You think you’ve finally broken up with the narcissist and they’ll leave you alone. But narcissists tend to use you and drag you back into the toxic relationship you just left.
Narcissists are experts at playing with your emotions. They will emotionally blackmail you by saying romantic things to get them another chance.
Please don’t be fooled! Narcissists can’t change.
Here are 20 typical things narcissists say to get you back into the relationship.
1 “No one can make you as happy as me”
They say this to undermine your self-esteem and make you question your ability to find happiness without them.
It’s a form of emotional blackmail to keep you tied to them. Don’t be fooled. You are capable of creating your own happiness. Remember, it’s not just about being with someone who makes you happy but also about being able to find joy independently.
Related : 20 Things That Drive Narcissists Absolutely Nuts
Don’t let a narcissist convince you that your happiness depends on them. You are stronger than you think and deserve a relationship where mutual respect, not manipulation, is the norm.
2 “I now realize I was wrong. I will change, I promise”
This is a promise of change with phrases like “I now realize I was wrong. I will change, I promise.” This phrase appeals to your hope and willingness to forgive, making it a powerful tool in their arsenal.
It will seem sincere and you may want to trust them. However, remember that real change is a process, not a promise.
It takes time, effort, and a genuine desire to do so. Narcissists often lack this sincerity, and use the promise of change as a simple ploy to hold you back.
Beware of empty promises, and always prioritize your emotional health.
3 “I can’t live without you. You are my everything.”
They say this to make you feel indispensable and guilty for leaving.
These words are meant to create a sense of obligation, as if you are making them miserable by choosing to leave. But don’t let this manipulative tactic trap you. It’s a common ploy to lure you back into their toxic world.
It’s not that they can’t live without you, it’s that they want to maintain control over you.
So, don’t be swayed by their desperation. Stick to your decision, and remember that you’re not responsible for their happiness or well-being. It’s their job to find ways to live without you.
4 “We were meant to be together. You won’t find a bond like ours anywhere else.”
This can be very powerful and emotionally impactful to hear, however it’s important to recognize this as another common manipulation tactic used by narcissists.
They often try to make you believe that your relationship is extraordinary and irreplaceable. It’s a ploy to keep you hooked, in the hopes that you’ll back out of your decision to leave.
5 “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re irreplaceable.”
Narcissists say this to make you feel special and unique and like you’re the only one who can meet their needs. It’s powerful manipulation because it appeals to your desire to feel valued and important.
But don’t be fooled. This is another way for them to lure you into their toxic web. Remember, it’s not about your irreplaceability but their need to maintain control.
So when you hear these words, take them as a warning sign of their narcissistic behavior, not a compliment about your uniqueness.
6 “You’re overreacting. Our problems weren’t that big.”
This form of manipulation is designed to make you doubt your judgment and perception of reality.
They try to convince you that the problems you’ve identified aren’t important, in order to minimize your feelings and concerns.
This strategy allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It’s a way to shift the blame onto you, making you the problem instead of addressing the real issues.
7 “I thought of you every day we were apart. I still love you.”
This is a way to downplay your fears, and it’s a classic manipulation tactic that makes you question your decision to distance yourself. Don’t be fooled.
Their claim of constant thinking is a ploy to exploit your emotions, not a reflection of true love or remorse.
The narcissist’s declaration of love is likely another manipulation designed to get you back into the relationship. Remember, their actions didn’t reflect that professed love when you were together.
Related : 11 Ways How Narcissists Suck You Back Into a Relationship With Them
Stay consistent. Their sweet words aren’t evidence of change but a calculated attempt to regain control.
8 “I was scared before, but now I’m ready to commit fully to you.”
This is a manipulation ploy designed to get you back into the relationship. Narcissists often use statements like this to exploit your sympathy and hope for a better future. They may claim to have changed their mind, promising that this time will be different.
However, remember that real change doesn’t happen all of a sudden, especially for narcissists. It’s not uncommon for the cycle of manipulation and abuse to resume once you regain control.
So when they say they’re ready to commit, ask them if it’s real or another attempt at manipulation.
9 “We’re perfect for each other, can’t you see?”
They say this to make you question your judgment and ignore your instincts.
They’re playing on your emotions, hoping you’ll ignore their past actions and buy into this idealized vision of the perfect relationship.
But remember, you’ve seen their true colors. They’ve shown you who they are, not who they’re pretending to be now.
Don’t let them distort your perception of reality. You deserve a partner who respects you and treats you with kindness, not someone who manipulates you for their own benefit.
10 “Do you remember all the good times we had together?”
Don’t be fooled when a narcissist tells you this. This is often a manipulative strategy to get you to forget about negative experiences and abuse in the relationship.
They’re trying to cloud your judgment with nostalgia in order to overlook the hurt they caused.
It’s a common tactic used to hold you back, to make you change your mind about leaving.
You may start to wonder if the bad times were really that bad. But don’t let them trap you in this cycle of manipulation. Stay strong and remind yourself of the reasons you decided to leave.
“Good times” don’t negate the pain they caused.
11 “I made a huge mistake letting you go. I won’t do it again.”
When a narcissist says this, they want you to feel responsible for their supposed regret. It’s a ploy to get you to reconsider your decision and consider giving them another chance.
