Marriage should be a partnership, a union of mutual respect, love, and support.
However, when you’re married to a narcissistic husband, it can feel like a daily battle.
Constant bullying, demeaning comments, and annoying power dynamics can leave you feeling less like a wife and more like a defenseless child.
Why do narcissistic husbands behave this way? The answer lies deep within a complex matrix of control, superiority complex, and manipulation, creating an emotional battleground ripe for their bullying tactics.
WhyDoNarcissistsTreatYouLikeAChild?
Do you sometimes feel like your narcissistic husband treats you like a little child? Wondering why?
Let’s explore the reasons behind this twisted “parent-child” game that narcissists love to play.
- Puppet Masters
Narcissists are like puppet masters. They love control. Treating you like a child is their way of pulling the strings—turning you into a puppet that dances according to their every whim.
- The Know-It-All
Narcissists wear a giant “I’m better than you” sticker on their forehead. They want you to see how smart and important they are, how superior they are to your choices, and how their decisions seem like the only right ones.
- A Miniature World of Contempt
Do you ever feel like Alice in a narcissist’s Wonderland, struggling to be heard? That’s what they play at the contempt game. They like to pretend that your feelings are insignificant, all to make you rely on them even more.
- Empathy? What is it?
Narcissists often miss basic empathy lessons—they’re not good at understanding what other people are feeling. The result? They end up treating everyone, including you, like children who don’t know any better.
- Scaredy Kittens in Disguise
Behind all this confident facade, narcissists are often deeply insecure. They fear being ignored or abandoned. So, they keep you close like a child clinging to their parents, ensuring that they are never left alone.
Remember, recognizing these behaviors is the first step to breaking free from the chains of a narcissistic relationship.
If you feel like you are the “child” in a “parent-child” relationship imposed on your husband, wait for tips on how to deal with this below in this article.
Why are narcissistic husbands so controlling?
Do you sometimes feel like you are pulling the short straw in your marriage, and are constantly being bullied by your narcissistic husband?
Let’s uncover why narcissistic husbands turn into the playground bullies we all fear:
- Control freaks
Just like school playground bullies dominate, narcissists also want to control their surroundings. And the sad truth? Bullying is their preferred strategy to maintain the power of their power games.
- You Can’t Feel Your Pain
It’s hard to understand, but narcissists are missing the empathy train. They don’t realize how their hurtful actions affect you, and they continue on their bullying spree, oblivious to the emotional wounds they’re inflicting on you.
- King of the Hill
Being “the best” is a magic potion for narcissists. Their sense of entitlement is so high, bullying becomes their ladder to appearing higher than the rest of the world.
- Fearful Lions
Inside every narcissist, there’s a little lion cub, scared and unsure. Fearing criticism or rejection, they wear the mask of a fearsome, domineering lion to hide their fears and maintain their “tough” image.
- Puppet Master
Unfortunately, narcissists are the puppeteers. They pull the strings of bullying, manipulating others around them into submission or meeting their demands.
Living with a bully isn’t just hard—it’s exhausting. But remember, you’re not alone.
Setting boundaries, asking for help, and considering treatment can be powerful tools for navigating this difficult journey. Here, we’ll walk with you every step of the way.
Why Does Your Narcissistic Husband Always Threaten You With Divorce?
Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, dreading the “D” word your narcissistic husband keeps uttering? Let’s break down why these couples love to wave the divorce card in your face:
- The Power Card
Teasing out a divorce isn’t always about ending the marriage; sometimes, it’s a subtle power play. Narcissists love this card—it’s their trump card to keep you off balance and insecure, and to keep their control intact.
- Emotional Fishing
Narcissistic husbands are master hunters—they throw around the threat of divorce to catch a flood of emotions. They tap into your feelings of fear and despair, and once again enjoy the spotlight.
- “My Way or the Highway”
Do you disagree with the narcissist? You may hear the dreaded “D” word. These couples use the threat of divorce as a steaming cup of punishment when you dare to challenge their rules.
- Avoid Attachment
Narcissists aren’t good at fostering deep emotional connections. So, they wave the divorce flag, creating a smokescreen to cover up their emotional shortcomings and avoid intimacy.
- Watch out!
Narcissists are like knights in brittle armor – they are extremely sensitive to criticism. And their version of a spiked armor is? You guessed it – threatening divorce to fend off threats to their ego.
Living with these threats can be an emotional rollercoaster. Remember, you are not alone – find supportive friends, set boundaries, and consider professional help that can be your lifeboat in this stormy sea. We are here, ready to throw you a lifeline whenever you need it.
Why Does My Narcissistic Husband Call Me a Narcissist?
Your narcissistic husband has called you a narcissist, and you wonder why?
It’s a classic game narcissists play. Here’s why they might point the finger at you for narcissism:
- The Projection Game
Imagine your husband as a movie projector and his narcissism as the movie. Instead of playing the movie on his own screen, he directs it to yours.
This clever trick helps him avoid facing his own failures while making you the “star” of his narcissistic show.
- Mastering Manipulation
Your narcissistic husband may play a round of “blame the other.” Calling you a narcissist can be a devious tactic to get you to doubt yourself or justify his selfish actions.
- Smoke and Mirrors
A narcissist is a master magician, making his problems disappear with the mere wave of the “you’re the narcissist” wand.
It’s a clever way to divert attention away from his behavior while confusing you.
- The Victim Card
Have you noticed how much your husband loves to play the victim?
By portraying you as the narcissist, he’s putting on the mantle of victim, allowing him to control the relationship while portraying you as the “bad guy.”
