As with all romantic relationships, your time together will have its highs and lows.

However, when your boyfriend is a narcissist, the highs are so high that you feel like you’ve been transported to another world; you become so infatuated with him that you want to be with him forever.

On the other hand, he has the potential to be ruthlessly insensitive and leave you feeling completely worthless. This is the emotional rollercoaster you’re forced to endure when your partner is a narcissist.

Whether it takes weeks, months, or years, once you find the strength to leave, getting over a relationship with a narcissist is incredibly difficult. But once you’ve managed to separate yourself from the narcissist, it’s important to stay that way.

Narcissists are incredibly wonderful individuals, and they can be so loving and caring that you become addicted to that side of them.

What you don’t want is to get stuck in a relationship that ultimately isn’t good for your mental health. Here are some tips on how to get over a narcissist.

How to Get Over a Narcissistic Ex?

Once you’ve freed yourself from the clutches of a narcissist, it’s imperative that you stay that way.

I want to remind you that this is not an easy process, so to get started, you’ll need a strong support network.

1. You Need a Strong Support Network

Many women in relationships with narcissists end up isolating themselves from their family and friends.

So chances are you haven’t seen or spoken to some people in months or even years. You’ll need to reclaim your support network.

Your first step is to get back in touch with these people. You’ll need to swallow your pride because you were the one who dumped them.

In most cases, they will welcome you back with open arms; and when they do, it’s important to be honest with them about what happened and tell them how much you need their help to get over your partner.

2. No Contact with the Narcissist

If you want to get over your ex, no contact with them. This means blocking them on all platforms, phone, email, and social media.

If they are in contact with your friends and family, tell them to do the same, because once they realize they’ve been blocked, they’ll try to reach you through them.

The main purpose of no contact is to protect yourself from manipulation.

The narcissist will say all the right things to get you back, and they’ll also go back to the love bombing phase that you’ll find hard to resist.

3. Stop Justifying

Due to the volatile nature of your narcissistic partner, you’ve probably spent a lot of time justifying their behavior to justify why you’re still in the relationship.

Now that you’ve felt the pain of missing your partner, you’ll go back to the justification stage to convince yourself to come back.

Refuse to internalize these thoughts; instead, remind yourself of why you left the relationship.

4. Let go of self-blame:

Some narcissists are adept at making you feel like you’re the reason they have a bad side.

You’re bringing out the worst in them and all the suffering they put you through is your fault.

It’s essential that you change this narrative; no one deserves the treatment you endured; it’s not your fault and you deserve better.

How could you have known that he would turn against you after the love bomb stage?

You didn’t go into the relationship knowing that he would treat you this way. So, don’t feel guilty for believing his lies because it can happen to anyone.

5. Allow yourself to grieve

After breaking up with a narcissist, you’ll feel like someone has died.

According to grief expert David Kessler, there are five stages in the grieving process; For proper healing, it is important to allow yourself to go through all of these stages:

1. Denial: The shock will take over your system, and you will deny your feelings regarding the breakup. This is a survival mechanism that will eventually help you deal with your feelings during the initial stages.
2. Anger: You will feel abandoned and neglected; you will be angry at your partner for the way he treated you, and angry at yourself for allowing yourself to fall into such an abusive relationship.
3. Bargaining: You will want to go back in time and reignite the romance. You will tell yourself that if you had done things the way he wanted, you would still be together.
4. Depression: The depression stage is characterized by withdrawal from life and feeling extremely sad.
5. Acceptance: Accept that the relationship is over and he will never be a part of your life again. However, by the time you reach this stage, you will be mentally strong enough to accept these facts.

How to Deal With Missing Your Narcissistic Partner?

When it comes to dealing with missing your narcissistic ex, the worst thing you can do is try to ignore your feelings because they won’t go away; but you can manage them:

Accept that your feelings are normal

As difficult as this may be, the key is to acknowledge what you’re feeling, accept it, and move on.

It’s completely normal to miss your partner when a relationship ends.

You’ve just spent a significant portion of your life with them, and now they’re gone, so it’s normal to miss them.

Related : 8 Deceitful Narcissist Cheating Signs You Should Not Deny

As long as you don’t let your feelings dictate your actions—calling or texting them—you’ll be fine.

Turn Your Feelings Into Productivity

Instead of sitting around waiting for your ex, turn your feelings into productivity.

Is there a goal you want to accomplish? Maybe you want to go back to college or change your body.

Whatever it is, write it down, make an action plan, and start working toward it.

When you’re filling your life with important things that will make you a better person, you won’t have time to focus on your ex.

Talk to Them

Do you have a friend or family member you trust enough to talk to about your feelings?

