You are so beautiful.
I can’t think of anyone more perfect for this job than you.
You make every day better.
You can do it, just believe in yourself!…
…No narcissist has ever said them.
You’ll never hear these phrases because they boost a person’s self-esteem.
Narcissists are determined to destroy it.
I bet you now want to know the 13 most common phrases they use to achieve this…
…You’re lucky then…!
Learn Toxic Phrases
When you’ve been around a narcissist for a long time, it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between the toxic and the non-toxic.
They have a special way of making sarcastic comments under a smile or pretending to have your best interests at heart.
RELATED : 10 Signs of The Female Narcissist
When you can differentiate between the two, your world will change.
Hold On To Your Confidence
Your self-esteem doesn’t belong to anyone, and it’s never too late to regain it, even if you’ve lost a significant portion of it.
Your self-confidence is what carries you through life, and without it, you’re a shadow of yourself.
That’s why you should always be aware of these phrases—and never believe them.
13 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Use to Destroy Your Self-Confidence
- “You’re not going out like this, are you?”
A classic, you’ll agree!
You’re all dressed up and ready for the evening. For the first time, you’ve taken the time to look good, and despite your plummeting self-confidence, you’ve pulled an outfit out of the bag that makes you feel almost normal.
As you honor the narcissist with your presence, he walks out with this.
And suddenly, you feel young again.
You don’t want to go. You want to change, but it’s too late, so the most likely scenario is that you’ll just get dressed because you’ve been feeling self-conscious all night.
Either that, or you’re asked—almost asked—to put on another outfit.
- “It won’t work.”
This is a common phrase narcissistic parents say to their children.
Especially children who dare to dream and set big goals for themselves.
The phrase “You won’t succeed” is designed to destroy your self-confidence, causing you to stop pursuing your dreams or settle for working 9-to-5 instead of pursuing what you truly want.
This is how narcissists limit you, keeping you from your true potential. They don’t want you to be more successful than them because they’ll see you as a failure.
- “I’m busy, not right now”
Narcissists are always too busy when it matters to you, yet they expect you to drop everything for them.
If you need them, or want to talk, they’ll do their best to make you feel unimportant by pushing you aside and telling you to shut up.
Over time, you’ll learn that your feelings don’t matter. There will come a time when you’ll ignore them.
- “Okay, chill out.”
Oh, we’re having a great time, aren’t we?
Well, we should stop this first!
We can’t let you have too much fun, because it might make you feel happy!
Narcissists will sarcastically tell you to calm down or ignore you if you dare to exaggerate your happiness about something you’ve achieved, like exam results or passing a test at work.
Eventually, you’ll stop being annoying altogether.
- “I can’t stand your attitude.”
Your attitude?!
Narcissists can’t stand your attitude, even if it’s positive. What’s the difference?
If you’re planning a party or making simple home improvements, this is a great opportunity for the narcissist to remind you that they can’t stand this attitude from you.
Related : The Narcissist Wants You To Hate Them
There you are, innocently trying to be assertive or forward-looking, and you’re almost punished for it.
- “Don’t get too excited, it’s embarrassing.”
Narcissists will quickly let you know when they’re embarrassed by you, for no other reason than to clearly embarrass you.
Let’s say you’re excited about concert tickets, looking forward to seeing someone, or just positively anticipating a part of your future. In this case, the narcissist will bring you back to reality.
Your excitement is something they don’t understand. They want to steal your happiness, and they will.
- “When was the last time you got a haircut?”
You don’t have to look perfect to feel happy, but it’s nice to look like you’re taking care of yourself and your needs, right?
When a toxic person directly asks you about your appearance, you know they’re trying to make you feel negative about yourself.
They want you to feel your worst.
Why? Because they feel it every day, and how dare you?!
- “This food is too cold, too hot, did you put onions in it?”
Hey, you know, it would be great if you cooked more from scratch. We eat a lot of takeaway food.
Do you think starting to cook different dishes will hurt? You seem to keep cooking the same ones—it’s boring.
Well, it’s true.
And it’s not good enough.
It’s hot, cold, spicy, too much garlic, not enough salt—whatever!!
This is the essence of every victim’s story: nothing is good enough.
It’s like you’re sounding the alarm and your self-esteem is crippled.
- “Nobody wants you!”
That’s the truth!
Narcissists really make sure you’re not loved by anyone else.
Nobody loves or wants you—and telling you so makes you feel the worst.
- “You’re worthless”
“You’re worthless”? That’s a harsh and hurtful word to describe someone you’re supposed to love, right?
This should make you worry, but you’d be surprised how much it doesn’t.
That’s because victims are programmed not to believe what they think is true, so logic often fails.
- “I was just kidding.”
No, you weren’t.
You were being mean, and now you’re trying to make it a joke so you don’t look like the biggest idiot in the world.
But no one’s laughing, and you’ve hurt someone’s feelings (as usual). 12. “They obviously felt sorry for you.”
Related : 9 Questions We Want The Narcissist To Answer
Getting that job, or the raise, or getting a good deal on something you bought, or making a new friend can’t be true, because you’re a good person who just happened to get lucky at that moment.
There’s no doubt some kind of sympathy for you for whatever reason.
This is cruel, unnecessary, and even untrue.
- “You can’t live without me.”
Yes, you can, and you will.
Being told you can’t is supposed to undermine your self-confidence, so you stop trying to live without them.
What next?
Oh, that’s right. Then the narcissist gets to abuse you forevermore!
