Narcissistic abuse (also known as narcissistic victim syndrome or narcissistic abuse syndrome) can be troubling and deceptive.

While we are getting better at categorizing this phenomenon, many people don’t realize the full extent of the abuse until they have completely left the relationship.

Even then, unpacking and healing can be painful and isolating. This is especially true if the narcissist is still in your life.

The length of time it takes to recover from narcissistic abuse varies for each individual and depends on factors such as the length of the relationship and the support system in place.

However, while it may take time, it is possible to recover and heal from the abuse that happened to you.

People can learn how to process the abuse safely with the right support and tools. They can also move on and build meaningful relationships.

This article talks about recovering from narcissistic abuse. It explains how long it can take to heal and the factors that can affect recovery.

It also discusses the different types of abuse and offers steps to help you get back to feeling better.

How long do the effects of narcissistic abuse last?

There is no set timeline for struggling with (or recovering from) narcissistic abuse. The main symptoms, which include anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and shame, can take years to truly process.

Related : 11 Signs You Are Narcissistic Supply

While there are common experiences with narcissistic abuse, every relationship is unique. How you recover will depend on many factors, including:

The length of your relationship

Longer relationships with narcissists generally take longer to heal. You have to get your life back when you invest significant time and resources into someone. This can be stressful, which can hinder your healing process.

Your support system

Having a strong group of family or friends can help you recover. But the opposite is also true.

If you are isolated from others, you may feel even more overwhelmed by the effects of narcissistic abuse.

Your overall mental health

If you are prone to specific mental health issues like depression or anxiety, your recovery may be more difficult.

Narcissistic abuse can also amplify your mental health issues.

Severity of Narcissistic Abuse

While there is no excuse for abuse, more severe and life-threatening forms of abuse can be more difficult to recover from. Narcissistic rage can be particularly painful.

However, there is no such thing as “mild” abuse. Feeling unsafe or disrespected in any way on a regular basis can take a toll on your emotional health and make recovery difficult.

Your Relationship Status

Not communicating with someone may provide a faster path to recovery.

But sometimes you need to maintain a relationship with a narcissist (such as if it’s your parent, ex-spouse, or co-worker).

In this case, dealing with the remnants of narcissistic abuse—while trying to maintain boundaries—can be very difficult.

Your Age

All trauma can affect your development, but some research shows that childhood trauma, in particular, is particularly damaging.

It can also have lifelong health consequences. Children who grow up with narcissistic parents may be more likely to have long-term relationship problems, low self-esteem, and symptoms of trauma.

Your Ability to Identify Abuse

If you don’t label the abuse for what it is, you’re more likely to feel lonely, insecure, and “stuck” in your relationship.

You’re also more likely to enable the narcissist while you’re abusing yourself. Some people stay in this stage for years (and some never leave).

What Happens to Your Brain After Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is generally a type of emotional abuse. However, depending on the relationship, you may also have experienced physical, sexual, or financial abuse.

Research shows that relationship abuse can fundamentally change your brain. Although most brain development occurs in the womb, the brain develops rapidly after birth.

In normal development, between the ages of 0-5, the brain expands in size, both gray and white matter. White matter appears between the ages of 7-17. During the middle years (ages 20-70), gray matter is more regressive.

Trauma has different effects on brain development depending on when the trauma occurred.

For example, studies show that people with PTSD have more memory problems and disturbances. They are more likely to experience symptoms of hyperarousal, dissociation, and nightmares.

Some researchers even consider emotional trauma a brain injury. This is because trauma can cause the amygdala to become overactive.

The amygdala is responsible for the body’s fight-or-flight response system. This system responds to fear (that’s why you feel your heart racing when you’re stressed).

But an overactive amygdala can make your brain think there’s danger when there’s none. This can leave you feeling chronically anxious, overly emotional, or even numb to your environment.

Do You Fully Recover from Narcissistic Abuse?

Full recovery is a broad term. You will never completely forget what you endured. Healing doesn’t work that way. However, promising research shows that it is possible to heal from complex trauma, including narcissistic abuse.

Related : What Happens When a Narcissist Meets Their Match?

Healing often takes a long time and generally requires some form of professional support.

Recovery is a more twisted and complicated process than a straight line. You may still experience flashbacks or anxiety from time to time. But as you get better, these symptoms will not bother you as much.

Avoiding retraumatization is essential. Unfortunately, people with a history of abusive relationships may be more likely to repeat their patterns.

This is not usually a conscious choice. Instead, victims of abuse may be more resilient to the abuse.

They are also more aware of being treated poorly (and may not believe they deserve respect and compassion).

In all of this, it is also important to remember that the brain continues to grow and change over time.

This concept is rooted in neuroplasticity, which means that the brain can adapt based on reorganization.

In other words, by consistently choosing different actions (i.e., standing up to the narcissist or walking away from the relationship altogether), your brain begins to encode those actions as the new norm.

What is the most harmful type of narcissistic abuse?

All forms of narcissistic abuse can be harmful. Narcissists rarely use a single tactic to abuse others. Instead, they often “change” strategies, and do so in ways that leave their victims feeling confused and insecure.

However, some of the most severe types of narcissistic abuse include:

Manipulation

Manipulation is a manipulative tactic designed to make you question your reality and choices.

Most narcissists manipulate you from time to time, but chronic manipulation can erode your self-esteem and make you question your sanity.

Threat

Threats to harm you or others can be extremely damaging. The damage becomes even more troubling if the narcissist has acted on these threats in the past.

Sabotage

Narcissists often sabotage their victims as a form of revenge or petty anger.

They may, for example, try to sabotage your job, your friendships, your physical appearance, or anything else that is important to you. This can make you more dependent on them, and it can also affect your reputation.

Defamation

A narcissist’s smear campaign can be particularly devastating. You may find that long-term friends and family take the narcissist’s side, which often feels like a huge betrayal.

Physical/Sexual Abuse

Emotional abuse is painful, but when a narcissist physically or sexually harms you, it adds another sense of extreme danger. Abuse can escalate quickly, and people have even died from domestic violence.

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