Empaths are often prime targets for narcissists because they are seen as an easy source of supply. How do empaths protect themselves from narcissists?
Empaths are driven by compassion; they are in tune with the energy and emotions of others. They feel deeply, and this often puts them in the role of rescuer.
Empaths fall victim to the whims of narcissists when they play the damsel in distress because they want to save them from themselves.
Unfortunately, unless the narcissist is willing to change, no amount of nurturing will set the narcissist on the road to recovery.
This is where empaths get stuck in a toxic relationship that has the potential to lead to their complete destruction.
Because empaths are so sensitive, the bond between the narcissist and the empath screams danger.
The narcissist’s charming side quickly draws the empath in, and during this love-bombing phase, the empath falls in love with the narcissist.
However, when the narcissist moves into the devaluation phase of the manipulation strategy, the empath is completely destroyed.
Getting out of a relationship with a narcissist is easier said than done, but there are plenty of ways you can protect yourself while planning your big escape.
6 Ways Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists
- Give Yourself a Break from the Relationship
As an empath, one of the most effective ways to ground yourself is to take some time alone.
This gives you the opportunity to cleanse yourself of other people’s emotions, get back in touch with your own, and reconnect with who you are.
Beware, your narcissistic partner will not like this, and they will do everything they can to keep you.
They will cry, give you the silent treatment, insult you, or whine like a stubborn child.
Don’t fall for their tactics; instead, play their game and tell them that you’re leaving for their own good.
Make it clear that as an empath, you love being able to give your partner your all. But when you’re feeling drained, you’re not at your best.
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Wherever you go, turn off your phone, disconnect from social media, and enjoy your own company.
If you don’t, your vacation will soon turn into multiple counseling sessions, as your partner will feel the need to call you multiple times a day to check in.
- Withdraw Your Supply
Do you want to get out of the relationship? Are you wondering how to get a narcissist out? Perhaps the easiest way to do this is to withdraw your supply.
Withholding compliments and meeting your partner’s needs will be difficult for you because that’s who you are; however, it is possible.
Narcissists stay in relationships only because of what they can get out of them, but once the supply is cut off, they get frustrated and move on to another relationship.
See also Are Narcissists Happy With Themselves?
Withdrawing your supply is like flushing an addict’s drugs down the toilet.
They will go right out and look for more drugs. Narcissistic supply is like a drug to a narcissist, and they can’t live without it.
Here are two of the most effective ways to cut off narcissistic supply:
ShowNoEmotions
One of the main reasons narcissists get into relationships is because they feed off other people’s emotions.
When they lash out, they like to see you frustrated, angry, or sad because it lets them know they’re in control.
Narcissists enjoy being puppet masters, and when they feel like they’re losing their grip, it terrifies them. When they push your buttons, stop getting angry, and when they give you the silent treatment, don’t get upset.
When they blame and shame you, don’t react. Narcissists lack emotional intelligence, so don’t take their behavior personally; they literally don’t know what they’re doing.
But once you stop showing emotion, you’ll regain your power.
Withdraw all the compliments
Narcissists need praise; they want you to shower them with compliments and admiration.
Deep down, narcissists are insecure and suffer from extremely low self-esteem.
The confident persona you see on display isn’t who they really are. To maintain the facade, they need people who will feed the ego of the fake persona they’ve created.
If they don’t get the admiration they crave, they’re forced to face a reality they’re not ready to accept—maybe they’re not that great after all.
When you stop showering the narcissist with verbal kisses, they will run straight into the arms of someone else who will.
- Don’t Become the Conversation
Narcissists are like politicians; they don’t answer questions. Instead, they will redirect the conversation and discuss whatever they want to talk about.
On the other hand, they are adept at asking all sorts of personal and intrusive questions.
Their curiosity is another manipulation tactic. The narcissist will get as much information from you as possible and then use it against you later.
Basically, the less you open up to the narcissist, the less ammunition they will have.
The good news is that you can avoid being an open book by changing the subject of the conversation.
For example, if they ask you what you spent your last $50 on (knowing full well that they will accuse you of mismanaging your money later in the evening),
Tell them how impressed you are with their ability to save, then ask them for some tips on how to save more money.
This way, you kill two birds with one stone. Not only are you avoiding the question, but you’re also giving them support by complimenting them.
Although the conversation will likely turn into a compliment fest for your narcissistic partner, at least you’ve dodged a bullet.
- Name Their Behavior
Narcissists are like children and will push boundaries to see how much they can get away with.
They want the spotlight on them at all times and one way they do this is by bringing the conversation back to themselves.
You’ll notice that if you’re talking about your day, the narcissist will interrupt you mid-sentence and start talking a lot about their day.
If you go to Greece, they go to the Maldives. If you test drive a BMW, they test drive a Bentley.
Narcissists are so controlling that most people can tolerate the pain of being ignored. But if you attack them, they will shock your partner with their very unpleasant reality.
You can say something like, “You seem to have a bad habit of interrupting me and redirecting the conversation back to you whenever I’m talking.”
Or when they pull one of their clever moves by complimenting you and insulting you in the same sentence.
Say something like, “That didn’t seem like a compliment to me.” Like a spoiled child who’s just been caught with his or her hand in the cookie jar, the narcissist will likely throw a tantrum afterward.
Don’t engage with them, just state the facts and don’t say anything else. If necessary, leave the room.
- Keep setting boundaries
Narcissists don’t know what boundaries are, and when you set them, they’ll cross the line.
For narcissists, pushing boundaries is intentional. They want to get a reaction from you.
Every time you react, it lets them know that they are still in control. But if you want to protect yourself as an empath, you need to continue setting boundaries. Here are some tips on how to do that:
Write it down: The first step is to list all the ways your partner violates your boundaries. Record how you feel each time they do it. By doing this, you get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Plus, it will ensure that you don’t miss any important details.
The narcissist will try to subdue you by doing something like threatening to deny you.
- Don’t Take the Bait
Empaths don’t like confrontation, but some narcissists do. This is one of the many ways in which empaths and narcissists are completely opposites.
In addition, narcissists are not stupid, and your partner will know that you’ve gone into protection mode because your behavior has changed. One moment you’re a passive cat, and the next you’ve turned into an aggressive tiger.
By refusing to be a foot mat, the narcissist will take this as a huge insult and will retaliate.
You can expect your partner to do things like bring up anything they think you’ve done wrong in the past.
Or they will say that you’re selfish and only thinking about your needs. As always, they want an emotional response from you.
Don’t take the bait, because the moment you do, the ball is back in their court.
Final Thoughts
Empaths are highly sensitive creatures, and it’s only natural that you want to know how empaths protect themselves.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re tired of being subjected to narcissistic abuse.
Whether it’s friends, family members, or partners, you can’t seem to escape narcissists.
Your first line of defense is to educate yourself about this condition because it’s pretty easy to spot once you understand the personality traits that are prevalent in narcissists.
When you meet someone new, look for the following red flags:
Arrogant: Narcissists believe they’re superior to others. If you’ve just started dating one, you’ll be in the love-bombing phase and everything will seem perfect. But pay attention to how they treat others; for example, you might go to a restaurant and they’ll be extremely rude to the waitress. If this happens more than once, don’t assume they’re having a bad day—run to the mountains.
