When it comes to relationships, whether personal or professional, communication is key. But what if the person you’re communicating with seems to have a knack for making everything revolve around them? If you’ve ever been subjected to text messages that make you feel small, manipulative, or confused, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a narcissist. Often misunderstood or misdiagnosed, narcissism is a personality trait where individuals have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In this article, we’ll explore 12 common text messages that can reveal a narcissist’s true colors.

1. “You should be grateful that I’m talking to you.”

Narcissists often feel like they’re doing others a favor by simply being there. This text message is a classic example of how they put themselves on a pedestal, making you feel inadequate. They want you to believe that their interest in you is a privilege rather than a shared experience. If you find yourself questioning your self-worth after a message like this, it’s a sign of manipulative behavior.

2. “It’s not my fault you feel this way.”

One of the hallmarks of narcissists is their inability to take responsibility for their actions. Instead of acknowledging the harm they may have caused, they shift the blame and shift it onto you. This text message is an example of how they dismiss your feelings while making it seem like you’re the one at fault. It’s manipulation at its finest, leaving you confused and questioning your reality.

3. “You’re overreacting.”

Narcissists love to downplay your feelings, especially when they’re feeling criticized. When you express discomfort or frustration with their behavior, they may dismiss it as an overreaction. This tactic is intended to invalidate your feelings and silence you. The goal is to make you question your emotional responses and doubt yourself.

4. “I don’t care what you think.”

Narcissists are often so preoccupied with their own perspective that they ignore others. When they send a text message like this, they’re clearly telling you that your opinion doesn’t matter to them. This lack of respect for your thoughts and feelings is a glaring red flag. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, and a narcissist will actively undermine that principle.

5. “I’m sorry you feel this way, but…”

A narcissist’s apology usually comes with a twist. While they may say the words “I’m sorry,” they often follow it with an excuse or justification for their behavior. This subtle manipulation tactic shows that they don’t truly regret their actions; they just want to minimize the conflict without taking responsibility. It’s an apology in form, but not in substance.

6. “You’ll never find someone like me.”

Here’s a subtle but powerful narcissistic tactic: love bombing and emotional manipulation in one message. Narcissists often try to make their partners or friends feel like they’re irreplaceable. This message suggests that you’ll never be able to find someone who meets your needs in the same way they meet yours, trapping you in a cycle of emotional dependency.

7. “You’re lucky I still talk to you.”

Narcissists frequently remind you of how much they do for you. This text is designed to reinforce their sense of superiority and make you feel like you should be grateful for their attention. They want to create a power imbalance, with them on top and you on the bottom. It’s an attempt to control the dynamic and maintain their dominant position.

8. “You always make everything about you.”

Narcissists are masters of projection. They blame others for behaviors they themselves engage in. If they’re constantly seeking attention and turning every conversation toward themselves, they may accuse you of doing the same. This tactic shifts blame and makes you feel guilty for behavior that isn’t yours.

9. “I’m just trying to help you.”

Narcissists often disguise their manipulative behavior as help. They may send messages like this to position themselves as the “hero” in your life, offering advice or unwanted intervention. However, their “help” often comes with strings attached, such as control or expecting gratitude. It’s a subtle attempt to assert dominance while making you feel indebted.

10. “If you really loved me, I would [insert request].”

Emotional manipulation is a common tool of narcissists. By linking their demands to love or affection, they make you feel like a bad partner or friend if you don’t comply. This type of texting turns love into a transaction, where your actions are constantly measured by their standards. It’s a way to control you and guilt you into submission.

11. “You’d be nothing without me.”

This text is a blatant power play. Narcissists often seek to undermine your self-esteem and independence. By claiming that you owe them your success, happiness, or even your identity, they’re trying to keep you emotionally dependent on them. It’s a toxic message that seeks to break your self-esteem and keep you in a submissive position.

See also: Emotional Void: Why You Should Never Rely on a Narcissist for Support

12. “You’re just jealous because I’m so much better than you.”

Narcissists thrive on competition and comparisons, even in relationships. This message is a direct attack on your self-worth, meaning that any negative feelings you have toward them stem from your jealousy or inadequacy. The goal is to make you feel inferior and feed their inflated ego.

How to Respond to Narcissistic Text Messages

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s essential to recognize these signs early on. Narcissists rely on emotional manipulation, and by understanding their tactics, you can protect your mental and emotional health. When dealing with narcissistic text messages, consider these strategies:

Don’t engage in arguments: Narcissists thrive on conflict and drama. Instead of engaging in their manipulative web, maintain emotional distance and refuse to engage in unproductive arguments.

Set boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Let them know what behavior is and isn’t acceptable. Be firm but respectful in your communication.

• Validate your feelings: Narcissists are skilled at making you doubt your own feelings. Remember that your feelings are valid, even if they try to make you feel otherwise. – Consider limiting or cutting off contact: In extreme cases, it may be necessary to limit or cut off contact with the narcissist. This can be a difficult decision, but it may be the best option for your mental health.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a narcissist can feel like walking on eggshells. Their manipulative behaviors and toxic messages can take a toll on your self-esteem and sense of self. However, by recognizing the warning signs and responding carefully, you can protect yourself from their harmful tactics. If you find yourself receiving narcissistic text messages on a regular basis, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and consider taking steps toward healing. Remember, you deserve relationships built on respect, compassion, and mutual care—nothing less.

See also: The Ugly Truth: 12 Shameless Ways Narcissists Treat Their Exes