All narcissists value admiration, praise, and validation. They all struggle with or lack empathy for others, and unintentionally hurt people with their selfish actions. Malignant narcissists, on the other hand, intentionally and actively hurt others. They are more likely to use force and violence to get their needs met.

Malignant narcissists tend to lash out repeatedly without regard for how their actions affect others. They can be hostile, threatening, or downright violent. Depending on their role, they can also display extreme power. What is malignant narcissism? These 9 signs will help you spot it early and walk away.

WhatIsMalignantNarcissism?

Although there is only one fixed diagnosis for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, narcissism itself falls on a spectrum. Some people exhibit relatively mild, benign traits (think: people who love taking excessive selfies). At the extreme end, narcissistic behavior can resemble that of a sociopath.

Malignant narcissism refers to a persistent pattern of actively seeking to sabotage the happiness, self-esteem, or relationships of others. For these reasons, experts often cite malignant narcissism as the most severe subtype. There is also frequent overlap with antisocial personality disorder.

What Are the Traits of Malignant Narcissism?

Signs of malignant narcissism can range from being incredibly obvious to incredibly subtle and subtle. The types of malignant narcissism vary from person to person. Depending on the context, symptoms may ebb and flow, and they can also evolve over time. Let’s go over some classic signs of malignant narcissism.

Extreme anger (that may seem to come out of nowhere)

The person looks at them strangely. Their spouse doesn’t load the dishwasher. Their coworker makes a simple mistake during their group presentation.

• Start a smear campaign against a rival colleague.

Befriend their bosses to try to force their hand.

Make serious threats about what they will do if they don’t get the job.

Make the workplace miserable if things don’t go their way.

Tendency to interrupt and dominate conversations

When narcissists communicate with others, it’s not about fostering connection. Conversations are tools—and dialogue is about getting their needs met. Instead of a reciprocal exchange, they calculate what you can offer them.

As a result, they tend to:

Interrupt what people are saying to prove their point.

Distract and worry when others are speaking.

Monopolize the discussion by talking about their needs.

Criticize or embarrass others to get them to stop talking.

Keep in mind that these symptoms don’t apply to everyone, as not all types of malignant narcissism are created equal. Some are more callous and calculating in their interactions. They may adapt by using sophisticated manipulation tactics (charm, feigning empathy) to get close to others.

Paranoia

One of the main signs is their constant madness. In general, they tend to be very distrustful of others. They may have a rigid complex that they alone can take care of themselves. Their madness may manifest in statements such as:

Blaming Others

All narcissists try to avoid taking personal responsibility for their actions. Many of them blame others to avoid looking inward.

Related : Why Do Narcissists Have a Golden Child and Scapegoat Child?

They also blame others, even in extreme cases. For example, if they attack someone, they will blame the other person for looking at them the wrong way. They will try to project others onto themselves to avoid taking the blame.

Self-Congruent Aggression

Are they violent? Not always, but they tend to be. They often have severe anger issues coupled with poor impulse control. This recipe makes it easy for them to lash out at others, especially when they feel threatened or insulted.

However, narcissists do not honestly acknowledge or apologize for their violent behavior because they have selfish aggression. Selfish refers to core beliefs that one accepts about oneself—they feel normal, ongoing, and rational.

On the other hand, selfish refers to thoughts or impulses that trigger feelings of shame, guilt, or distress. While most people have aggressive thoughts from time to time, having a selfish mindset prevents the action.

For narcissists, their violence is usually selfish. It feels completely normal, and they do not regret it. That is why they often downplay, justify, or explicitly state their actions. For example, they might tell you that I am tricking you by saying something like this:

I wasn’t even trying to hurt you. Stop being so sensitive.

I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t have done that. You know better.

I didn’t mean it! I felt like I was backing into a corner. You shouldn’t have done that to me.

She was the one who pounced on me! It was self-defense.

