Narcissism is often said to be an incurable disorder. Many people with depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia seek treatment for their mental health conditions, but rarely do you hear a narcissist say, “I don’t want to be a narcissist anymore.”

Those with this disorder don’t want help and are very defensive when diagnosed.

When someone with narcissistic traits goes to therapy, they use it to get more support by trying to outdo the therapist and prove their superiority.

However, not every narcissist is incurable. Some genuinely want help, and when given a safe space to be vulnerable, they will admit that they are ashamed of their actions and feel guilty for hurting others.

Narcissistic behaviors are almost always a disguise for fragile self-esteem.

If the narcissist can improve their self-esteem and devise strategies for coping with negative emotions that don’t involve devaluing others, treatment can be successful.

Change is possible for motivated individuals if they are willing to listen to professionals and learn how to recover from being a narcissist.

Before you embark on the road to recovery, you need to determine if you are a true narcissist.

We all have narcissistic tendencies at times—they are a sign of high self-esteem and confidence.

It is only when these tendencies become excessive and negatively impact those close to us that they are considered Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Here is a list of common traits and behaviors among narcissists.

Related : When a Narcissist Sees You Cry How Does He React?

As you read through them, know that almost all of them apply to everyone from time to time, so you may not notice them unless they apply to you most of the time.

1 You Believe You Deserve Only the Best

Standing up for yourself and speaking up when you don’t get what you deserve are admirable traits, but only when you are legitimately insulted.

Narcissists tend to believe that they deserve the best in life: the fastest promotions, the most attractive partners, and a group of admiring friends.

If you are constantly feeling disappointed by your lot in life, you may have some narcissistic tendencies.

2 The rules don’t apply to you

Narcissists aren’t necessarily ignorant of society’s rules and norms, but they don’t think they should follow them.

You believe you deserve better and that people need to give to you or at least get out of your way.

If you don’t feel the need to treat others the way they treat you, this is a classic sign of narcissistic personality disorder.

3 You get angry easily

A quick temper is a symptom of many mental disorders, so it’s important to focus on the specific situations that make you get so angry.

Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism and anything that hurts their self-esteem. If you find your blood boiling when someone disagrees with you or corrects you, you may be a narcissist.

4 You’re Not Very Empathetic

Do you have a hard time understanding someone else’s feelings without thinking about yourself?

Can you think about how that person is feeling without thinking about how you might feel in the same circumstances?

Narcissists have a hard time understanding that other people have unique feelings that may be different from their own.

5 You Have an Overwhelming Need for Control

Do you feel stressed whenever you lose control of a situation? Do you worry that things might go wrong and that you might look stupid or guilty for any problems that arise?

Narcissists are perfectionists and should avoid anything that tarnishes their reputation or shifts blame onto someone else.

6 You’re Frequently Jealous

Envy is normal, but when jealousy becomes so all-consuming that you can’t stand being around someone who has something better than you, that’s narcissistic personality disorder.

Related : Why Do Narcissists Ignore You?

Jealousy is often coupled with insecurity, making it feel like everyone is out to get you things that should rightfully be yours (which comes down to a sense of entitlement).

7 You’re always exaggerating

There’s a fine line between self-promotion and bragging, and it’s not always easy to walk.

Narcissists, especially those of the egotistical type, take self-promotion into the realm of exaggeration and lying to gain the admiration of others.

Covert narcissists are likely to exaggerate illnesses and personal struggles to gain sympathy. In both cases, the goal of these exaggerations is to get everyone’s attention.

8 You’re Sure You’re Special

Loving parents often tell their children that they’re special, and many children spend their entire childhood feeling that way.

But as adults, most of us realize that we’re not special in the grand scheme of things. We should be treated like everyone else.

You may have some pretty strong narcissistic tendencies if you’re still struggling with this concept.

Very few people overcome their narcissistic traits, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Most don’t overcome their narcissism because they simply don’t want to.

Unlike many other mental disorders, narcissism is not a barrier to a successful life, at least when it comes to your career. In fact, narcissistic behavior is often rewarded.

Forming lasting relationships can be extremely difficult for a narcissist, and making them successful requires that they stop engaging in self-destructive behavior patterns.

Many narcissists aren’t motivated to do so because lasting relationships don’t satisfy them. Genuine respect and admiration from one person isn’t enough for them; They need new sources of supply to feel complete.

This does not mean that they cannot change if they cannot change. The causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder range from genetic predispositions to childhood trauma, and it would be unfair to generalize the motivations of all narcissists.

Those who truly want to change can work on their negative behaviors, and unlike some other mental illnesses, medication is not required.

A self-aware narcissist can change their thoughts and behaviors with the help of therapy along with caring friends and family members.