If so, they should be your first point of contact. Set up a time, either over the phone or in person, and allow yourself to express your feelings.

If you need to cry, keep going; whatever you do, don’t keep your feelings to yourself because they will eat you up inside.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, talking about your feelings doesn’t make you weak, it helps you take control of your emotional health when you’re going through tough times.

How long does it take to get over a narcissist?

Unfortunately, there’s no time frame for getting over a narcissistic ex.

Most women have had their hearts broken more than once. But the heartbreak you feel when a relationship with a narcissist ends is the worst pain you’ll ever feel.

The person you thought was the love of your life took you to the top of Mount Everest and then mercilessly dropped you, and now you’ve hit rock bottom and picking up the broken pieces of your heart seems like an impossible task.

Many women say that even after moving on to another relationship, the narcissist will always have a special place in their hearts, and they’ll never get over it.

You’ve been on an emotional journey with your narcissistic boyfriend, and the love you feel is as strong as the hate and anger you feel toward him.

Once you release these negative emotions, you are now experiencing the grief of losing someone so close to your heart. As mentioned, the feeling is synonymous with the grieving process you go through when you lose a loved one.

Although it gets easier over time, you never recover from death; the same goes for your narcissistic ex-boyfriend, but the reality is that you may never get over him.

How to Use Self-Love to Overcome a Narcissist?

Self-love is essential when you end a relationship with a narcissist because although they love you passionately and intensely.

They also have the potential to deliver narcissistic abuse to you at the same level of intensity.

You will experience many emotions when you break up with a narcissist, one of which is low self-esteem and feeling like it was your fault that things didn’t work out.

Here are some tips on how to use self-love to overcome a narcissist.

The Power of Affirmations

Verbal abuse is one of the tactics some narcissists use to keep you attached to them. They are notorious for breaking your trust with their words by saying things like:

“My friends think you’re ugly and I’m too good for you, but I always stand up for you.”

“That’s why none of my family members like you.”

“That dress makes you look so fat; you better wear that dress.”

“I’m only talking to you this way because you don’t know how to act.”

When you hear such negativity constantly, you start to believe it. Now that you’ve gotten out of the relationship, it’s important to start healing those broken places in your soul by talking kindly to yourself.

Affirmations are powerful positive statements that you repeat; they help rewire your mind and focus on all the things you love about yourself.

You can say affirmations at any time during the day, and it’s best to get into the habit of saying them first thing in the morning and before you go to bed.

But you can also repeat them when you start hearing your negative inner voice say those familiar unkind words.

Affirmations may seem strange at first, but if you stick with them, they will become a natural part of your vocabulary. Here are some positive affirmations to get you started:

My flaws make me special and unique

I feel secure and happy with myself

I choose to believe in myself

Giving up in life is not an option for me

I don’t need validation from others

I am bold and wonderful

I am more than capable of achieving my dreams

Focus on your needs

It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

It’s not uncommon to spend so much time and energy trying to please your partner that you neglect yourself. Now that you’re out of the relationship, it’s time to focus on yourself.

Forget about everyone else and make yourself the center of attention. That means learning how to say “no.”

This simple word will keep you from taking on too much and then feeling overwhelmed by it. Make a list of the things you need emotionally, physically, and spiritually and start working on them.

Spend some time alone:

Spending time alone helps build mental resilience, and you’ll need this to ensure you don’t go back to your narcissistic ex.

Humans need social connection, it’s a biological need; however, when you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, it’s important to spend some time alone to get to know yourself again.

Research suggests that enjoying time alone is linked to lower depression, better ability to cope with stress, greater life satisfaction, and greater happiness.

Set boundaries

Once you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, chances are you’ve gotten used to someone invading your space without respecting the boundaries you’ve set. It’s time to reclaim your self-esteem.

Boundaries tell people how you want to be treated, and when they’re weak, you’re in a vulnerable position where people are more likely to take advantage of you. Reset your boundaries by following these three steps:

Make a list of behaviors you won’t tolerate from people around you.

Make a list of unfavorable treatment from others that you don’t appreciate

Make a list of the people who you feel violate your boundaries the most

Related : 10 Flaunting Signs of a Somatic Narcissist

Once you have this list, there’s no need to call everyone in your phone book and tell them your new rules. But when they do something that violates your boundaries, let them know.

FinalThoughts

Overcoming a narcissist is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

Your emotions are all over the place, you don’t know if you’re coming or going, and you can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, take it one day at a time, and learn to trust the healing process.

Learning how to overcome a narcissist takes a lot of effort on your part.

With persistence and support from your loved ones, you’ll become a whole person again and live the fulfilling life you deserve.