Working with a narcissist is not easy. A narcissistic coworker is prone to manipulation, anger, passive aggression, and other immature behaviors.

They are self-absorbed and don’t necessarily care about the needs of others.

Unfortunately, you can’t always take a no-contact approach when working with a narcissist.

However, there are some basic steps you can take to protect yourself and your well-being.

In this article, I provide an engaging guide on how to spot a selfish coworker and handle difficult interactions with them.

In this article, I’ll list typical behaviors they may exhibit and provide you with valuable strategies for managing these situations while remaining professional. This will help you understand their behavior, ensuring you’re well-equipped to protect your mental health in the workplace.

13 Signs Your Coworker Has Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People with narcissistic personality disorder work in all types of industries, but they often work in public roles.

Jobs that give a sense of power or control (such as teachers, doctors, law enforcement officers, investment bankers, and lawyers) often attract narcissists.

In these roles, their selfish, narcissistic behavior is often reinforced, which can even advance their career opportunities.

Here are some common traits of narcissistic coworkers:

1 They Never Admit Their Mistakes

A classic sign of narcissism is an inability to take personal responsibility.

Narcissists rarely admit to making mistakes because in their minds, they never make mistakes.

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Even if they know they made a mistake, they often downplay or lie about it. Often, they also attribute blame to someone else.

2 They Are Extremely Sensitive to Feedback

Have you ever tried to give feedback to a narcissistic coworker? If so, there’s a good chance they didn’t receive it well.

A narcissist will always respond negatively to feedback, whether by arguing with you, pretending to hear you out (but secretly being angry), or desperately trying to prove you wrong.

This is because, despite how they present themselves to the outside world, narcissists have extremely fragile and low self-esteem. Their mental health depends on how validated they feel by others.

3 They Seem to Lack Empathy for Others

Narcissists often act detached, uncomfortable, or disgusted when others show their emotions.

This is because they have little or no empathy when someone else is struggling. They also hate being the center of attention.

Unfortunately, this empathy problem also explains why narcissists do so well at work.

They can be brutal in their dealings and seem to have no problem throwing others under the bus to get what they want. They will stab their “friends” in the back if it means it might benefit them.

4 They act “fake” in front of clients or other coworkers

Narcissists also thrive in the workplace because they know how and when to use their charm.

For example, they may be very friendly with some employees while being harsh with others.

Narcissists can be many things, but they are not generally stupid. They pay close attention to others and know how and when to change their behavior to conform to certain expectations.

5 They get angry when others ignore the rules (but they also believe they are above the rules)

Narcissists have a know-it-all attitude and believe they deserve special treatment.

As such, they often assume that the rules don’t apply to them. However, they have no problem enforcing boundaries and expectations on others.

For example, narcissists may react aggressively if they discover someone stealing from the company.

But they may justify taking company supplies or taking care of personal business during work hours. This is a form of cognitive dissonance, and narcissists are full of dissonance.

6 They’re always critical or pessimistic

A narcissistic coworker never seems to stop complaining. At work, they’re sarcastic and sometimes whiny.

There’s always some problem, and there’s a good chance they want sympathy from others about their struggles.

7 Their sarcasm is cruel

Narcissistic coworkers often make fun of others “jokingly.” But they rarely admit it.

If someone criticizes them for this behavior, they tend to respond defensively or with a manipulative response like, “I was just kidding. You really need to tone it down. You always take everything so seriously!”

8 They Take Credit for Every Success

Workplace narcissists believe that they alone make the company successful.

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When good things happen, they like to take credit for it. This is true even if they had nothing to do with the project!

9 They Interrupt Constantly

Have you ever noticed that your narcissistic coworker never waits for someone to finish a sentence?

This is because they are always preoccupied with their own feelings and self-importance.

When an idea comes to them, they rush to share it too—even if it means interfering in someone else’s business.

10 They Always Talk About Themselves

No matter what the topic, narcissists will always turn the discussion back to themselves.

If you’re talking about a frustrating interaction with a client, they’ll quickly overtake you to talk about a terrible conversation they had with another client earlier that day.

Or if you thank another coworker for bringing cookies, they’ll talk about every detail of their strict diet.

11 They act like they’re above certain people or tasks

Narcissists don’t like doing anything they think is beneath them. This is why some actually struggle to hold down their jobs.

Because they tend to feel entitled, they often look down on tasks that seem “unproductive” or “boring.”

And if they do stick with one job, they’ll always make a big fuss about how much they’re bothered by completing certain tasks.

12 They only talk to you when they need help or want something

Some narcissists are relatively isolated at work. They may be shy or withdrawn (especially if they’re more of a reverse narcissist).

But when they do reach out to build relationships with others, it’s only because they need something. It’s not just talking for the sake of talking.

13 They gossip to get along

Start paying attention to how your narcissistic coworker interacts with other coworkers.

