Did you just break up with your narcissistic partner and can’t stop thinking about them? You know the relationship was destructive and unhealthy, even though you might want to get back together.

You know that wouldn’t be in your best interest. So instead of cutting ties completely, you wonder if you can still be friends with your ex.

Staying friends with your narcissistic ex is something you should think carefully about because narcissists are complicated people.

You’re well aware that they mistreated you when you were together. The question is whether your ex will treat you differently now that you’re no longer together. Keep reading if you want to know how narcissists treat their exes.

CanYouBeFriendWithANarcissisticEx?

This answer depends on what kind of person you are. Here’s why… The truth is, narcissists have mental health issues. Deep down, they’re hurt souls and not the cruel, calculating people they seem to be.

You probably know this, which is why you’re thinking about staying friends with your narcissistic ex. But if you want to stay friends to help them change and become the wonderful person you know they can be, you’ll be burning all your energy into this task.

Because experts say that narcissists have dark personality traits, lack empathy, and rarely change. On the other hand, if you’re aware of this, and changing the narcissist isn’t your motivation, you just know that they need a real friend in their life, then go ahead.

But you need to know that it won’t be a normal friendship after the relationship, and you can’t give the narcissist full access to your life or they will destroy it. If you can handle the emotional rollercoaster that comes with staying friends with a narcissist, then go ahead.

Why Would a Narcissist Want to Be Friends with Their Ex?

There are several reasons why a narcissist might want to be friends with their ex, here are three of them:

A narcissist wants to keep the door open for sex

Obviously, a narcissist won’t tell you this, but eventually, they will try to sleep with you. You won’t see it coming, it will be a very strategic and calculated move, and they will wait until you are at your most vulnerable to attack.

The moment you are feeling down, the narcissist will use the stalking tactic to lure you back in. They will start being overly nice by buying you gifts, taking you out. With each interaction, they will claim that they just want to see you happy.

Related : How to Make a Narcissist Miss You & Regret Losing You?

But once the narcissist has gotten you into bed, they will ignore you, which will put you back into the same cycle of narcissistic abuse that you just escaped. If you know that you are not mentally strong enough to stay friends with a narcissist, don’t.

NarcissistWantsToControlYou

Narcissists thrive on control. When you were a couple, they enjoyed watching you ask, “How high?” After they ordered you to jump.

But now that you’re gone, the narcissist no longer has the power to control you. The only way they can get back to you is through friendship, so the narcissist will do everything possible to make that happen.

TheNarcissistWantsToPlayWithYou

Even though you’re no longer together, the narcissist wants to stay as close to you as possible to continue their reign of terror. They miss those sick games they once played with you, and the narcissist wants to keep them.

Even as a friend, they will play the same games they played when you were in a relationship like revenge, playing the victim, triangulating, and manipulating.

8 Ways Narcissists Treat Their Exes

Many narcissists don’t treat their exes well, especially when they refuse to get back together. Here are nine ways narcissists treat their exes.

1 They Hit You With a Light Punch

Hopefully, you’ve never been hit in the stomach before, so you don’t know how it feels. But basically, it’s a low, painful blow that drains your energy and can even put you out of commission for a few hours.

Well, a narcissist will hit you with a light punch, but they will do it emotionally. They will look for your biggest weakness, insecurities, or something they know will really hurt you, and they will do it with all their might.

Even if you’re no longer together, a narcissist wants you to remain broken, and they will do everything they can to bring you back to the level of imperfection they think you’re supposed to be and stay.

2 They’ll invade your space

No matter how many times you ask your ex to stop contacting you, they’ll keep showing up. They’ll text, call, email, and flood your DMs with their crap. They want to stay in touch with their exes to keep them in check.

The narcissist doesn’t care about rejection; in fact, they don’t mind it at all. The plan is to keep you within reach. As long as you respond, that’s all that matters.

3 They’ll remind you of how weak you are

One classic strategy narcissists use to keep their victims in check is to belittle them. When you were together, they’d say things like, “You can’t do anything without me.

What would you do if I wasn’t there to support you?” After hearing statements like this all the time, you eventually start to believe them, and your self-esteem suffers.

But, of course, things haven’t changed now that you’re no longer together. The only difference is that they will resort to telling you that your weaknesses are the reasons why you will never find someone who loves you as much as they do.

4 They will keep trying to sleep with you

It’s no secret that narcissists are good in bed, and they know it. One of the reasons they get away with so much abuse is because the sex is always amazing.