What you need to understand is that the narcissist isn’t really sorry for hurting you; they’re sorry for losing the power and control they once had over you.
Their claim of making a “huge mistake” is nothing more than a manipulation tactic designed to drag you back into the toxic cycle. So, don’t fall for their empty words and false promises.
12 “I now know what I did wrong. Please give me a chance to make it right.”
It may sound sincere to hear a narcissist say this, but it’s often another cunning attempt to regain control. It’s a classic manipulation tactic to make you feel sorry for them, to drag you back into the chaotic cycle of their narcissistic abuse.
They don’t admit they’re wrong because they’ve grown or changed. They do it because they’ve noticed your strength and independence and are scared. They’re losing their grip on you, and this is their desperate attempt to pull you back into the chaotic cycle.
13 “I’ll make you the happiest you’ve ever been, just give me another chance.”
This statement is designed to exploit your hopes and dreams, to pull you back into the chaotic cycle of their narcissistic behavior.
The promise of a happy future can be tempting, especially when it comes from someone you once cared deeply about. But remember, it’s just a bluff. They’re not making this promise out of love or genuine remorse, but to regain lost control.
It’s important to stand your ground, remember the pain their actions have caused, and resist the temptation to believe their empty promises.
14 “Think about everything we’ve been through, it has to have meaning.”
When narcissists say this, they are playing on your emotions, creating a sense of shared history and investment to draw you back.
However, it is important to remember that the value of a relationship is not determined by its duration but by the mutual respect, love, and support within it. The narcissist’s invitation is not about the value of your shared experiences but about their fear of losing control. Don’t let nostalgia cloud your judgment.
You are not obligated to stay because you’ve been through so much together. Instead, focus on how those experiences made you feel—if they were overwhelmingly negative, that’s a sign to move on.
15 “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
When a narcissist tells you this, they’re often trying to manipulate your emotions into making you feel indispensable. This heartfelt statement is a classic tactic to get you back to your senses.
They’re playing on your empathy and compassion to make you feel guilty about leaving. You may start to question your decision, wondering if you’re giving up something extraordinary. But remember, it’s a calculated move, not an honest confession.
Narcissists use statements like this to maintain control, not because they truly value you. They’re adept at feigning weakness to keep you hooked. So when you hear this line, see it as a red flag, not a romantic declaration. It’s about their needs, not your value.
16 “I’ve changed, I swear. You’ll see.”
Don’t let the narcissist’s promise of change fool you—it’s another manipulation tactic they use to get you back. It sounds sincere, but it’s often just a facade.
Their transformation isn’t about becoming a better person; it’s about regaining control over you.
They may even go to therapy or make grand gestures to convince you that they’ve “changed.” But beware, narcissists are skilled actors. They know how to play the part, mimicking emotions and actions that make them seem authentic.
However, their actions rarely match their words for long. So be strong, stand your ground, and don’t fall back into their toxic cycle.
17 “I’ve learned from my mistakes. You’ll see the new me.”
Just as they may promise to change, narcissists will also claim to have learned from their past mistakes, assuring you that you’ll see a new version of themselves. This is often a tactic to regain control after a breakup or argument. They will appear remorseful and insightful, and appear to acknowledge their mistakes.
They are skilled at faking real growth without actually changing. It’s important to remember that real change takes time, effort, and a willingness to break old patterns. Don’t fall for their persuasive words.
Look for consistent actions over a long period of time. If they’ve truly learned from their mistakes, it will be evident in their behavior, not just their promises. Trust your instincts and protect your emotional well-being.
18 “Do it for the times we had together. Don’t let them go to waste.”
They’ll remind you of the good times, the laughter, and the moments shared, hopefully clouding your judgment and making you forget the pain they caused.
They will use your emotions as a weapon against you, with the goal of making you feel guilty about leaving them.
Remember, this is a manipulation tactic designed to play on your emotions. It’s not about honoring shared memories, but about maintaining control.
You’re not wasting anything by moving on. Instead, you’re choosing to honor yourself, and that’s the most valuable thing you can do.
19 “I’m lost without you.”
This is a desperate plea designed to make you feel like the narcissist’s survival depends on your presence.
You may feel a surge of importance and guilt at the same time. Don’t be affected. It’s not your responsibility to save them or sort out their emotional mess. This is just another tactic to get you back on track.
Remember the pain and turmoil they’ve caused you if you’re tempted to save them. They’re not lost without you. They’re lost within themselves, and this is a journey they need to take on their own.
20 “I can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else.”
They’re trying to play on your emotions by saying this, making you feel guilty about moving on. They don’t really care about your happiness. They’re just afraid of losing control over you.
Their ego can’t handle the idea of you being happy without them or, worse, with someone else. Don’t fall into this trap. Remember, you deserve a relationship based on mutual respect and true love, not manipulation and control.
Stand firm, maintain your boundaries, and don’t let the narcissist’s words influence your decision.
BeforeYouGo
Narcissists are skilled manipulators, using well-crafted phrases to lure you back into their toxic web. Recognizing these tactics is your first line of defense.
Remember, it’s not your job to fix or fall for their false promises. No relationship should come at the expense of your mental health.
Stay strong, respect your boundaries, and ask for support when needed. You have the power to resist their manipulation and reclaim your life.