Feeling trapped in a narcissistic relationship means you realize that something is seriously wrong, and that something needs to change.

It’s okay to feel this way, but many people see it as worse because they feel like their lives will be completely ruined in the process of walking away.

And no, it’s not always wise to leave – after all – you need to take care of yourself and do it safely.

Leaving may seem impossible – but it’s not. I want to show you why, and how you can overcome this last bit of guilt (hopefully).

Is it time to take your power back?

Yes!

IKNOW IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE

Take a deep breath.

I know it can seem absolutely impossible to leave a narcissist, without even thinking about your future with them.

What’s even more impossible is how you can convince yourself that it’s the right thing to do.

Weighing up your options feels like choosing between a bunch of terrible things that don’t come close to the terrible ways you were treated.

Related : Discover the Two Shocking Indicators You’re Being Groomed by a Narcissist

The impossibility comes from your lack of self-confidence, the empty void in your heart where your self-confidence once was strong.

It won’t stay that way forever, I promise.

What’s stopping you?

It’s one thing to need help leaving a narcissist, but assuming your life will be ruined is assuming it’s currently perfect and manageable.

It’s not.

So what are the things you feel are stopping you when you think about leaving?

Is it the security of having someone around?

Is it about finances?

Is it about believing that no one else will want you?

Is it about not being sure about approaching your loved one and telling them that the relationship didn’t work out?

Do you actually feel like a failure in love?

None of these things should hold you back, but they do for many.

That’s why they insist on staying in abusive, unhealthy relationships.

Can it get any worse?

The most ridiculous part of staying in an abusive relationship is the idea that it will only get worse if you leave.

There’s nothing worse than being stuck with an abusive person. Living with them day in and day out.

Listening to how they drag you down and make you feel worthless. They take away your happiness and independence. They threaten you and control you. They make you miserable.

I’ve known people who have left with only one night stand to start over in a new place, on their own.

I’m not saying that doesn’t sound scary, and I’m certainly not underestimating how brave it is – but it is possible.

That first day you leave, you feel the most vulnerable you’ve ever been, but it only gets better from there.

The days, weeks, and months after a breakup with a narcissist will likely give them the space and time to create a false persona.

They’ll present it to everyone they know in the hopes that they can turn the world against you.

In their eyes, you wanted to be alone—and now you will be.

Does this work for everyone?

I won’t lie – this works for some people. They will make their own decisions, and you’ll be surprised who will side with the narcissist – but that’s not the end of the story for you.

WhoAreTheDestroyer

I think this is what most people tend to forget – the destroyer is not you, even if the narcissist’s narrative tells you so.

Victims spend a lot of time in the strong belief that they are somehow to blame; that they caused the narcissist’s behavior.

If you are a victim, or have ever been a victim – you were not.

Destruction only comes from the person who has all the power to be that way, and narcissists thrive on having that power.

Related : The Ultimate Guide to Survive a Narcissist 

They see it as an automatic entitlement, a way to get what they want, when they want it.

Leaving a narcissist means that you can reclaim your life and take your power back, and if they tell you otherwise, it’s just to make you not want to leave them.

YourPower

Your power has always been in your ability to make the right decisions for you. This is where our power lies, but narcissists can convince you that you have no power at all.

When you decide to leave a narcissist, your mind will come up with reasons why it’s not possible without severely destroying your life.

These thoughts stem from the way the narcissist has programmed you over the years to believe that you won’t be able to cope without them.

In fact, you can. You’ve become weak because of your abuse, but you still have the option to walk away.

This option never goes anywhere, but the narcissist hides it very well.

Your power lies in finding it!

Making It Safe to Leave

I’m a firm believer in not offering advice that might put you in danger or another conflict that might make things worse for you. However, it should be the right thing to do.

If you’re thinking about leaving your narcissistic partner, I urge you to think about your own situation rather than doing it directly.

This might look like this:

Ensuring you have a safe place to go.

Confiding in someone you know who is trustworthy will help you rather than telling everyone about your plans.

Make sure you have any identification or official documents such as passports packed and ready to take with you.

Don’t threaten to leave, or say when you’re going. If you need to leave quietly, do it quietly.

If you can, put a little money aside to help you get where you want to go.

I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes it’s better to stay with a narcissist so you can plan your next move.

If you’ve been seriously abused in any way – that’s a whole other story – you know what to do.

KnowingWhenHoldingOn …

If you feel like doing this will ruin your life, you’re not looking at the bigger picture. I think sometimes there’s a compelling excuse for staying with a narcissist because you want to be seen as doing the right thing by them. Knowing, realizing, and acknowledging that they don’t care about you will help you start doing the right thing for yourself.