Apologies are sincere expressions of regret and remorse for one’s actions. However, narcissists often use apologies as a tool to manipulate and control others. They may appear to be apologizing on the surface, but their intentions are far from sincere. Here are the top 10 narcissistic apologies and how they feign remorse:
Disclaimer: This blog is for entertainment and general information purposes only. Please do your own research before acting on any content shared here.
- Directed Apology
When confronted with their mistakes, narcissists often shift the blame onto others. They may say they are sorry, then follow up with excuses or justifications for their behavior. This type of apology shifts the focus away from their actions to someone or something else.
Narcissists may say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but if you hadn’t provoked me, I wouldn’t have acted the way I did.” This type of apology is not a true admission of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to avoid taking responsibility.
By avoiding blame, narcissists are able to maintain their sense of superiority and control over the situation. They don’t truly feel remorse for their actions, but instead seek to protect their fragile ego.
- Conditional Apology
Narcissists may make apologies that are conditional on receiving something in return. They may say they’re sorry, but only if the other person agrees to forgive them or overlook their behavior. This type of apology is manipulative and insincere.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but can we move on now?” This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a tactic to avoid facing the consequences of their actions.
Narcissists view apologies as a transaction, where they can replace a superficial apology with forgiveness and continued control of the situation. Their apologies do not stem from genuine remorse, but rather from a desire to maintain their power and influence.
- Manipulative Apology
Manipulation is a tactic that narcissists use to manipulate others into doubting their reality. When offering apologies, narcissists may use manipulative techniques to distort the truth and confuse the other person. They may deny or minimize their actions, causing the other person to question their memory and perception.
They may say something like, “I don’t remember doing that, are you sure it happened that way?” This type of apology is intended to make the other person doubt themselves and feel like they are overreacting or being overly sensitive.
By manipulating apologies, narcissists are able to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and maintain control over the narrative. They don’t really apologize for their behavior, but instead seek to manipulate the other person into doubting their reality.
- The Pity Party Apology
When narcissists apologize, they may play the victim and direct attention back to themselves. Instead of focusing on the hurt they caused, they may make excuses for their behavior or talk about how difficult their life has been.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry for what I did, but you need to understand how stressed I’ve been lately.” This type of apology isn’t a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a way for the narcissist to gain sympathy and attention.
Narcissists use pity party apologies to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and overlooking their harmful actions. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but instead seek validation and reassurance from others.
- Over-Apologizing
When narcissists apologize, they may over-dramatize or make grand gestures. They may cry, scream, or make exaggerated promises to change their ways. This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a performance to manipulate and control others.
They may say something like, “I can’t believe I did that to you. I’m the worst person in the world. I’ll do anything to make it right.” This type of apology is intended to gain others’ attention and sympathy, rather than truly admitting their wrongdoing.
By using over-apologies, narcissists are able to shift the focus away from their actions and onto their emotional state. They don’t truly apologize for their behavior, but instead seek to manipulate and control others through dramatic displays of emotion.
- Not Apologizing
One of the most common tactics narcissists use when apologizing is not apologizing. This type of apology may seem like an apology on the surface, but upon closer examination, it is actually a distortion or justification of their actions.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I had a good reason for what I did.” This type of apology is not a true admission of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Narcissists use indirect apologies to maintain their sense of superiority and control over a situation. They do not truly feel remorse for their behavior, but instead seek to blame others or justify their actions.
- Love Bombing Apology
Love bombing is a tactic that narcissists use to manipulate others by showering them with affection, praise, and attention. When offering apologies, narcissists may use love bombing as a way to distract from their harmful actions and control the narrative.
They may say something like, “I’m so sorry for what I did. You mean everything to me. I don’t know what I would do without you.” This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a way to manipulate and control the other person through flattery and affection.
Narcissists use love bombing apologies to keep the other person emotionally invested in the relationship and dependent on their approval. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but rather use affection and praise as a tool to maintain control over the other person.
- Justified Apology
Narcissists may offer apologies laced with justifications for their actions. They may say they’re sorry, but then follow up with explanations or excuses for why they acted the way they did. This type of apology isn’t a true admission of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to shift blame and avoid taking responsibility.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry for what I did, but you have to understand that I was under a lot of stress at the time.” This type of apology isn’t based on genuine remorse, but rather on a desire to protect their fragile ego and maintain their sense of superiority.
By justifying their actions during apologies, narcissists are able to avoid facing the consequences of their behavior and continue to manipulate and control others. They are not truly sorry for their actions, but instead seek to maintain their power and influence over the situation.
- Passive-Aggressive Apology
When narcissists apologize, they may use passive-aggressive language or tone to subtly undermine the other person. They may say they are sorry, then follow up with sarcastic comments or indirect compliments. This type of apology is not a genuine expression of regret, but rather a way to belittle and control the other person.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry if what I did upset you, I guess I’m not as perfect as you.” This type of apology is intended to make the other person feel guilty or insecure, rather than truly admitting their mistake.
Narcissists use passive-aggressive apologies to maintain their sense of superiority and control over the other person. They don’t truly apologize for their behavior, but instead seek to manipulate and undermine the other person through subtle jabs and insults.
- Future Pretending to apologize
Narcissists may apologize by making promises to change their behavior in the future. They may say they’re sorry, but then follow up with grand declarations about how they’ll do better next time. This type of apology isn’t a true admission of wrongdoing, but rather a way to manipulate and control the other person.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry for what I did, and I promise I won’t do it again, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.” This type of apology is intended to give the other person false hope and reassurance, rather than truly changing their behavior.
By pretending to be sorry in the future during apologies, narcissists maintain their power and control over the other person. They do not truly regret their actions, but instead use promises of change as a way to manipulate the other person into staying in the relationship.
Conclusion
Narcissists are skilled at feigning remorse through their manipulative apologies. Whether they avoid blame, use conditional language, deceive others, or employ other tactics, their apologies are often insincere and selfish. It is important to recognize these behavior patterns and not fall for their manipulative tactics. Genuine remorse involves taking responsibility, making amends, and changing harmful behavior, none of which are typically seen in narcissistic apologies.