So you can expect your ex to start sending you sexy text messages reminding you of how great the sex was in the past.

5 They will blame you for the breakup

Regardless of who broke up with you, it was your fault. If your narcissistic ex dumped you and suddenly disappeared one day, it was because your behavior was unbearable, and he had to go.

If you left him because you couldn’t handle the cycle of abuse anymore, he only treated you that way because your actions forced him to.

Related : How To Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back?

When it comes to the blame game, you’re in a very loose position with narcissists.

6 They’ll spread lies about you

Narcissists have a reputation to uphold, and when the relationship ends, the last thing they need is for their ex to start smearing them.

So, they’ll step in first. Then, the narcissist will go to all your mutual friends, and if they’re really brave, your family members and start telling them how bad your partner is and how they’ve suffered at your hands.

Whether they think the narcissist is irrelevant or not, they’ve planted a seed of doubt so that when you tell them your side of the story, they’ll be skeptical.

7 They’ll blackmail you

When you’re in a relationship with someone and you think you can trust them, you may feel comfortable enough to send them nude photos.

When you hit send, you never thought in a million years that the photo would be used against you. But that’s one of the narcissists’ weapons of mass destruction. They’ll gather evidence against you, and when they need it, they’ll use it against you.

In this case, since you say you don’t want to be friends anymore, they will remind you that they have something against you that could destroy you.

Then, since narcissists love to use shock power, they will text you in the middle of the night with the photos and a comment that says something like, “What do you think your social media followers would think if a photo like this leaked to them?”

You won’t hear anything else after that, the narcissist will leave you to think about it for a few weeks, then call you back and ask you to stay friends. Is that creepy or what!

8 They will use verbal deception

The narcissist will assess the situation to see what direction they need to take to get back into your life.

One of the things they will do is use verbal deception to convince you that they are not the same person. Here are some phrases you can expect your narcissistic ex to say:

I’m going to see a therapist

The narcissist knows full well that he or she is crazy, and if you leave him or her, he or she knows that you know it. So to trick you into believing that the connection will never be the same if you remain friends, he or she will say that he or she is going to therapy to work on his or her issues.

Typically, people who seek professional help do so because they have a level of self-awareness that has given them insight into their mental and emotional state.

They go to a therapist because they have a genuine desire to improve their lives not only for themselves but for their friends and family members.

The narcissist has no interest in changing at all. The only reason they mention therapy is to manipulate you.

You’ll Never Find Anyone Like Me

A narcissist will try to convince you that they are the best lover you’ve ever had.

Not only were they kind, caring, giving, and compassionate, they gave you the best sex of your life. Then, in typical narcissistic fashion, the conversation will turn to how you’ll never find anyone who loves you as much as they did because you’re so flawed.

Instead, you should be grateful that someone accepts you for who you are, and how dare you think you could find someone better.

What’s wrong with being a friend?

The answer to that question is everything! A narcissist will try to convince you that there’s something wrong with you for not being a friend.

They will try to convince you that your friendship would be perfect, and maybe you didn’t work out as a lover, but you will definitely be the best of friends.

They will use this opportunity to flatter you and tell you how great you are, that they still love you, and if you can’t be a lover, they’ll just be friends. Don’t be fooled!

They will threaten suicide

After the narcissist has used every weapon of mass destruction at his disposal and nothing seems to work, he will resort to emotional blackmail.

I don’t take suicide lightly, so I would advise you to seek professional help if this happens. However, research suggests that when a person intends to commit suicide, they don’t talk about it; they just do it.

So, if your narcissistic ex calls you and threatens suicide, they are likely bluffing in the hope that you will feel so sorry for them and worry so much that they will actually do it that you will run back.

So, whether your ex is serious or not, please don’t fall for it. Instead, refer them to a counselor, and move on.

DoNarcissistsCareAboutTheirExes?

If narcissistic partners don’t care about their lovers, what makes you think they would care about their exes?

Narcissists are vultures, they want nothing from anyone other than narcissistic supply, and if you don’t provide that, you are worthless.

Related : 11 Typical Examples of Narcissist Text Messages And How to Respond

Studies show that people with narcissistic personality traits maintain contact with their exes because they have something to gain such as sex or resources such as money.

Do Narcissists Want Their Ex Back?

Yes, and not for the reasons the average person would want their ex back. There are two situations where narcissists want their ex back.

