You are so beautiful.
I can’t think of anyone more perfect for this job than you.
You make every day better.
You can do it, just believe in yourself!…
…No narcissist has ever said them.
You’ll never hear these phrases because they boost a person’s self-esteem.
Narcissists are determined to destroy it.
I bet you now want to know the 13 most common phrases they use to achieve this…
…You’re lucky then…!
Learn Toxic Phrases
When you’ve been around a narcissist for a long time, it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between the toxic and the non-toxic.
They have a special way of making sarcastic comments under a smile or pretending to have your best interests at heart.
Related : 10 Signs of The Female Narcissist
When you can differentiate between the two, your world will change.
Hold On To Your Confidence
Your self-esteem doesn’t belong to anyone, and it’s never too late to regain it, even if you’ve lost a significant portion of it.
Your self-confidence is what carries you through life, and without it, you’re a shadow of yourself.
That’s why you should always be aware of these phrases—and never believe them.
13 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Use to Destroy Your Self-Confidence
- “You’re not going out like this, are you?”
A classic, you’ll agree!
You’re all dressed up and ready for the evening. For the first time, you’ve taken the time to look good, and despite your plummeting self-confidence, you’ve pulled an outfit out of your bag that makes you feel almost normal.
Related : The Narcissist Wants You To Hate Them
As you honor the narcissist with your presence, he walks out with this.
And suddenly, you feel young again.
You don’t want to go. You want to change, but it’s too late, so the most likely scenario is that you have to get dressed because you’ve been feeling completely self-conscious all night.
Either that, or you’re asked—almost asked—to wear other clothes.
- “You won’t make it”
This is a common phrase narcissistic parents use with their children.
Especially with children who dare to dream and set big goals for themselves.
“You won’t make it” is meant to destroy your self-esteem, causing you to stop pursuing your dreams or settle for working 9-5 instead of pursuing what you truly want.
This is how narcissists keep you trapped, far from your true potential. They don’t want you to be more successful than them, because then they’ll consider you a failure.
- “I’m busy, not right now”
Narcissists are always too busy when it matters to you, yet they expect you to give up everything for them.
If you need them, or want to talk, they’ll do their best to make you feel unimportant by pushing you aside and telling you to shut up.
Related ;: Narcissists Hate People With These 8 Traits
Over time, you’ll learn that your feelings don’t matter. There will come a time when you ignore your feelings.
- “Okay, calm down!”
Oh, we’re having a great time, aren’t we?
Well, we should stop that first!
We can’t let you have too much fun, because it might make you feel happy!
Narcissists will sarcastically tell you to calm down, or they’ll mock you if you dare to exaggerate your happiness about something you’ve achieved, like exam results or a passed test at work.
Eventually, you’ll stop being annoying altogether.
- “I can’t stand you acting like that!”
You acting like that?!
Narcissists can’t stand you, even if it’s positive. What’s the difference?
If you’re planning a party or trying to organize some simple home improvements, this is a great opportunity for the narcissist to remind you that they can’t stand you.
There you are, innocently trying to be assertive or forward-looking, and you’re almost punished for it.
- “Don’t get too excited, it’s embarrassing.”
Narcissists will quickly tell you when they’re embarrassed by you, for no other reason than to clearly embarrass you.
Related : 17 Signs You Dealt With Narcissistic Abuse as a Kid
Let’s say you’re excited about concert tickets, looking forward to seeing someone, or looking forward to a part of your future. In this case, the narcissist will bring you back down to earth.
Your excitement is something they don’t understand. They want to drain your happiness as a result, and they will.
- “When was the last time you got a haircut?”
You don’t have to be perfect to feel happy, but it’s nice to look like you care about yourself and your needs, right?
When a toxic person directly asks you about your appearance, you know they’re trying to make you feel negative about yourself.
They want you to feel bad.
Why? Because they feel it every day, and how dare you?!
- “This food is too cold, too hot, did you put onions in it?”
Hey, you know it would be great if you cooked more food from scratch. We eat a lot of takeaway.
Do you think changing dishes is bad for you? You seem to keep cooking the same ones—it’s boring.
Well, it’s true.
And it’s not good enough.
It’s hot, cold, spicy, too much garlic, too little salt—anything!
This is the essence of every victim’s story: nothing is ever enough.
Related : You’ll Never Guess These Texting Tricks Narcissists Use to Control You
Imagine sounding the alarm while your self-esteem is shackled.
- “Nobody wants you!”
That old saying!
Narcissists really convince you that you’re unlovable to anyone else.
No one will love or want you—and telling you so makes you feel like your lowest self.
- “You’re worthless”
“You’re worthless”? That’s a harsh and hurtful word to describe someone you’re supposed to love, right?
This should make you worry, but you’d be surprised how much it doesn’t.
That’s because victims are programmed not to believe what they think is true, so logic often fails.
- “I was just kidding.”
No, you weren’t.
You were being mean, and now you’re trying to make it a joke so you don’t look like the biggest idiot in the world.
Related : Find Out How Narcissists Turn Every Phone Call Into a Power Play
Except no one’s laughing, and as usual, you’ve hurt someone’s feelings.
- “They obviously felt sorry for you.”
Getting that job, or a raise, or getting a good deal on something you bought, or making a new friend can’t be that way, because you’re a good person who just happened to get lucky at that moment.
There’s no doubt there’s sympathy for you for whatever reason.
This is harsh and unnecessary—and moreover, it’s just not true.
- “You can’t live without me.”
Yes, you can, and you will.
Being told you can’t is supposed to undermine your self-confidence, making you stop trying to live without them.
What next?
Oh, that’s right. Then the narcissist gets to abuse you forevermore!