Intense Competition

Malignant narcissists typically rank their own success and well-being as superior to anyone else’s. They may appear to the outside world to be extremely ambitious and successful.

Winning is their top priority, even when their pursuit of winning hurts others. When they want something, they will go to great lengths to achieve it.

In fact, most of them will not consider anything beyond leadership roles. To them, any title of subordinate is degrading and humiliating.

Their competitiveness can occur anywhere: in relationships, at work or school, and even in challenges they imagine. For example, a narcissistic mother may find herself competing with every other mother at her child’s school. She makes it her mission to make sure her daughter is the top student, even if that goal might hurt her child.

Of course, this is not a competition that anyone else is in. She has just decided that she needs to beat all the other mothers.

What is the difference between a malignant narcissist and a psychopath?

Some experts claim that there is not much difference between the two terms. There are narcissistic psychopaths, although it is important to realize that not all narcissists are psychopaths and not all psychopaths are narcissists.

Narcissistic psychopaths typically meet criteria for both narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder, a disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of:

• Aggression toward people or animals
• Legal problems due to authority issues or lack of respect for others
• A history of abusive relationships
• Pathological lying
• Lack of empathy or remorse
• Poor impulse control

Narcissism, at its core, is about the need for admiration and appreciation. Narcissists want to feel loved, and they want to feel important. All narcissistic behavior is a response to having these basic needs met. Psychopaths don’t necessarily want that validation. Instead, their darker impulses typically come from a place of intense anger. When someone (or something) triggers that anger, they explode.

What Causes Malignant Narcissism?

There is no single cause of narcissistic personality disorder. Experts believe that narcissism comes from a combination of different genetic and environmental factors.

Childhood Trauma

In almost all circumstances, a narcissist has a history of childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma can include neglect, physical abuse, and emotional abuse. Trauma can also manifest when young children need their parents’ care due to a medical or psychological issue.

Related : 6 Honest Ways to Make a Narcissist Tell the Truth

These children may grow up with a core belief that the world is unsafe and that people are bad and untrustworthy. They essentially adopt a victim-like attitude and learn to protect themselves by acting superior and powerful over others. Their inflated ego acts as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile and vulnerable selves.

Untrustworthy Parenting

A lack of parental consistency can also contribute to narcissism. All children need structure and boundaries to feel safe in the world. When they lack these needs, they may develop a complex that rules don’t matter because no one actually enforces them.

Over-Praise

Over-praising something good can be a problem when it comes to narcissism. If someone receives constant praise and validation for every accomplishment, it can reinforce their sense of grandeur. This is why many narcissists surround themselves with people who can enable them to achieve their greatness—they need this constant reassurance about their self-worth.

Chronic Rejection

A pattern of chronic rejection can make narcissists more vulnerable to malignant narcissism. Chronic rejection bruises the ego, eroding a person’s self-worth.

Some people suffer from extremely low self-esteem as a result. Malignant narcissists tend to need excessive power, control, and dominance to ensure that no one can hurt them again.

How to Take Care of Yourself if You’re With a Malignant Narcissist?

First, it’s important to remember that most narcissists don’t seek help on their own.

This is because they can’t recognize their behavior as flawed or harmful. If they do enter therapy, it’s usually for other reasons such as depression or sometimes abuse. Sometimes they seek therapy to meet other requirements such as court orders or ultimatums.

Relationships with malignant narcissists can be devastating to loved ones. This type of personality can be controlling and dangerous. While most narcissists understand that they may be causing pain to others, malignant narcissists thrive on this apparent torture.

But after they’ve abused you, they tend to quickly turn to becoming victims themselves. I’m just trying to make you a better person! I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it had to be done! This pattern often keeps victims in a constant state of fear and helplessness.

If you suspect you’re with a malignant narcissist, it’s crucial to stay safe. These narcissists rarely have much motivation to change, and your entire life could be at risk. Logic and reasoning aren’t viable solutions—instead, enforce boundaries, reach out for support, and consider a no-contact approach.