Narcissists belittle others because it makes them feel powerful and entitled. They often look down on people once they realize their inescapable humanity.

Because narcissists often see things in black and white terms, anything less than perfection is seen as a failure. Once they start belittling someone else, they begin to belittle them.

While feeling belittled can be frustrating and condescending, this can be an important time for you.

You can take this experience and use it to your advantage. It’s important to stay calm, steady, and focused on your own well-being.

Do Narcissists Belittle Others?

Yes, narcissists often belittle others as a way to maintain feelings of entitlement and self-importance.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder inherently believe that they are superior to most people, so it’s difficult for them to appreciate the nuanced personalities of others.

They often view any differences as negative and will look down on others for thinking or acting differently.

Narcissists also put people down as a means of gaining control and power. This is especially true in romantic relationships or parent-child dynamics.

Related : How to Force a Narcissistic Breakdown?

A narcissist doesn’t want to “lift” the other person up, especially if they disagree with something they do. When this is the case, they generally want to tear people down as much as they can.

Why Do Narcissists Put Others Down?

Narcissists have grandiose perceptions of themselves, which makes them believe they are superior to others.

Sometimes they are explicit about this belief, and sometimes they are more reserved. But in all cases, their rigid mindset stems from the assumption that others are less competent or intelligent.

Here are some reasons why narcissists belittle others:

The desire for constant control: Narcissists want to feel dominant in their relationships. They don’t want anyone else to have that power, so belittling others allows them to maintain their control and keep others more submissive.

Projecting their own flaws: Narcissists tend to project their own weaknesses, flaws, and insecurities onto others. This is a way to distract from looking inward and examining their own shortcomings. This maintains their belief that everyone else is the problem.

Manipulation: Narcissists sometimes belittle others as a form of manipulation.

They will comment, “Are you sure you can do this?” or “That sounds like a lot of work for you,” to make people doubt themselves.

Although this may seem counterintuitive, they prefer others to feel insecure around them, as this gives them more power.

Limited Empathy: Narcissists have trouble empathizing with others, especially if the empathy comes at the expense of their own needs or well-being.

So, instead of assuming that someone might simply be struggling to figure something out, they will automatically see them as inferior or incapable.

Jealousy: Narcissists are known to be extremely jealous when they feel they are entitled to something they don’t have.

Many people have a limited concept of delayed gratification or the need to work hard to achieve something.

Sometimes, they belittle successful people as a way to project their feelings of jealousy.

Confirmation bias: Narcissists may hold negative and skewed perceptions of others.

They will look for information to “prove” their assertion that someone is inferior, and when they find this information, it “confirms” their truth (even if it is completely distorted).

Narcissistic abuse: The devaluing stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle consists of criticizing and attacking another person. This is a method of control, which narcissists rely on to feel important and valuable.

To get a reaction: Sometimes, narcissists simply like to stir up chaos. It gives them a sense of purpose and meaning, and they are skilled at manipulating others. While most people tend to avoid drama, narcissists love to start and react to drama.

10 Ways to Overcome a Narcissist When They Put You Down

Feeling like you’re not appreciated enough can be painful and upsetting. If you have low self-esteem or consider yourself an empath, you may believe that the narcissist is right.

You may ignore this form of abuse because you feel sorry for the narcissist or because they’ve convinced you that they don’t really mean what they say.

Related : a Survivors Guide To Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse

Remember, narcissists want you to believe that you’re inferior, incapable, or flawed in some way. This gives them more power in the relationship, and that’s what they value more than anything else:

Here are some ways to get over a narcissist if you’re being abused:

Categorize What’s Happening

It can be helpful to educate yourself about narcissistic traits and narcissistic abuse.

Remember that people with NPD react and lash out when they feel threatened. Their patterns often have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own discomfort.

Be objective about what’s happening, and stick to the facts. Taking your emotions out of the labeling process can help you ground the reality of narcissism. It can also help you stay rational about how you decide what to do next.

Stay Calm and Composure

Acting neutrally disarms a narcissist like nothing else. Because narcissists thrive on chaos, they’d rather you react badly than not react.

