Do you sometimes feel like you’re just a character in someone else’s drama-filled life story?
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, chances are you’ve been there before. Their behavior can leave you confused, tired, and wondering if it’s all in your head. But there’s a pattern to their actions, and clear signs that scream “narcissism.”
Narcissists want to shut you out of every aspect of your life. They want to control you and feel appreciated by everyone around them.
This list of 30 signs of a narcissist is more bizarre than all the boring articles you might read about signs of narcissism. If you’ve ever met a narcissist, you’ll likely recognize many of the signs on this list.
1 They’re Always Talking About Their Latest Success
Narcissists can’t wait to tell you about the great things they’ve done, even if it has nothing to do with what you’re talking about.
This is because they want to be seen as the most successful person. Whether you’re talking about a movie or someone else’s birthday, they’ll find a way to steer the conversation back to their own personal accomplishments.
They hope to get the praise and appear more important than everyone else. It’s their way of making sure they stand out and get noticed.
2 They Lose Interest When Someone Else Gets Appreciated
Narcissists often don’t seem very excited when it’s time to applaud someone else. They prefer to have the spotlight on them all the time.
Related : How It Feels To Be in a Relationship with a Narcissist
If the group is celebrating someone’s promotion or a job well done, narcissists may not listen, or they may try to talk about themselves instead.
They act this way because they don’t like other people getting the attention. In their minds, they should always be the star, and when they’re not, it bothers them.
3 The Narcissist Is Never Wrong and It’s Never Their Fault
When something goes wrong, you can bet the narcissist will say it wasn’t their fault. They quickly find someone or something else to blame.
This is because the idea of failure doesn’t fit with how they see themselves.
They work hard to keep things looking like they always know what they’re doing. So if there’s a problem, they’ll be the first to say, “It’s not me!” and point to someone else, to keep their image clean.
4 They Always Play the Victim
Narcissists are good at playing the victim. If things don’t go their way, they’ll make it seem like they’ve had the worst time ever.
This isn’t just to make you feel sorry for them; it’s also a way to try to control the situation.
They may say that everyone is against them or make a small problem seem huge. They do this to get attention and get people to do what they want while making themselves look like they’ve overcome big challenges.
5 They’ll Make Empty Promises
Narcissists will promise you a lot, but they often don’t follow through on those promises. They say “yes” to a lot of things, perhaps to get you to like them or because it makes them seem generous.
But when it comes time to do what they said, they may make excuses or forget about it altogether.
They often don’t think about the details of follow-up because for them it’s more about the moment of looking good than actually doing what they agreed to do.
6 They have an endless need for compliments and approval, and they’re not shy about seeking them out
Narcissists love to be told they’re great, and they never seem to get tired of hearing it.
They go out of their way to get compliments, like seeking them out with hints or asking outright if you like what they did.
This is because these compliments make them feel important. So, they might brag about a new outfit or talk about a big project, hoping you’ll say something nice.
7 When confronted with their mistakes, narcissists weave a web of excuses instead of facing the problem head-on
If a narcissist makes a mistake, don’t expect them to respond directly with, “I made a mistake.”
They’ll likely give you a bunch of reasons why the mistake wasn’t really theirs. They might blame someone else, blame the situation, or say things were out of their control.
The bottom line is that they don’t like to admit that they’re not perfect, so they pile up excuses to protect themselves from feeling bad or looking bad in front of others.
8 They Always Blame Others
Narcissists are masters at the blame game. If things don’t go as planned or something goes wrong, they won’t look in the mirror.
They’ll quickly point to other reasons or people they think are responsible. They might say, “It’s because you didn’t remind me,” or “Well, the instructions were wrong.”
Acknowledging their role isn’t their style; they prefer to keep their image and ego intact.
9 They Get Angry Very Quickly
If someone disagrees with or criticizes a narcissist, beware – they often get angry.
They think they’re always right and get angry when you dare say otherwise. For them, perfection is everything, so they get very angry and very quick if you question them.
10 They Always Play the Sympathy Card
Narcissists can tell a sad story just like anyone else, especially if it makes them seem like they’ve been wronged.
They love the sympathy that comes with it, and guess what? It often helps them get what they want. By playing the victim, they pull your heartstrings and manipulate the situation.
11 They Always Want to Be in Control
Have you noticed that a narcissist always wants to be in control? Yes, they want power in almost any situation or relationship.
They think they deserve it. The desire to “be in control” can make them possessive. They often pull the strings, always trying to get things their way.
12 They don’t care about your feelings
Narcissists often seem to not care about other people’s feelings. They can be hurtful without realizing it, or sometimes they don’t care if they do.
They focus on themselves and forget that other people have feelings too. This can make them really hard to be around, especially when you’re upset, and they don’t get it.
