Narcissistic rage is a cycle of intense anger, aggression, and manipulative behavior.

Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist feels out of control or feels like they are losing power.

Their anger can come on quickly or gradually. Although it often seems unpredictable, some people can spot patterns within the narcissistic rage cycle.

An angry narcissist is mindless and focused solely on protecting their ego. They will do whatever it takes to reestablish a sense of security for themselves, even at the expense of others.

This article will discuss what triggers narcissistic rage, common examples of narcissistic rage, and how you should respond if you feel caught in the crossfire.

What is narcissistic rage?

Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist faces a real or perceived threat to their self-image.

When confronted with their behavior (or their false self), they have no defense.

Because they cannot easily control their emotions, they lash out at themselves or lash out at others.

Narcissistic rage comes in many forms, but angry outbursts are the most common reaction.

When a narcissist’s inflated sense of self-worth is attacked, they project their fear, shame, or guilt onto others. They often become resentful in their efforts to “be right” or “win” a situation.

Signs of Narcissistic Rage

What does narcissistic rage look like? There is no one picture. Narcissistic rage comes in many forms, including any type of physical or verbal abuse.

Sometimes it doesn’t even look like outright rage—this type of rage can look like intense jealousy, controlling behavior, shame spirals, or even intense sadness.

Sudden Withdrawal

The silent treatment is a typical sign of passive narcissistic rage. You can tell something is wrong, but you may not know what it is, and the narcissist won’t give you the satisfaction of telling you what’s wrong.

This type of ignoring is intentional. The narcissist wants you to feel anxious and guilty, and they seem to enjoy having you follow them around to make sure they’re okay.

Here are some of the most common signs of narcissistic rage:

Blaming You for Everything

It’s all your fault! You don’t love me. You never understand what I need. You’re the one who’s sick here!

If the narcissist is putting all the blame on you, it’s a sign that they’re in a narcissistic rage.

Related : How to React to Narcissist Triangulation Explained With Real-Life

Examples

They can’t think rationally or consider their role in their dynamic. Instead, it’s easier for them to focus on why you’re causing problems (even if you haven’t done anything wrong).

Cruel Sarcasm

Narcissists sometimes try to hide their anger by trying to be funny. This sets the perfect stage for manipulation.

If you feel offended, they can manipulate you by saying that you don’t know how to take jokes or that you always take things literally.

Threatening You

I’m not even sure I want to be with you anymore.

I need to leave the house and spend some time thinking about whether this relationship is working for me.

I’ll tell your mother who you really are.

Some narcissists will get angry by threatening to leave you, hurt you, or otherwise cause problems.

This is a way to create fear and maintain a sense of power. They want you to feel threatened, and they also want you to quickly apologize for anything they think you’ve done wrong.

Name calling or criticizing you

It can seem like a narcissist has no filter when they’re in the throes of a rage.

They’ll attack your moral character and hit you emotionally where it hurts the most.

If you’ve ever opened up about something sensitive (like mental health issues), you can expect that sensitive topic to be a target for the narcissist’s wrath.

Narcissists love to learn about other people’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses so they can exploit them later.

Self-harm or substance abuse

Some narcissists turn their narcissistic rage inward. If they are struggling with addiction (as many narcissists do), this is when they are most likely to engage in their habit.

This is how they have learned to cope with their emotional dysfunction and unstable sense of self.

This poses significant problems for their loved ones. They often feel responsible for keeping the narcissist from getting upset, and then sometimes blame themselves when a relapse occurs.

Cutting the Relationship Completely

During a moment of explosive anger, the narcissist may decide to end the relationship completely.

Sometimes they go back on their word later, but other times, this is the ultimate release.

If you pay close attention, you will see that most people with pathological narcissism have a history of unstable relationships and breakups.

Physical Aggression

Some narcissists react to their loss of control by becoming physically dangerous toward other people or things.

For example, they might throw their phone across the room if they come home to their baby crying. Or they might push their spouse after a bad phone call with their mother.

Physical aggression is always serious, and it generally escalates.

This means that even if they haven’t been physically aggressive toward you yet, there’s a good chance they’ll get to that point if provoked.

PassiveAggression

I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I’m not mad. I’m completely calm.

Many narcissists become passive aggressive when they experience narcissistic rage.

This is another way they maintain a sense of control in a situation. Instead of acknowledging their feelings or needs, they create situations where others have to guess what’s going on.

DefamingYourReputation

A narcissist may react to anger by trying to destroy your reputation. This is a form of sophisticated bullying, and the narcissist’s main goal is to convince others that you’re the bad guy.

They’ll go to your friends, family, or coworkers and complain about everything you’re doing wrong.

Sometimes, he may go online and try to discredit you virtually.

Withholding Behaviors

A narcissist may try to withhold affection, money, or other resources in a fit of anger.

This creates a particularly problematic dynamic if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who has complete control over certain areas of your life.

Related : 10 Flaunting Signs of a Somatic Narcissist

Over time, this can lead to you feeling completely dependent on the narcissist (which is always a red flag).

Self-Mocking Drama Statements

Nothing I do is right!

I’m worthless. No one loves me.

Many narcissists have a victim mentality, so they use these statements as a way to seek sympathy and validation from others.

If you save their feelings, it only reinforces the narcissistic behavior.

Narcissistic Anger vs. Normal Anger

Everyone experiences anger, but people with personality disorders often experience intense anger that affects their daily lives.

When they feel angry, it’s as if they have no control over their mood or behavior. Like a toddler, they just melt down without thinking about the consequences.

Normal anger usually has a specific, reasonable trigger. For example, someone might get angry when they discover their partner cheated on them or that they lost their job.

These are perfectly valid reasons to feel angry. In these cases, the frustration does not escalate into verbal or physical aggression.

A person with normal anger may use healthy coping skills to help them regulate their anger.

They often feel embarrassed by their actions, so they put extra effort into working through their emotions.

But narcissistic anger goes beyond normal emotional responses. When a narcissist gets angry, it’s as if they’re blinded by their own needs and emotions.

They don’t think about others. They don’t really think about the consequences of their aggressive behavior—they need to attack.

What Makes a Narcissist Angry and Angry?

A narcissist never feels confident or secure in himself. Despite acting confident, he has low self-esteem that can be threatened by seemingly any trigger.

Anger is their primary defense mechanism—it’s how they keep people close to them (because they feel afraid) while simultaneously pushing them away.

Anything can trigger a narcissist’s anger, but some common triggers include:

Being told no

• Having boundaries set
• Someone who doesn’t care much about them
• Losing something of value (a relationship, job, status)
• Someone else winning or being happy
• Being narcissistically hurt
• Being given the silent treatment
• Being criticized for their behavior

How long does a narcissistic rage last?

A narcissistic rage can last anywhere from a few minutes to several days.

In extreme cases, the rage can be nonspecific (which is often when narcissists suddenly cut off family members or other important people in their lives).

In most cases, the rage dissipates after the narcissist gets what they want.

How does a narcissist feel after an rage?

It depends on the situation. Not all rage episodes register even in a narcissist. Some narcissists will simply dismiss their reaction as completely normal, and it won’t affect them at all.

They may also be so used to their constant state of anger that they don’t realize its true impact.

Other narcissists may feel some remorse or guilt.

These feelings are usually more related to fear of certain consequences (your estrangement, their getting in trouble, their self-esteem hurt) than to actually feeling bad.