You’re tired of feeling disrespected by the narcissist in your life, and you’ve realized that arguing back and forth isn’t working.

You may decide to ignore the narcissist because you want to set boundaries in your relationship.

Or you may be so frustrated by their behavior that you need time to regroup.

In some cases, ignoring the narcissist can be a great idea, especially if you’re consistent with your boundaries. Other times, it just causes more drama and pain. This article will cover everything you need to know.

Key Takeaways from This Article:

Narcissists don’t react well to being ignored and often try to punish the person who ignored them.

Ignoring a narcissist may lead to them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing, begging for forgiveness, or tarnishing your reputation in front of others.

If you want a narcissist to go away, you must consistently and consistently ignore them, otherwise they’ll likely try to get you back into their life.

9 Things That Happen When You Ignore a Narcissist

First and foremost, narcissists do not react well to being ignored. In fact, they absolutely hate it.

Narcissists thrive on validation and attention from others. That’s how they feel powerful. Being ignored has the opposite effect. When someone doesn’t feed their ego or fulfill their narcissistic supply, they tend to feel threatened and insecure.

In many ways, being ignored is a serious personal attack. For narcissists, this is a form of punishment, and they will often try to punish you in the following ways:

1 They’ll keep trying to get your attention

Some narcissists react to being ignored by pretending it’s not happening. They’ll keep talking to you or texting you as if everything is exactly the same.

This is, of course, a very frustrating form of manipulation. For example, you’re actively trying not to talk, and they act like everything is going great!

Related : What Is Golden Child Syndrome?

This may seem confusing, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that the narcissist is just being naive.

Acting ignorant is just another way narcissists try to manipulate others into believing that they are the real victims.

2 They’ll Apologize and Beg for Forgiveness

If you’ve never ignored the narcissist before, don’t be surprised if they suddenly start begging for your forgiveness once you realize you’re not really talking to them.

This is when the narcissist is likely to try to win you over with grandiose promises. They’ll offer to go to therapy. They’ll tell you they’re finally ready for marriage or children. They’ll promise never to act this way again.

Keep in mind that these types of apologies or promises are not made out of genuine guilt. While it’s true that some narcissists do feel some remorse, they’re more concerned with self-preservation and maintaining the status quo.

Narcissists don’t change overnight, and they know how to manipulate people to get what they want. And what they want is power and control. If they need to apologize and beg for it, that’s exactly what they’ll do.

3 They’ll try to make you even angrier

Negative attention is better than no attention at all, so some narcissists will react to being ignored by doubling down on their petty behavior. They want to give you something to complain about.

If you’re upset about a certain behavior on their part, they’ll do it more often. For example, if you’re mad because they carelessly spent a lot of money at a bar last weekend, they’ll double it the following weekend.

4 They’ll fake a crisis

Suddenly their mom is in the hospital. Or they suspect their dog has cancer. Or their boss calls them in for a last-minute meeting and they might get fired.

Emergencies happen, of course, but pay attention to the timing. Narcissists pay close attention to other people’s vulnerabilities. Additionally, most of them tend to attract people who have high levels of empathy.

So, if they sense that you’ve drifted away, they may give this seemingly innocent response,

Hey, I know you’re not talking to me right now, and I totally get that, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m in the hospital. I’ve been having chest pains all night, and they don’t really know what’s going on. I’m going to get some tests done now.

Generally, these messages will be vague enough to get your attention. However, they won’t be overly detailed because a real emergency probably isn’t happening!

5 They’ll try to make you jealous

Similar to trying to make you angry, some narcissists will also try to make you jealous when you ignore them.

For example, they may pretend not to be bothered by your actions. Then they’ll go out that night, drink a lot, and post a bunch of salacious photos of themselves having fun with strangers. The hope is that you’ll see what they’re doing and feel jealous.

6 They’ll smear you

Many narcissists engage in smearing to redirect blame and even make themselves look like the victim. They want to protect their own version of what happened.

