Narcissists rely on a constant flow of supply for validation and ego satisfaction.
They can use anyone or anything to get their supply, but they often turn to relationships to try to meet this overwhelming need.
People in the narcissistic supply role often feel anxious, frustrated, and insecure.
They want to please the narcissist, but they constantly doubt themselves.
You may feel like nothing you do is good enough if you are this person. You may also worry that at any moment, you are about to be replaced.
11 Signs You Are a Narcissistic Supply
Not everyone realizes they are a narcissistic supply. If you don’t know you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you may dismiss certain behaviors as simply “weird” or “unhealthy.”
If you do realize you’re in love with a narcissist, you may blame yourself for causing them to act in certain ways.
Here are some signs you’re a narcissistic supply:
1 They’ve Loved You Too Much
Of all the signs of narcissistic displays, love bombing is one of the most obvious. This stage can last for weeks, months, or even years, but it always has an expiration date (and when it does, it hits victims hard).
During the love bombing stage, narcissists shower you with excessive praise and admiration.
They will make you seem like you’re perfect and that you’re perfect together. Even if the victim feels like something might be off, there’s also a sense of excitement and desire. They ignore this gut feeling and tell themselves they’re overreacting.
Love bombing also consists of high levels of attention. It’s not uncommon to receive texts or calls throughout the day.
The narcissist wants to know everything about you, and they want to maintain constant contact.
2 The narcissist threatens you when you try to leave them or set boundaries
You may be a source of support if the narcissist reacts badly when you set boundaries within the relationship.
This may sound like, “Why are you treating me this way? All I did was love you!”
Other times, narcissists may become outwardly hostile or aggressive. They may challenge your rules or make it seem like you’re punishing them.
Sometimes, more covert narcissists punish their partners for boundaries. They may publicly accept your boundaries on the surface. But their actions always tell a different story.
They may become passive-aggressive, tell you that you’re overreacting, or accuse you of being harsh or overly critical. They’ll also find ways to test your boundaries while making it seem like you’re the one being punished.
3 You Feel (or Know) They’re Mirroring You
All humans mirror other people to some degree—it’s how we communicate and build relationships with others. But narcissistic mirroring is more insidious and manipulative.
When this happens, it’s as if the narcissist understands you completely and has known you your whole life. You may be surprised at how much you have in common.
This makes people feel like they’re truly seen, even though they’re not. It takes time to get to know someone, even in trusting relationships, and aggressive, quick mirroring is just a way to accelerate a false sense of closeness.
Narcissists use mirroring as a weapon. For example, if you tell them you’re depressed, the narcissist may share their own experiences with depression and validate your vulnerable feelings.
But later, in an argument, they may say, “You sound like you’re depressed.
You’re clearly not acting like yourself.” As you can see, mirroring becomes the perfect fuel for manipulation.
4 You Feel Guilty for Living Life
Narcissists often use a variety of subtle and obvious tactics to keep their supply close to them.
They will try to isolate you from others, even if it’s just emotional distance.
They may also make passing comments about how busy you are for them.
However, the experience is generally not mutual. While the narcissist has no problem making you feel guilty for having other relationships or needs, they have no problem with having a busy schedule.
They don’t hesitate to cancel your plans when something better comes along.
5 They only treat you well after they make a mistake.
Narcissists generally follow a predictable cycle of emotional abuse. First, they tend to bombard people with love by showing extreme forms of affection.
Then, once they realize that the other person is just a human being, they begin to devalue them.
The devaluation phase often feels like a constant hot and cold tango. You never know if you’ll be on their good side.
However, after they make an inevitable mistake, they may try to cover it up by showering you with affection or gifts again.
This may be so good that you forget what happened. But the kindness doesn’t last long—it’s all about getting you back into their orbit.
6 You No Longer Know Your Own Identity
Narcissists are adept at convincing people that their opinions, needs, and values trump those of others.
In many ways, they will make you question your own way of thinking. Over time, this can lead to a merging of identities. You take on their preferences and sacrifice your own.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse feel like they are just shells of their former selves. They no longer even know who they are. This is a clear sign that you may be a form of narcissistic supply.
7 They feel upset when you are happy or successful
Narcissists use relationships as a form of emotional leverage. They turn to people to get their needs and desires met.
Narcissists also value power and control above all else. Your own accomplishments, which may have been attractive to them at the beginning of your relationship, now seem threatening.
Being “better” than them makes you feel insecure. They may no longer feel like they are able to make all the decisions, which puts them in a vulnerable position.
As a result, they will react by belittling you, trying to sabotage your success, or discrediting you in front of others. They will do all of this while talking about how much they love you.
Beware when a narcissist starts to lose control.
8 Everything seems one-sided
Relationships with narcissists are far from healthy, balanced, give-and-take relationships.
Lovers often feel like they are always saving, supporting, and caring for the narcissist. It can feel like your own needs are being completely ignored.
When attention is given to you, it’s often short-lived, and that effort can be used against you later on.
In addition, narcissists often want massive praise for doing the bare minimum in the relationship.
9 You feel like you constantly need validation in their relationships
Since narcissists rely on external sources for validation in their relationships, they turn to their relationships for praise and acceptance.
They can’t give it to themselves. As a result, they’re constantly looking for positive feedback from you.
When they don’t get enough attention, they may rush in or fake a crisis to elicit some emotional response.
10 You’re always the one apologizing
It’s healthy to take responsibility for your mistakes and sincerely apologize when you make a mistake.
But this is a red flag if you feel this is out of balance. Think about it—when was the last time a narcissist honestly told you they were sorry for something? Without any provocation or drama?
Even better, did they follow through and show you that they are willing to make positive changes?
It’s a myth that narcissists don’t apologize, but many make false apologies to avoid personal responsibility and regain your trust.
11 They Always Remind You That No One Understands Them
You can tell you’ve become a source of narcissistic supply when they comment on how disconnected or misunderstood they are by others.
Your relationship is special! You see them for who they are! They’ll never meet someone who understands them like you do.
At first, these comments may come across as complimentary, which is why they’re often used during the love bombing phase.
But over time, you’ll realize how manipulative and controlling they are. It’s as if you’re the only source of love and meaning in their life, which makes it that much harder to cut ties.
If you find this article Helpful, Please support me via PAYPAL to Keep posting.