You will notice that they chatter freely and without concern for the consequences. They love any opportunity to pit people against each other, and often get a high from creating drama in the workplace.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Coworker?

If you suspect that a coworker is a narcissist, protecting your own safety and emotional well-being is vital.

A narcissist’s energy can be exhausting – you may feel increasingly frustrated and upset by their behavior.

Here are some of the best tips for dealing with a narcissist at work:

Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse refers to patterns of hostility, manipulation, and other inappropriate behaviors.

While mood swings may seem irregular, there’s a good chance that you’ll start to spot common patterns over time.

Related : 9 Signs You Are Dating A Narcissist

All narcissists have their own anger triggers – being aware of them can help you feel prepared for what to expect.

Don’t take their behavior personally

While your coworker’s behavior is frustrating, taking any of their narcissistic traits personally will only make you feel worse.

Personality disorders are complex and rooted in long-standing childhood patterns – this person’s behavior isn’t about you. It’s about how they’re used to interacting with the world.

Set Clear Boundaries

You don’t have to put up with your coworker’s abuse. It’s important to set clear expectations about what is and isn’t acceptable in your professional relationship.

You may need to reinforce these boundaries more often. Boundaries can be as simple as saying, “I won’t put up with gossip,” or, “I’ll eat lunch alone today, thank you.”

Talk to Your Boss or Human Resources

You may need to escalate the conversation if your coworker refuses to respect your healthy boundaries — or if they continue to act unethically or problematically.

When you do, it’s important to remain calm and collected. Stick to the facts about what’s happening without directly insulting your coworker.

Unfortunately, management isn’t always well-prepared to deal with narcissism in the workplace.

Sometimes the narcissist is smart enough to use their charm to lead. Sometimes, your boss is the narcissist.

Don’t Gossip About Them

Even if it’s tempting, avoid badmouthing your narcissistic coworker. Gossip has a way of negatively impacting professional settings, and you may never know which coworkers are on the narcissist’s side.

Don’t even engage with a narcissist who wants to gossip with you. If they start talking about someone else, quickly acknowledge it and then deflect with a statement like, “Hmm. Interesting that you’re thinking that way. I have to get back to work now.”

Limit Your Conversations

One of the best ways to deal with a narcissist is to make yourself as boring as possible.

Narcissists gain control when they learn about someone’s vulnerabilities or secrets. Never admit to any difficulties in your work. You never know when they might turn that information against you.

Avoid sharing personal information about yourself

As much as possible, focus on remaining professional in the workplace. Remember, narcissists tend to be masters of manipulation, and it’s not uncommon for them to try to love bombard other employees to gain a sense of closeness.

The narcissist will want access to your personal life — they can use this later to discredit or humiliate you if necessary.

Document problematic behaviors

If things start to escalate with your coworker, start writing down what happened.

Include as much objective information as possible, including the time, date, behavior, and any witnesses.

Don’t include subjective details, such as how they made you feel. Focus on the facts and save the information in case you need to prove it later.

Accept that narcissists don’t change (generally)

Narcissists can seek treatment and improve if they learn how to deal with their emotions productively. But their self-image and inflated sense of entitlement often make it difficult to even recognize that they have a problem at all.

It’s important to remember, however, that change may not be possible. Your narcissistic coworker is who they are.

If things get bad and no one is doing anything about it, it may be worth evaluating whether you need to switch roles or move on to a new job. Your mental health is more important than any career.

How to Outsmart a Narcissist at Work?

The most important thing you can do when dealing with narcissists is to avoid playing their mind games. Don’t even draw attention to what they’re doing—disengage completely.

Ironically, don’t aim to “outsmart” a narcissist. Most narcissists love attention, even when it’s negative, and if they feel like you’re trying to trick them, they’ll double down on their efforts.

This becomes exhausting for you and can spiral into more problems.

How to Disarm a Narcissistic Coworker?

Don’t let them see that their behavior bothers you or even annoys you. Stay as calm as possible.

Narcissists get annoyed when they realize they can’t get someone to get angry.

At the same time, please don’t succumb to their charm either. The goal is to remain as neutral as possible.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Employee at Work?

Make sure to focus on the work and not pay attention to the narcissist’s behavior as much as possible. Limit your interactions.

When you do speak, be professional and focus on the work itself. Take your emotions out of the conversations as much as possible.

If you need to alert management to what is happening, stick to the facts.

How Do Narcissists Treat Their Coworkers?

It depends. Narcissists are constantly looking for potential threats. At the same time, they are also looking to identify who can take advantage of their ego or act as a source of narcissistic supply.

So, their behavior changes based on what they think someone can offer them.

Narcissists will work hard to win over managers if they are not in leadership roles.

They generally compete for these types of jobs. They also try to belittle people who appear to be weaker or less capable than them.

But there are no hard and fast rules, and it’s common for narcissists to change their tactics to keep people on their toes.