You’ve joined your colleagues for an after-work drink, and as the night progresses, your narcissistic boss’s behavior becomes increasingly unbearable.

He keeps bragging about his accomplishments, interrupting people, and making tactless, hurtful, and inappropriate remarks.

If you’ve been to a lot of bars, you’ve probably noticed that alcohol brings out the narcissist in everyone and tends to amplify the most disturbing traits of narcissists.

Can alcoholism lead to narcissism? Sort of. When we drink, our inhibitions melt away, and we start to believe that we’re the most attractive, fun, and intelligent person in the room.

We talk loudly, interrupt people, and generally act as if no one else’s feelings matter. In other words, we think and act like a narcissist.

When a narcissist gets drunk, a situation can quickly deteriorate as their grandiose behavior becomes increasingly exaggerated.

They may become bossy or even threatening. On the other hand, their mask may start to slip, giving you a glimpse into the vulnerable inner self hiding behind the narcissist’s mask.

In this article, I want to explore the relationship between narcissists and alcohol, examining why they drink and how alcohol affects their behavior.

Do narcissists have problems with alcohol?

Not all narcissists have problems with alcohol, but it’s not uncommon for people with personality disorders to have problems with alcohol.

Related : How To Spot A Narcissistic Doctor Beneath The White Coat?

The National Institute of Mental Health states that 22.6% of people with a personality disorder may also have substance abuse problems.

Another study published in 2018 found that grandiose and vulnerable narcissism were positive predictors of alcohol-related problems, although the way these two groups used alcohol differed, as did their ability to assess their alcohol consumption and the problems it caused.

For example, a grandiose narcissist is more likely to view the consequences of drinking too much alcohol, such as getting into fights or suffering from severe hangovers, as positive because they secure social status and admiration from their peers. Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, tend to be more realistic about alcohol-related problems, such as passing out or feeling sick, and are more willing to discuss them.

Why Do Narcissists Drink Alcohol?

When discussing the relationship between narcissism and alcoholism, it is helpful to divide narcissists into two distinct groups.

Grandiose narcissists have an inflated sense of self, an unshakable belief in their own superiority, and a lack of empathy for those around them.

Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, suffer from underlying feelings of insecurity, hypersensitivity to criticism, and fragile self-esteem.

They tend to exhibit more passive-aggressive behaviors, self-pity, and a victim mentality.

However, beneath their humble exterior, they still prioritize their own needs and desires over others and struggle with empathy and genuine emotional connection.

These distinctions influence why narcissists drink.

A grandiose narcissist may drink to show off and gain admiration from their peers, while a vulnerable narcissist may use alcohol as a coping mechanism to overcome insecurities.

Vulnerable narcissists are likely to drink alcohol to:

Cope with insecurities

Alcohol can temporarily dull a vulnerable narcissist’s feelings of inadequacy, giving them a false sense of confidence that negates their nagging self-doubt.

Regulate Their Emotions

Vulnerable narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism and may turn to alcohol to numb emotional pain and create a temporary buffer against negative feelings.

Combat Social Anxiety

Alcohol acts as a lubricant, making a vulnerable narcissist feel more comfortable in social situations that might otherwise seem overwhelming.

Self-Medication

Vulnerable narcissists often suffer from depression and anxiety, which alcohol can help alleviate, at least in the short term.

So they may use alcohol as a form of medication to deal with those negative feelings.

Gain Validation and Attention

Like grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists crave validation and attention.

Alcohol can provide a temporary sense of attention or admiration, which is particularly appealing to individuals who have a basic sense of emotional deprivation.

Grandiose narcissists may drink for similar reasons but are more likely to turn to alcohol to:

Gain respect

Narcissists care deeply about their image and how others perceive them.

Drinking alcohol may be a way for them to project a carefree, fun-loving image, which reinforces their grandiose self-image.

Related : How to Choose the Perfect Gifts for Narcissists?

They may also gain respect for their ability to consume more than others or for their willingness to engage in risky behaviors while intoxicated.

Gain control and dominance

Narcissists are often driven by a need for power and control. When intoxicated, they may use alcohol to dominate others, manipulate situations, or maintain a sense of superiority.

Recommended reading: What Happens When a Narcissist Loses Control?

Lowering Inhibitions

Alcohol lowers inhibitions, making it easier for narcissists to act on their desires and impulses without feeling constrained by social norms or consequences. This can lead to more grandiose, attention-seeking behaviors.

Improve Their Image

Grandiose narcissists are deeply concerned with their self-image and how others perceive them.

They may use alcohol to feel more confident, charming, and socially adept, in line with their belief in superiority.

Dry Drinkers and Narcissism

A dry drinker has stopped drinking but has not yet dealt with the issues that led to their alcohol addiction. They have not yet faced the shame, guilt, or past trauma that led them to alcohol in the first place, and are therefore at risk for relapse.

Some of the behaviors that dry drinkers exhibit are very similar to those seen in people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

For example, they tend to show a lack of empathy and are prone to anger, irritability, and impulsive outbursts.