The first is if the other person left them. After years of abuse, they realized they were in a destructive relationship and hurt them, so they left. This makes narcissists angry because narcissists don’t get dumped.

They are the ones who do the dumping. But it goes much deeper than that. Narcissists are psychologically damaged people. Deep down, they feel terribly insecure and the braggadocio they display is just a mask to cover their true feelings.

So when someone leaves, what they really mean is that their true colors have been exposed. Their partner has seen through the mask, realized they are flawed and left. This is a terrible blow to the narcissist’s self-esteem, and will activate narcissistic rage.

Narcissistic rage is not like normal anger, it is an uncontrollable, unconscious desire to attack. In this scenario, they will manifest themselves by doing everything they can to force their partner back, so they can get revenge and end the relationship.

The second scenario is that the narcissist has left. Their partner has exhausted all of their narcissistic reserves and left when they no longer had anything to offer.

The only reason they would want their ex back is because they know they are an easy source of supply.

Their ex will be heartbroken, won’t understand why they left, and will be anxiously awaiting the narcissist’s call so they can get back together. The narcissist knows this and will exploit their ex’s vulnerability.

These people disappear for a few weeks and then suddenly reappear and start trying to lure their ex back. Narcissists use the ghost card because they see it as a time to recharge their ex’s energy.

They will spend this time obsessing over what they did wrong and how they can be the perfect lover when the narcissist finally returns. When the narcissist eventually returns, there is a lot of supply waiting to be given.

Do narcissists miss their exes?

Yes, but not for the same reasons that the average person misses their ex. As mentioned, narcissists only get into a relationship if there is a narcissistic supply available, and if there isn’t, they aren’t interested.

So, as far as they’re concerned, the more supply they get, the better the relationship is. They will even compare the level of supply they get from different partners.

So, after they break up with you and get into a new relationship, the narcissist may feel like the supply they get from their current partner isn’t as good as the supply they got from you.

So, the narcissist will think things like, “Finley really worshipped me like the angelic being that I am, Charlie has some work to do.” Then he’ll start calling and texting you, trying to get some of that good supply back.

Why do narcissists talk about their exes?

So they can control the narrative and make others think that their ex is the bad guy and they are the saints.

When they’re with a group of friends, a narcissist might say something like, “Wow, I can’t believe how relaxed I am now that Terry and I are no longer together. Haven’t you noticed that I was always nervous whenever I went out?

That’s because Terry was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, I would get in some kind of trouble.” Or when a narcissist enters a new relationship, as a way to control their partner, they will list all the things they didn’t like about their ex.

They might say something like, “I hated the way my ex dressed, and he never made an effort for me. I always felt self-conscious when we hung out because he was wearing nothing.”

In other words, the new partner has to look presentable at all times or there will be trouble.

Are Narcissists Jealous of Their Exes?

Everyone feels jealousy because it is a natural emotion. And like all emotions, it can be used positively or negatively.

Related ; How Do Narcissists Treat Old Supply?

As you can imagine, narcissistic jealousy tends to lean more toward the negative side of things. When a narcissist’s ex moves on to someone else and finds true, lasting happiness, the narcissist feels angry.

They will stalk your social media pages to check on your relationship progress. They will see you living the good life, going on vacations, eating at exclusive restaurants, and spending time with your new lover.

The narcissist’s jealousy will lead them to want to drag you back to the level you were when you were together. Miserable and dependent on them!

The narcissist’s jealousy may even lead them to try to sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner.

Why do narcissists only connect with certain exes?

Because narcissists only connect with people who provide narcissistic supply. When it comes to narcissists’ exes, they fall into two categories.

Either they realized they were dating a narcissist and got out of the relationship as quickly as they could and never looked back.

Or there are the exes who were dumped by the narcissist, and are still heartbroken. These exes are usually very empathetic by nature, or they are actually empathetic. Narcissists love to date empaths because they can access their emotional sea.

They are very giving and very forgiving. They are the type of people that a narcissist can control. These exes are people that a narcissist connects with because they are still under the influence of the narcissist.

A narcissist knows that once their current relationship fails, they have someone to run to who is ready and waiting for them to return.

FinalThought

If you want a stress-free life, I advise you to run away! Staying friends with your narcissistic ex is not a good idea.

You will never have any peace, you will remain in a state of perpetual uncertainty, and the narcissist will never let you move on. Narcissists are narcissists because they have dark personality traits that rarely change for the better. There are plenty of normal, healthy friendships you can seek out, and I suggest you do so.