Don’t let these tactics drag you down. When dealing with a narcissist, remember that their words often speak volumes about their problems, not yours.
Seek support and stick to your truth because this journey may be difficult, but trust me, you can do it!
When Your Narcissistic Husband Tries to Turn Your Family Against You
Do you feel like your narcissistic husband is playing a twisted game of “divide and conquer” with your family?
Let’s shine a light on the shadows and explore why they do it:
- Puppetmasters of Control
Isolating you from your family is a cunning way for narcissists to control you. With your cheerleading squad out of sight, you’re more likely to dance to their tunes—exactly what they want!
- Smearing Your Image
Have you ever felt like a narcissist is painting you in the wrong light?
They often run smear campaigns, spitting negative or twisted stories about you to your family.
Their goal? To undermine your credibility and make their bad behavior seem invisible.
- Playing the Wounded Puppy
Narcissists love the sympathy card. They’ll convince your family that they’re the wronged puppy who’s hurting you, driving you further into isolation while they revel in all the undeserved sympathy.
- Power Up
The more alone you feel, the more power the narcissist has over you. Their “divide and conquer” tactic with your family tilts the balance of power in their favor.
- Master of Transference
Turning your family against you is like a magician’s trick that makes everyone look the wrong way.
Instead of focusing on the narcissist’s behavior, your family examines your own!
So what’s next? How do you handle this difficult situation?
- Stay Calm and Talk
Try having a heart-to-heart conversation with your family members—tell them your side of the story without getting too heated.
They may not jump on your side right away, but it’s a step toward planting the seeds of truth.
- Don’t Show Your Cards
When talking to your family (or your spouse), make sure to keep your emotions in check. The less you react, the fewer sparks that could ignite a war.
- Seek Professionals
Therapists can play a big role here. Understand the neutral space you need to vent your frustrations, and they can provide you with techniques to deal with this manipulation directly.
- Gather your army
Surround yourself with supportive friends, join a group with similar experiences, or seek solace in online communities. This alternative support system can help ease your emotional struggles.
- Draw the line
Don’t let yourself be exploited. Make it clear to your spouse that certain behaviors will not be tolerated, including manipulative games with your family.
- Look, learn, and listen
Encourage your family to learn more about narcissistic behaviors. A little knowledge can help them spot manipulative tactics sooner.
- Group therapy, perhaps?
If your family is open-minded, consider group therapy. A professional mediator can ensure that everyone is heard, and foster understanding and resolution.
Remember that confronting emotional manipulation can be a difficult road, but there is always professional help and community support.
When Your Narcissistic Husband Ruins Special Occasions
Do you feel like your narcissistic husband turns into a party pooper every time a special day comes around? So why does he seem determined to ruin your celebration?
- The Olympics of the Light
Narcissists and the light? They are inseparable. Stealing the spotlight from anyone, even on their special day, is their game plan, with chaos and drama as their preferred tools.
- Control Freaks Play
Imagine there is a puppet pulling the strings during your celebration, making the day’s joy revolve around them.
That’s a narcissist holding the joystick, turning your special occasion into a “narcissistic show.”
- Green-Eyed Monsters
Jealousy and envy can be constant companions to a narcissist. If your special moments call for praise or attention, these green-eyed monsters are driven to destroy what they can’t stand – someone else being the center of attraction.
- Empathy Dryness
Connecting to someone else’s happiness is not a narcissist’s strong suit. They simply dominate your celebratory feelings because the joy buzzing in the air doesn’t resonate with them.
- Emotional Spiral
Creating a vortex of drama during your private moments allows their emotions to pull you in—reinforcing their role as the “main event.”
But remember, if your husband exhibits these behaviors on a regular basis, it could be emotional abuse. Look around you, lean on your support network, and don’t be shy about seeking professional help. Together, we can help you weather these party storms, we promise!
How to Deal with a Narcissistic Husband?
There’s no doubt that dealing with the challenges of living with a narcissistic husband is difficult.
This has been my focus for many years now, and I believe that everyone has the strength to face this task. Here’s my advice based on years of experience:
Take Care of Yourself
First, take care of yourself. Self-care is an essential step in dealing with any problematic relationship, especially with a narcissist.
It’s important to take care of your mental and physical health. This might include setting aside time each day to do something you enjoy or that helps you relax.
This could be reading a book, taking a walk, meditating, or drawing—anything that rejuvenates your spirit.
Educate Yourself
Second, I suggest educating yourself about narcissism. Understanding this personality disorder can help you deal with the challenging behaviors of a narcissistic husband more effectively.
Read trusted resources (like this site), join support groups, or talk to mental health professionals.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are also important. In my experience, setting and maintaining boundaries is vital to managing life with a narcissist. Boundaries protect you and your emotional health.
They clearly define what behavior is acceptable and unacceptable and help stop perpetuating harmful patterns.
ProfessionalHelp
Next, consider seeking professional help. Therapists who are knowledgeable about narcissistic behavior can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.
They can also provide a safe space to express your feelings and concerns.
TrustYourself
I would also advise you to be patient with yourself. It’s important to remember that you don’t need all the answers and that feeling confused, frustrated, or hurt is normal.
Be kind to yourself, honor your feelings, and give yourself time.
Resilience
Finally, and most importantly, believe in your resilience. Going through this difficult journey can make you feel weak, but remember that you are stronger than you think.
You can rebuild your resilience and rediscover your happiness day by day. You are not alone in this. Never forget that.