Dry drunk individuals may also exhibit narcissistic behaviors as they struggle to deal with unresolved emotional issues and challenges.

They also tend to avoid true self-reflection, shift blame onto others, and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

A narcissist trying to recover from alcoholism or alcohol use disorder may struggle with their inability to empathize and take responsibility for past behaviors, making them more likely to end up as a dry drunk than to successfully complete the recovery process.

Are all narcissists alcoholics?

Not all narcissists are alcoholics, nor are all alcoholics narcissists, although alcoholism often causes people to develop narcissistic traits, such as arrogance, self-absorption, and a lack of empathy.

Likewise, people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies are more likely to develop alcoholism for the reasons explored earlier.

Are most narcissists alcoholics?

While there are no statistics on what percentage of narcissists suffer from alcoholism, experts believe there is a link between the two conditions.

This should come as no surprise when you consider why people turn to drinking.

A 2020 survey by Recovery Village found that those who were at risk for alcoholism and sought to stop drinking primarily used alcohol to cope with stress, relieve mental health symptoms such as depression and anxiety, cope socially, or simply to get bored.

All of these factors increase the likelihood that a narcissist will develop an alcohol problem.

Why Narcissists Are at Risk for Alcoholism

Research suggests that narcissists experience more stress than non-narcissists, perhaps because they are actually more insecure.

Studies show that “narcissists have higher levels of cortisol and cardiovascular responses to socially threatening situations” and experience more stress.

Related : Will a Narcissist Come Back After Dumping You?

They rely on others to validate them; if they don’t, their entire world falls apart—an experience that leads them to find solace at the bottom of a bottle.

In addition, narcissists may be more prone to feelings of depression and anxiety, with studies suggesting that “about 29% of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) also have a mood disorder.”

Narcissists rely on the praise and attention of others, and when they fail to secure this, they experience symptoms of depression such as shyness and isolation, which they seek to drown out with alcohol.

Another reason narcissists are vulnerable to alcoholism is their desire to fit in or stand out in social situations.

Alcohol helps narcissists overcome their deep insecurities and gain confidence, which increases the likelihood that they will have problems with alcohol later on.

Narcissists are notorious for their inability to deal with boredom. The experience of having nothing to do, and no one to impress, fills them with fear because it brings with it the risk of self-reflection.

They will do anything to avoid examining their inner selves, even if it means drinking so much that it harms their lives.

Another reason narcissists are vulnerable to alcoholism is their belief that they are immune to its negative effects.

Narcissists believe that they are better than everyone else and even that they are not affected by the effects of alcohol because of their inherent superiority.

How do narcissists behave when they drink?

How narcissists behave when they drink depends on the individual and the person they are with.

If they’ve just started dating a new partner and are still in the love bombing phase, they’re likely to become more vocal about their love and admiration for this ideal person.

However, if they’ve already moved into the devaluation phase, they may become aggressive or even violent.

Some of the most common behaviors you’ll see in a drinking narcissist include:

Bragging

Under the influence of alcohol, the narcissist’s inflated sense of self-importance becomes more pronounced.

The more they drink, the more they’ll brag about their accomplishments, talents, and conquests, interrupting conversations to draw attention to themselves and exaggerating their stories to make them seem more impressive.

Attention Seeking

During a drinking binge, the narcissist may begin to make up stories to gain the attention and sympathy of those around them.

They’ll invent stories about victims or exaggerate minor issues to gain validation and emotional support while using their state of intoxication to justify their behavior.

Flirting

When drunk, a narcissist may use their charm to seduce individuals, push boundaries, and engage in risky behaviors to satisfy their need for attention and excitement.

They may also engage in casual sexual encounters, without regard to the impact this may have on others, particularly their latest conquests.

Aggression

Because alcohol impairs judgment, a narcissist’s basic need for control and power can escalate into full-scale aggression.

Related : How A Narcissist Broke My Heart

They may become irritable, confrontational, and controlling, verbally attacking anyone who challenges their views or refuses to comply with their demands.

Does Alcohol Make Narcissistic Behavior Worse?

Alcohol tends to bring out narcissism in everyone, even if they show very little narcissistic traits when they are fully conscious.

If someone already scores high on the narcissistic front, adding alcohol will only exacerbate these narcissistic traits, making their behavior more grandiose, controlling, and attention-seeking than usual.

Furthermore, because alcohol lowers inhibitions, it can exacerbate other narcissistic behaviors, such as increased self-absorption, denial, delusions of grandeur, and destructive tendencies.

Do Narcissists Tell the Truth When Drunk?

As far as narcissists are concerned, they tell the truth 99% of the time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the truth matches yours.

Narcissists don’t see the world the same way the rest of us do and often confuse their feelings with facts. If they believe something is wrong, it is, and nothing can dissuade them from that truth.

Because of this skewed worldview, narcissists rarely acknowledge the truth about anyone else, and getting them drunk will not bring them any closer to doing so.

According to some of my clients who have experience with alcoholic narcissists, they may tell selective truths when they are drunk and even reveal some of their own hidden insecurities.

But they are unlikely to reveal the full, unadulterated truth, no matter how much they drink.