I feel like we all need a guide these days, don’t we? It seems like narcissists are making themselves known more and more, and it’s because people like you want to know about them.

In the past, they got away with being toxic, but now, you’re going after every single one of them with your knowledge and courage.

So – for those of you who want this pocket guide – I can’t think of a better time to provide it to you.

The ultimate survival against a narcissist is here…

GivingWhatYou’reWorth

This is the whole reason I’m here, and the narcissistic life exists.

Besides my medical degrees, and all the work it took to get to this point, there’s a desperate need to express why you matter, and why you matter.

Surviving a narcissist means living through the pain and trauma of unfair and unkind treatment, to a point where you can thrive.

This is my goal with each and every one of you who are somewhere in your healing journey.

You may just be starting out, or you may be a little further along the way. Wherever you are – you’ve been through tough times, and you find a way to get through them on your own terms.

Narcissists: Break It

Let’s erase what society tells us.

Let’s push back on what we’ve been told by family and friends, because we all have different families and friends.

Let’s get to the facts. We can work with facts, because facts are universal.

Narcissists are emotionally unhealthy, disorganized, and absent-minded. We’ve all heard about bullet points, signs, and symptoms, but I want to talk to you human to human right now.

They are dangerous. They light up when you’re struggling. They tell you they love you, or want to help, while taking something bigger from you.

You know when you’re in the presence of a narcissist, because you feel like you’re being lost to their ego. They’re always right, and they never want to admit they’re wrong about anything.

You never know where you stand with them. One moment they want to be your best friend, and the next you hear them talking about you behind their back.

Being with a narcissist is hard because they’re always there. Parties, meals, gatherings, events; they are there. They make it all less enjoyable just by being there.

Working with a narcissist is hard because you constantly feel like everything you do isn’t good enough or important enough.

You’re challenged, and you feel inadequate at what you do. You dread going to work because you know it’s going to be more of the same every day.

Loving a narcissist is the hardest. When you choose to get into a relationship with a narcissist, you do so under the assumption that they care about you, that they want to protect you, and keep you safe.

Attraction

This is where most people find themselves attracted. Narcissists are some of the most cruel people around—and you should never be nice—they’re just cruel.

Related : 11 Famous Narcissistic Leaders in History

When you find yourself attracted, it’s usually because they’ve used their charm.

There’s something magnetic about them. Their energy draws you in and makes you feel like you want more and more of them.

What Narcissists Do to You

It destroys you.

It makes you lose yourself.

It makes you not really know what each day will look like or feel like.

It blames yourself.

It makes you think that’s all you deserve.

It stops you from believing that your opinions or ideas matter or are even valid.

I’m not saying any of this lightly, by the way. The power a narcissist can have over your entire life is a power you’ll never be able to understand unless you’ve been through it.

But make no mistake — their intent is to destroy you.

They don’t care what it takes.

Surviving: What Can You Do?

There are ways you can survive a narcissist, but for many people who aren’t aware of narcissism — it can take years.

When you have nothing left in your self-esteem bank, you’ll need to earn it back before you can spend it on yourself.

Here’s how.

1 Learn, Learn, Learn

Learn what narcissism is. Learn the types of people they are. Learn that none of this is your fault. Learn what drew you to narcissists. Learn the damage they cause. Learn how to heal.

You can’t do this with half a heart.

2 Take care of yourself

The moment you think you don’t matter is the moment you surrender indefinitely to the narcissist. Not just the person in your current life, but all narcissists.

To survive with them, you have to discover them. To discover them, you have to know them. To know them, you have to know yourself.

And knowing yourself means taking care of your own needs.

3 Know Your Worth

A narcissist will tell you—directly and indirectly—how worthless you are.

I don’t want you to believe a word they say. While I don’t know you personally, I need you to understand how toxic this is a tactic that narcissists everywhere use to crush you.

Your worth is not determined by anyone else.

4 Know Your Reality

Stay in your own reality!

I can’t stress this enough. Your reality is what you experience, think, notice, and feel. If these elements of your life are going to be changed by the narcissist, you need to have a difficult conversation with yourself.

5 See Your Future in Color

It is possible to get out of a narcissistic relationship and thrive in a colorful future.

No victim should live a life of debilitating fear and anxiety.

Related : Why Are Narcissistic Husbands Such a Bully? Why Do They Treat You Like a Child?

Does it take a lot of work? Yes, it does.

I believe that each and every one of you is capable of doing this.

6 Connect with Others

Connecting with trusted family members and friends who can help you validate your experiences with the narcissist, and make sense of everything with you is where you can begin to find yourself.

Surviving a narcissist can be hard work, but with loved ones to help you along the way, you will remember who you are and what you stand for.

7 Professional Help

There is no shame in asking for help. Therapists are more trained in narcissism than ever before, and you can easily find the right person for you.

Whether your treatment path is trauma, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or general talk therapy – you’ll find an approach that works for you, if that’s what you’re looking for.

8 Most importantly…

Give yourself the gift of time. It’s going to pass anyway, so it might be better to spend it wisely on yourself than to waste it.

If you can find time to entertain yourself and survive the narcissist, you’ll find that your priorities shift from trying to please them to definitely pleasing yourself.