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Have you ever felt like you’re hanging out with a narcissist who pretends to be your friend, but is secretly plotting to bring you down? You’re not imagining it. Sometimes, narcissistic women can be adept at pretending everything is okay while harboring silent resentment. But don’t worry — I’ve got your back. Here are 25 signs she’s a narcissist with hostility that you should be aware of.
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- Her compliments are laced with insults
She’ll give you a “compliment” that seems kind — until you realize it’s a backhanded jab. “Wow, you look great for someone who usually looks like a mess.”
- She’s always “too busy” for you
But when it comes time to talk about herself, she’s never too busy. Oh, do you need something? Sorry, too busy to care, apparently.
- She’s a master of the silent treatment
If she’s upset, you’ll never know why. She turns away, ignores you, and then asks, “What’s wrong?” with that sweet smile, knowing full well that it’s her problem, not yours.
- She plays the “victim” at every opportunity
Even when she’s the one in the wrong, she somehow twists it to make you the villain. It’s her world, and you’re just living in it—while she plays the eternal martyr.
- Her “helpful” advice is actually judgment
“Oh, you should try to be more confident—maybe it’ll help you in life.” Translation: “You’re not good enough, and I’m doing you a favor by pointing that out.”
- She steals your ideas and claims them as her own
Have a great idea at work? Don’t be shocked when she later “suggests” it as her own. Her version is always better. It’s her world, only you.
- She Makes Everything About Her
Every time you talk about your life, she immediately turns it into something about her. “That’s cute, but let me tell you what happened to me.”
- She Uses “I’m Not Like Other Girls” to Manipulate You
She tells you how much better she is than all the other girls. “I’m not like those girls at all.” Of course, honey, whatever makes you feel special—until she starts using the same tricks.
- She’s Constantly Competing With You
Did she get a new job or an accomplishment? She must have something better to brag about. She doesn’t like being second best at anything, even if it’s something small.
- She’s always “too perfect” for you
No matter what you do, she’ll find a way to make you feel like you’re not good enough. “Why can’t you be more like Steve? He’s got his life sorted.” Steve is probably a flawless robot, right?
- She loves being the center of attention
If she gets a little compliment, she’s there, subtly reminding everyone that she was the “real” star of the show all along.
Related : 15 Sneaky Steps Female Narcissists Use to Flip the Script—Turning You into the “Crazy Abuser”
- She sabotages your success
Instead of celebrating your victories, she finds ways to undermine them. “Oh, you got promoted? That’s great… but don’t you think you could have done better?”
- She pretends to be “too strong” for anything
Every time you open up, she interjects, “I don’t need anyone to save me.” She’s trying to prove that being weak is weakness, but somehow, she’s stronger than all of that.
- She Makes Everything a Power Struggle
Whether it’s a small opinion or a big decision, she’s always trying to show who’s in charge. Hint: It’s her, and if you can’t see that, you’re living in her narcissistic reality.
- She Hides Her True Feelings Behind “I’m Fine”
She might say she’s fine while giving you a death stare. No, she’s not. She’s just trying to keep up appearances while quietly hiding her hatred.
- She Never Apologizes
If she does something wrong, good luck getting an apology. Her ego is too inflated for that. If so, she’ll make it seem like you’re the one at fault because you expect it.
- She Acts Like You Owe Her Everything
The moment she does something “kind” for you, expect her to reflect on it in your heart. “Remember when I did that for you?” Yes, it was a gift, but it clearly comes with a lifetime payback.
- She keeps you on your toes
You never know when she’ll be in a mood, and unpredictability is her weapon. One moment she’s sweet, the next she’s cold. Get ready for a nonstop emotional rollercoaster ride.
- She turns your problems around her
When you bring up something personal or difficult, she turns it into a reflection of her own life. “Oh, are you feeling down? Let me tell you about a time I felt that way—only my life was much worse.”
- She competes with your friends
She’ll try to convince you that your friends are a threat to your relationship. “Why do you always hang out with them?” Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because they’re not emotionally manipulating me?
- She needs to win every argument
Even when she’s wrong, she’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure she wins. Being right is more important to her than keeping the peace.
- She plays on your vulnerabilities
Anything you share with her could be potential ammunition for later. You open your heart to her, and suddenly she throws it back in your face during an argument.
- She plays the “poor me” card
Whenever something goes wrong, she makes sure to remind you how hard life is for her. “It’s always one thing after another for me. I can’t stand a chance!” Meanwhile, she’s the one causing the drama.
- She makes you wonder
One moment she’s obsessed with you, and the next she’s distant and cold. She likes to keep you guessing about where you stand.
- She thinks she’s better than you
You’ll always feel like she’s looking down on you. Even in your moments of triumph, she’ll remind you that she’s “on another level.” Just be prepared to feel inadequate if you’re with her.
If you notice these signs, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with her. Narcissistic behavior can make you question your worth, manipulate your emotions, and leave you in a constant state of self-doubt. Don’t let her create a reality where you’re always wrong or constantly under her control. Be strong enough to walk away before you fall into her trap. You deserve better than the love of a toxic, manipulative narcissist.