13 They demand your full attention
Like actors who always want the spotlight, narcissists need to be the center of attention.
They look for ways to keep all eyes on them, whether it’s by talking loudly, stirring up trouble, or always making sure they’re noticed. They thrive on this attention and feel lost without it.
14 They’re jealous of your success
Narcissists have a hard time feeling happy for others. When someone else is successful, they may feel jealous or feel like it’s taking away from their own success.
They have a hard time feeling happy for others; they often compare and wish they had what others do.
15 They’re charming but shallow
Narcissists can be really charming, and that’s how they attract people. But often, this charm doesn’t run deep.
It’s a skill they use to get what they want, not a sign of their true feelings for others. They know how to say everything right, even if they don’t mean it.
16 They don’t care about your feedback
Narcissists will often dismiss or ignore feedback, especially if it doesn’t align with their view of themselves. They often consider themselves above reproach, so they may meet your input with indifference or even hostility.
Instead of considering your feedback, they may dismiss it with a comment like, “I think I know what I’m doing.”
17 They Live in a Fantasy World
Narcissists like to dream big, which isn’t a bad thing, but they often expect the world to live up to their fantasies.
Related : What Do Narcissists Do When You Leave Them?
When things don’t go exactly as they imagined, they may feel frustrated and blame others for not meeting their high expectations.
18 They Exaggerate Their Importance
Narcissists often act like they’re more important than everyone else, exaggerating their role or contributions.
They want to be seen as the most valuable person in the room and will stretch the truth to make sure everyone believes it.
19 They’re Experts at Holding a Grudge
If you upset a narcissist, be prepared for them to hold that anger. They can hold grudges for a long time, often bringing up old arguments or issues long after everyone has moved on from them.
20 They Have Superficial Relationships
Narcissists sometimes struggle to form deep, meaningful relationships. They focus on what others can do for them, rather than on building real relationships.
This can make their relationships seem one-sided and empty. They also have a strong tendency to cheat.
21 They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Narcissists often don’t see other people’s boundaries. They may intrude on your personal space or ignore your feelings, just to suit themselves.
They see your “no” as a “maybe,” which shows that they care more about what they want.
22 They Have Grandiose Fantasies
They dream of being on top—the richest, most famous, or best. Narcissists have big ideas about their future that are often far from reality.
They indulge in these dreams and can become angry when others don’t take them seriously.
23 They’re hypersensitive to criticism
Even a little criticism can set off a narcissist. They take it very personally, even if it’s meant to help them.
They may react to a small comment as if it’s a huge insult, which can be surprising and difficult.
24 They’ll play with your emotions
Narcissists can play with your emotions to keep you close and maintain control.
They may make you feel guilty or say things that make you doubt your own thoughts. It’s a way to keep you unsure and off balance.
25 They Love Drama
Narcissists can stir up drama because it keeps their attention on them and makes them feel important.
When life is quiet, they may start a fight or gossip just to spice things up, but this often hurts the people around them.
26 They Lie All the Time
Narcissists often twist the truth to fit their narrative, creating a version of reality where they’re always right.
Lying can be a tool for them to maintain their ideal image and manipulate situations to their advantage.
Lying comes as naturally to narcissists as breathing. They will lie about big things, like their past accomplishments or where they were last night.
It’s all about maintaining this illusion that they want the world to believe.
It can be frustrating because you never know what’s true and what isn’t, making it hard to trust them.
They play a game of trying to stay one step ahead, always trying to shape the world around them so they can stay on top and in control.
27 They copy your behavior
Narcissists may copy your behaviors, interests, or actions to create a sense of closeness or manipulate your perception of them. This mimicry may be their way of getting closer, gaining your trust, or keeping you in the relationship.
When narcissists copy you, it’s like trying on clothes in a dressing room, looking for the perfect outfit—in this case, your personality traits—to win you over.
It’s both seductive and annoying. They may start liking the same bands, using the same catchphrases as you, or adopting your hobbies.
At first, it may seem like you’re on the same page, but over time, you may notice that it’s less about shared interests and more about keeping you hooked.
By projecting your identity onto you, they’re trying to show that they’re your ideal partner, often hiding their true selves and motivations.
28 Their Apologies Are Mostly Fake
When narcissists apologize, they often lack sincerity and typically use it as a tactic to move past a conflict without addressing the underlying issues.
Their apologies serve to mitigate or manipulate rather than express genuine remorse or commitment to change.
You may hear a narcissist say “I’m sorry,” but watch closely—there’s often a “but” that follows, shifting blame or making excuses.
These apologies are more about getting what they want—like forgiveness or a clean slate—than about feeling sorry.
They may say, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” putting the onus on you to feel hurt, rather than acknowledging their role in causing the pain.
It’s a subtle way to control things, avoid real accountability, and keep the door open for repeating their behavior without real consequences.