So, they’ll try to convince your friends, family, and neighbors (anyone who gives them the time of day) of how horrible you were to them. They may use some version of the truth, but they may also lie.

Smearing, of course, can be devastating, and some of the consequences can be permanent. You can’t stop a narcissist from doing this, so it’s very important to reevaluate who you trust in your life.

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s always a good idea to be careful about what you share with mutual friends. You never know how a narcissist might try to influence you.

7 They’ll Threaten You

If a narcissist feels like you’re really pulling away from them, they may try to exploit your vulnerabilities. They’ll threaten to hurt you in some way, whether it’s threatening to drag you into court (if you’re married) or taking your children away from you.

In more serious cases, they may also threaten to hurt themselves or end their own lives. The goal here is to make you feel guilty. They want you to come back to them, and they don’t want you to have anything “over them.”

8 They’ll Reach Out to Others

Narcissists often respond to being ignored by reaching out to other people in your life. They may contact your friends and family members to express their concern for your safety.

When this happens, they either downplay their own malicious role in the dynamic or avoid their involvement and focus solely on you.

For example, they might call your mom and say something like,

I’m so worried about her. She’s not talking to me right now, but I think it’s because she’s started drinking again. I just want to help, but I can’t help her if she won’t let me in. That really breaks my heart.

They’re hoping that your loved ones will reach out to you, which will make you feel guilty or obligated to respond to them again.

9 They’ll Ignore You

Many narcissists respond to being ignored by ignoring them. They don’t want to be seen as needy or emotional, so they’ll focus their efforts elsewhere in the meantime.

Related : What is the Worst Thing You Can Do to a Narcissist?

It’s very common for narcissists to cheat on their partners during periods of ignoring. It’s a way for them to prove to you (and themselves) that they don’t need the relationship.

If you want to read more about this topic, I suggest you read my article on why narcissists ignore you.

What Happens When You Ignore a Narcissist’s Text Message?

Ignoring a narcissist’s text message can be just as effective as ignoring them in real life. Texting provides narcissists with more opportunities to plot or abuse.

Then, they can simply deny their intent by claiming that you “read too much stuff.”

Here are some ways narcissists might react to being ignored via text:

Anger

I know what you’re doing. You’re acting like a __.

How dare you ignore me!

What do you think is wrong with you?

If a narcissist feels like their text messages are being ignored, they may react with a narcissistic tantrum.

Remember, narcissists like to control the narrative at all times. If someone else has the power (even if it’s very brief), they won’t tolerate being upset.

Ignoring a narcissist can really make them angry…

Anxiety

Hey, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you?

What’s going on?

Me. Can you call me?

Narcissists may also respond with anxiety when they notice you’re ignoring their text messages. This can be more common in cases of vulnerable narcissism, a type of narcissism that is more covert in nature.

These narcissists often come across as shy or insecure, but underneath this behavior is a high level of self-absorption, arrogance, passive-aggressive behavior, and an inability to accept feedback.

Anxiety is triggered by fear. Essentially, a narcissist knows something is wrong, and they want to settle things quickly to avoid being “watched.”

Obsession

Obsession is a more dramatic form of anxiety. It can look like sending you dozens of text messages in a row. It can also look like showing up at your front door because they were “so worried” that they hadn’t heard from you in a few days.

Obsession can quickly turn into stalking behavior, and narcissists will justify it under the guise of being overly concerned about you.

If you feel like a narcissist might be stalking you, it’s very important to seek support. Stand up for yourself and don’t speak to them again.

Related : 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say and What They Really Mean

If you’re trying to end the relationship completely, block them and delete them from your email and all social media accounts.

Despair

Look, I’m really sorry about what I said last night!

Baby, please text me. I love you.

Let’s just talk about this, okay? We can work this out.

Despair is a more subtle form of anxiety. The narcissist tries to use guilt tactics to convince you that he made a mistake and feels remorse about it. Even if he knows that desperation may seem pathetic, he is willing to use this angle if he has the slightest belief that it will work.