or taken away based on your fulfillment of certain requirements.
- Freedom.
Unconditional love allows you to be free and unfettered, giving you the opportunity to explore, let go, and grow as a person. It supports your growth without judgment or restrictions. Conditional love causes fear and insecurity.
When love is conditional, there’s always that looming worry that you might not be good enough or that you might be excluded for not meeting certain standards. This can shake your confidence and create tension in your relationship.
- Emotional Intimacy.
Unconditional love fosters trust and intimacy. When you know someone loves you unconditionally, you feel safe and valued. This type of love allows you to open up and connect on a deeper emotional level. Conditional love can cause a lot of resentment, bitterness, and disappointment.
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In conditional relationships, you may end up feeling angry or frustrated because you’re always trying to live up to others’ expectations. It’s easy to feel like you’re not enough and never will be.
- The Quality of Love.
Unconditional love lasts and withstands life’s challenges. No matter what hardships you face, it remains strong and resilient.
Conditional love doesn’t last long because it relies on things like your achievements, appearance, or other superficial factors, and tends to be unstable. Conditional relationships are fleeting, and breaking them doesn’t require much effort.
Conclusion
If you experience any of these signs of conditional love, or suspect you may be in a conditional relationship, you urgently need to rethink everything and start over.
You deserve to be with someone who cares about you, not your looks or income. Give true love a chance, and you’ll see how beautiful it is to be with someone who understands the value of true love and companionship.