Narcissism is not a disorder that can be cured. The underlying causes must be addressed, including repairing the narcissist’s fragile self-esteem.

Without supply, narcissists have little self-esteem. Treating Narcissistic Personality Disorder requires the narcissist to create an internal locus of control through positive self-talk and reframing situations to give themselves more agency.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is complex, and each person has different reasons for their maladaptive behaviors.

For this reason, it’s always a good idea to seek professional help for narcissism treatment; a therapist can identify the root cause and develop a tailored plan to eliminate narcissistic behaviors in the future.

However, there are some things you can work on yourself that will help limit the impact of narcissism. Change is possible, but treatment is usually a lifelong journey.

1 Create a List of Triggers

Narcissistic behavior patterns are almost always the result of a lack of self-esteem.

If a narcissist has access to an unlimited supply, they will rarely lash out. Make a list of things that make you angry. Think about things like being criticized.

Do you personally lash out at the source of that criticism? Try to understand what triggers that criticism.

Is there a painful moment in your past, and do those negative feelings come back whenever someone evaluates you and your actions in a less than wonderful way?

2 Identifying Possible Triggers

You can’t eliminate all triggers, but you can certainly reduce them.

For example, if you’re someone who can’t handle criticism, a career in entertainment or politics might not be right for you. If you’re self-conscious about your career options, attending a high school reunion might be a triggering situation.

3 Think about the behaviors you’d like to change

When someone criticizes you or unintentionally puts you down, how do you react? Do you devalue and attack them?

Think about how these reactions negatively impact your life. Would you like to change your behavior in the future?

4 Think about how you might react differently

Counting to ten may seem cliché, but putting some space between the trigger and your reaction can make a big difference.

By doing so, you’re shutting down reflexive behavior patterns and replacing them with reasonable responses that are less likely to hurt those around you.

5 Make it a habit

It’s best to avoid triggers that make you feel helpless, but at some point, you need to confront the situations that caused your negative behaviors.

You need the opportunity to practice distancing yourself from old patterns of behavior and testing out the new coping mechanisms you’ve learned.

Start small and in scenarios where you feel you have some control.

The seeds of narcissism are planted early on, when children are developing a sense of self and learning how to interact with the world.

Narcissism isn’t a disease like a cold or the flu that you can prevent yourself from getting; it’s a complex mental disorder that stems from a distorted sense of self.

A budding narcissist can’t do much to prevent their self-destructive behaviors, but parents can.

However, if you’re raising a child and you’re concerned about raising a narcissist, there are steps you can take.

MakeThemLove

It’s a cliché, but people who treat others cruelly are often the same people who didn’t get enough love as children.

This is especially true for narcissists who didn’t receive enough attention growing up.

Children need to know that the bond with their parents or caregivers is unconditional and that they do not need to earn love.

Prevent Entitlement

Children need to be taught that the best things in life are earned, not given to you from an early age.

This does not mean that you should keep your child in a constant state of deprivation; children need to be raised in an environment that makes them feel safe, protected, and loved.

However, specific rewards should be proportional to the child’s efforts.

Set Boundaries

Testing boundaries is crucial to a child’s development, but these boundaries must be set so that the child can test them.

Unfortunately, narcissists are often the product of uncaring parents who do not bother to set or enforce any rules.

As a result, most children outgrow the boundary-testing phase, but narcissists ignore rules and norms as adults because they have learned from childhood that there are rarely consequences for doing so.

Developing Empathy Through Stories

Reading and telling stories is one of the easiest ways to help children develop empathy.

Stories only make sense if you can understand the characters’ motivations and emotions. Reading books with diverse characters can help children develop empathy, which will serve as a bulwark against narcissism later in life.

Encouraging Social Behaviors

Teaching children to be kind and to help others is one of the most important life lessons a parent can teach.

Encourage your child to feel good about themselves whenever they do good for others.

This will build their self-esteem and start them on their journey toward a life of selfless actions.

Recognizing the Narcissist Within You and How to Stop Them

The simple act of asking yourself if you might be a narcissist is the most important step you can take to eliminate your narcissistic tendencies.

If you can admit that you are hurting others with your behavior, especially if you can admit it to a professional, you are already halfway there.

The next steps, like pausing before responding and building empathy, take a lot of time and effort, but if you’re self-aware enough to start this journey, you may be ready to do the work.

Even if you don’t recognize yourself as a narcissist yet, you may notice certain behaviors that push people away.

You may think this isn’t your problem, but wouldn’t you rather have longer, more stable relationships? Searching for new sources of supply every few months is exhausting.

Think about how much more fulfilled you would be in your life if you weren’t constantly seeking everyone’s approval and praise.

You may find that you can be happier by eliminating these narcissistic behavior patterns.