When you don’t respond, you’re sending a clear message that you don’t even care about what they’re doing.

Instead of trying to argue or prove a point, try to remain calm and collected. Practice emotional detachment if you must. Remind yourself that losing your cool only reinforces the narcissist’s behavior.

Avoid competing or proving them wrong

As tempting as it may be, try to avoid getting into a power struggle over your abilities.

You probably won’t change the narcissist’s mind. In fact, your efforts may validate their truth. They’ll see your efforts as a sign that you’re trying to make amends.

This strategy is important, though it can be difficult. Never feel good when you’re being put down. But don’t take the narcissist’s bait—whether you realize it or not, they want you to get upset and react.

Leave the need for their validation

This is one of the most important steps you can take when a narcissist is belittling you. The less you care about their opinion, the more freedom you’ll feel.

External validation can be exhilarating, but it can also be a vicious cycle. When you rely on others to validate your worth, you become dependent on external praise and appreciation.

It’s much better to focus on validating yourself and building a strong sense of worth that exists regardless of what others think.

Affirm Yourself

A narcissist doesn’t have the right to define your self-worth. Remind yourself of your strengths and positive qualities as much as possible.

Ask other friends or family members if you’re struggling to identify anything good about yourself.

Keep in mind that narcissists love to exploit other people’s weaknesses. If you tell a narcissist something vulnerable in private, they’ll likely use it against you to hurt you.

Related : What Do Narcissists Do When You Leave Them?

They want to hit you where it matters. Affirming yourself can help minimize this extreme impact.

Set Firm Boundaries

You have the right to tell a narcissist what you will and will not tolerate. This includes emotional abuse, and belittling you can be one form of that.

The most important part of setting boundaries is enforcing them. Your word is worthless if you don’t intend to follow through on what you say. So, if you tell someone you’ll leave the room if they criticize you, that means you should absolutely do that.

Most narcissists won’t automatically respect boundaries. They feel offended by other people’s boundaries because they believe they are entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it. That’s why it’s your job to set those boundaries and stick to them, regardless of how they react.

PracticeMoreSelfCare

The more you take care of yourself, the better your relationship with yourself will be. If you really want to get over a narcissist, this is one of the best ways to do it. The greatest revenge is to love yourself enough to stop tolerating abuse.

Narcissists don’t want others to practice self-care. They don’t want people to feel good about themselves or value their needs.

They want what works for them, which often comes from over-validating and committing to their every need and calling.

Self-care won’t stop a narcissist from putting you down. But it can improve your self-esteem enough that their thoughts about you no longer matter. It can also give you the courage you need to truly walk away from the relationship.

Focus on Building a Meaningful Life

No matter how insecure or belittled you feel, you deserve to live a fulfilling life. No one should ever take that power away from you.

Start by thinking about what brings you joy. What activities do you enjoy? Which people make you feel safe and valued? What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

Small steps are important here. Maybe you decide to take a course in a hobby you’ve always been interested in.

Maybe you decide to spend more time with a friend you’ve grown distant from. But the more you surround yourself with hope and meaning, the less control the narcissist will have over your well-being.

Seek More Support

Although they won’t admit it, narcissists thrive on isolating people from their support systems.

They want to have the final say in the relationship because they feel threatened by outside views or opinions.

Although they won’t outwardly admit to feeling threatened, they will make comments like, “Your mother never cared about your feelings,” or, “She doesn’t seem like a good friend. You deserve better friendships!”

One of the best ways to empower yourself is to surround yourself with positive influences.

Find friends and family who will validate your worth. If you don’t have anyone to offer this to, consider seeing a therapist. You can benefit from having a judgment-free space to process your feelings.

Avoid Overcompensating

It can be tempting to try to enhance your skills in an area where the narcissist belittles you. For example, if they make fun of your cooking, you might double down and try to be the best you can be in the kitchen.

For yourself. If you’re trying to please the narcissist, your strategy won’t work.

They’ll either find another way to put you down or ridicule you for putting in the effort. It’s a no-win situation.

The narcissist is not interested in logic or reasoning, but in proving the validity of his ideas.