How to Ignore a Narcissist? For something that seems so simple (just don’t talk to them!), it can be incredibly complicated.

This is because narcissists rely on manipulative tactics such as psychological manipulation to convince others that they are the problem. They don’t respond positively to being ignored, because it threatens their sense of power and control.

So when you ignore them, you’re likely to feel guilty and come back apologizing (even if you haven’t done anything wrong).

But sometimes, ignoring a narcissist is necessary, and this is especially true if you’re trying to set boundaries in a relationship or move on from it altogether.

Key Things You’ll Learn From This Article:

Ignoring a narcissist isn’t always straightforward, as they may respond with aggression and manipulative tactics.

There are different ways to ignore a narcissist, such as no-contact or no-contact strategies, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-interest.

Enforcing boundaries and not letting the narcissist’s behavior affect you emotionally is essential to maintaining distance and protecting yourself.

How to Ignore a Narcissist the Right Way?

Ignoring a narcissist is usually not as simple as giving them the silent treatment and getting it over with.

Related : How to Annoy a Narcissistic Mother-in-Law?

If you’ve ignored them in the past, you know the kind of chaos that usually ensues. They tend to become irrational, aggressive, manipulative, or even violent.

Here are seven ways to ignore a narcissist:

1 Know the rationale

If you want to ignore a narcissist, you need to act confidently and deliberately. Narcissists react to being ignored with intense reactions, such as narcissistic rage, shaming, jealousy, and empty threats. Ignoring narcissists often feels unsafe because these consequences seem so scary.

Before you commit to ignoring the narcissist, remind yourself why you chose this behavior. Knowing your motivations can help you stay disciplined, even if you start to feel guilty or hesitant later.

2 Change the Terms of Your Relationship

If you can’t completely ignore the narcissist, consider taking a no-contact approach. No-contact is appropriate in certain dynamics, especially when it’s not possible to break up.

With this approach, you don’t completely ignore the narcissist. You just withdraw (without telling them). In doing so, you reestablish new boundaries for yourself.

For example, you might choose to avoid talking about certain topics altogether. Or you might prioritize fostering other relationships or pursuing different hobbies, which will help you become less dependent on the narcissist.

3 Make Your Life Fuller

It can be helpful to focus less on the narcissist by focusing more on what interests you. This could include other friendships, classes, hobbies, or even your own relationship.

Narcissists often feel threatened by this because they want to have full say in what you do in life. They don’t want to leave anything to chance because it might disrupt their idealized illusion of what your relationship should look like. Ignoring doesn’t just mean not talking. It’s also about not making your life centered on someone else. You deserve happiness and meaning, and it’s your responsibility to make that happen—no matter what the narcissist wants.

4 Ignore by responding as neutrally as possible

If you typically fight back when you’re angry, this type of ignoring response may be worth considering. While speaking up when you want to be quiet may seem counterintuitive, it works if you can’t cut the narcissist out of your life entirely.

With this type of ignoring approach, you give up the need to prove your point or defend yourself. Instead, you act neutrally toward almost everything. In other words, you essentially let them have their power and control.

For example, if they tell you this great story about how you “saved the day,” you might smile, nod, and say, “That’s great.” If they ask you how things went at work that day, instead of venting about how horrible your boss is, you might simply say, “It was good.”

With this approach, you essentially eliminate all emotionally charged content from your conversations entirely. Remember, narcissists thrive on attention, and they love to keep others on their toes. When they can’t get that reaction from you, they lose interest.

5 Enforce Your Boundaries Every Time

You always have the right to set your own boundaries, no matter what the narcissist tells you.

Sometimes ignoring comes in the form of strict boundaries. For example, you may decide that you don’t want to talk about your physical appearance with your narcissistic mother.

As a child, she would always make sarcastic comments about your appearance. You’re tired of the insults and don’t want to hear them in your adult life.

So if she comes over and starts criticizing your clothes, and you enforce your boundaries, it’s like, “My appearance is not up for discussion. If you do that again, I’m going to ask you to leave this house.”

And if she does it again? Make her leave. Yes, it will hurt, and yes, she will protest. But you need to maintain your integrity, and you’ll only allow toxic behavior if you continue to tolerate such disrespect.

6 Be careful about telling people why you’re ignoring them

While you may be tempted to criticize the narcissist to anyone who will listen, pause. Narcissists are incredibly skilled at deceiving others. They’re used to charming people into playing on a story and painting a picture of who they want to be (as opposed to who they are).

If you reach out to mutual friends and family, don’t be surprised if they reach out too. At this point, people often feel like they need to pick a side. And if you’re not as manipulative as the narcissist, you run the risk of their story being the more convincing one.

Instead, if people ask, keep things vague. This might sound like, Oh, I was just busy. Or, Oh, hmm, I’m not sure. You don’t owe anyone the truth, so be careful about who you share it with.

7 Avoiding Communication Completely

The best way to ignore a narcissist is to actually ignore them. But unlike other relationships, you may have to fully and wholeheartedly commit to the process of ignoring them.

Completely eliminating contact means eliminating all contact with the narcissist. This means you essentially act as if they don’t exist. No shutting down. No checking their social media. No quick phone calls or checking in on them. You completely remove all traces of them from your life.

Not communicating also means:

Not asking others about the narcissist

Deleting any messages without listening to them

Rejecting any gifts, flowers or packages

Blocking them on all forms of social media and email

Deliberately changing your routine if you suspect casual encounters are occurring

Avoiding situations that might prompt you to reconnect

While this approach may seem extreme, many people actually find it easier to follow than some other types of ignoring.

Related : The Narcissist Stare : How They Use Their Eyes to Manipulate You

It’s so obvious that there’s no room for guesswork. You know exactly what to do. And the narcissist will probably get the hint faster than you realize.

The most important part is to stay the course. The first few months will definitely be the hardest. But once you get that momentum going and start healing, you may wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

Is ignoring a narcissist the best way to deal with them?

It depends on the circumstances.

Does the narcissist consistently fail to deliver on their promises? Do they continually let you down or disappoint you? Are you feeling very frustrated with your relationship?

If so, then yes, ignoring a narcissist is the best way to deal with them. Many narcissists don’t change their ways. And even if they do, their efforts are often short-sighted and solely for their own personal gain.

Choosing to engage may seem like the right response, especially if you think you can win a particular conflict. However, the playing field is almost always rigged because the narcissist has already set the rules for what they will and won’t follow (and they don’t share those standards with you).

What does this mean for you? You’ll always feel like you’re on a losing streak. When they get upset — even if it’s completely irrational — it’s your fault. And when they want something, they’ll do almost anything to get it, no matter how much it hurts others.

Does ignoring a narcissist make them go away?

But initially, they’ll continue to test your loyalty. They want you to “pay” for the hurt you’ve caused them. Because of this, they’ll likely go to extreme lengths to get your attention.