Narcissists only like certain people.
I know, I know, they act like they like everyone, but that’s only because they want everyone to like them.
If a narcissist is drawn to you as if by some kind of magnetic force – there has to be a reason.
That reason will never be good (at least for you).
It’s hard to learn lessons about why you’ve become a magnet for any type of toxic person, but once you know, the power shifts to you.
Do you want to change the way you act to release the narcissist back into the wild?
Stay with me to find out!
YouDon’tMeanToBe…
Who in their right mind would want to attract someone as dangerous, draining, and toxic as a narcissist?
I don’t think it occurs to anyone to specifically go out and make sure you’re putting yourself in front of a new abuser – but these things happen.
The question is why? Why is this happening to you? What makes another narcissist come knocking at your door, and how can you stop them?
So, what makes you a magnet for narcissists?
I don’t want the truth to hurt you. I want the truth to set you free.
1 How to Forgive Willingly
Forgiveness when you’ve been wronged is giving the person who wronged you the benefit of the doubt. This does two things:
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It teaches them that they can continually manipulate and harass you
It shows that you don’t set boundaries, and that you’ll accept any form of treatment toward you
I don’t want that for you, and I’m always amazed at how many people don’t see the willingness to forgive as a problem.
I know we all make mistakes, and I’m not talking about those mistakes. I’m talking about the real, intentional pain that others inflict on you.
2 You’re Overly Empathetic
You may hear that empaths are troublemakers, but I want you to know how untrue that is.
Empathetic people feel and love deeply. They’re sensitive to what’s going on around them, and this can cause them to absorb other people’s grief like a sponge.
It also causes them to absorb other things, like blame, shame, and guilt. That’s why it’s so easy for narcissists to target them.
3 You Love Saving
Saving is what you do best, to the point where “rescuer” is your middle name!
How is it possible that you love saving people for a living?
Many people found their value in their early years by improving the atmosphere when there was conflict around them, acting as peacekeepers, and learning how to crack jokes to break the heavy air.
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Saving people – saving situations. You are there to make everything better, no matter how bad things are.
If you’re naturally good at this, that’s what narcissists will love about you.
You’ll always be there to clear up their mess.
4 Your Positivity
Narcissists can mine positivity and won’t hesitate to take what’s yours if it means they feel better about themselves.
This is called “supply,” and if you’re positive in your personality, that supply will be endless for them.
5 You Had a Narcissistic Parent
Not many people want to go back in time and remember how they felt the moment they discovered that one or both parents were narcissists.
At first, it’s a painful open can of worms, realizing all the times you were abused and having little idea what was really going on.
What kid would do that? You’re just trying your best to thrive and be loved along with growing up—and for many kids, the two don’t happen at the same time.
When you’re treated a certain way, that’s what you expect in other relationships. A shaky foundation is the foundation of a shaky home.
6 The People-Pleasing Person
The constant desire to please others is what narcissists love about you.
That means they have permission to make your most ridiculous demands, and all you’ll do in return is exhaust yourself trying to please them.
7 You Want to Be Loved
If there was something that was missing in your life as a child, you want to find it as an adult.
I want people to love me.
I want to feel like I’m worthy.
I will do what it takes to be loved.
There’s nothing else you should do but be yourself. It won’t be good enough for the wrong people, but it will be perfect for the people who are meant to be in your life.
8 Your Fears Are Manifested
If a narcissist knows what makes you insecure, they can use those things against you in their twisted pursuit of toxic success.
Telling them about your fears and triggers is like handing them weapons that they will eventually shoot you with.
9 Codependency
Codependency fails to create healthy relationships based on how your wants and needs are sidelined in favor of the person you’re with.
Instead of mutual love, it’s the idea that one or both people are dependent on each other only, and in abusive relationships, the narcissist forms this codependency with the victim.
Victims are more likely to exhibit codependent traits because of their deep need to please others and fall for the smallest gestures a narcissist offers.
10 You Want a Happy Ending
Everyone wants one, but when you focus on the happy ending, you miss what’s really happening in the moment.
11 Any Love, Is Love
A little bread crumb of affection here, an “I love you” note there – and it makes your whole week.
That’s not love. Words aren’t love – actions are love.
12 Fear of Being Alone
I think we can all worry about ending up alone, but it’s the real fear of not having anyone that keeps you in whatever situation suits you.
Stop it – please. I’m seriously begging you all to reconsider just getting along.
13 You Believe in Them
What do you believe?
Words, again.
Those words mean nothing if they’re not backed up by facts or actions.
Narcissists will happily walk all over you if you continue to give them the benefit of the doubt.
14 Your Identity Is for Sale
Who wants to buy it?
Wait, what do you mean you’re not selling it?
What you mean is you’re not consciously selling it.
But it’s still for sale.
And the narcissist has all the money in the world to shine on you if you sacrifice it.
Don’t let their superficial power be the thing that steals your identity from you.
