With the continued growth of social media, you can find information on just about any topic online, including relationship issues.
This dynamic has brought a lot of attention to the effects of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
If you’ve ever dated or even married a narcissist, you know that these relationships are difficult.
You can expect your relationship with a narcissist to be challenging and change you to your core. Learn more below.
How Do I Know If I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist?
Before we delve into the specific changes that come with being with a narcissist, it’s helpful to do a little background check to see if you’re actually dating a narcissist.
People use the term “narcissist” so often that you may not necessarily know what it means.
When someone is labeled a narcissist, people are usually referring to the traits that come with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Related : Six Reasons Why Narcissists Play The Victim
Not everyone who displays narcissistic traits has the disorder. However, the traits of this disorder are linked to the disturbing behaviors that people experience when they are in a relationship with a narcissist.
If you are with a narcissist, whether they meet the criteria for a personality disorder or simply have some narcissistic traits, you will notice some or many of the following behaviors.
Lack of Empathy
Individuals with narcissistic traits will have limited empathy for your experience. When you are having a bad day, or are hurt by something they have done, they will seem callous.
A narcissist has no time for your hurt feelings, so don’t expect them to validate you. Instead, you will feel a lack of empathy when you are upset or struggling.
Extreme Arrogance
Narcissists feel special and deserving of praise and admiration, so you can expect them to be arrogant. They may exaggerate their accomplishments or remind you why they are superior.
Ultimately, they feel like they are the best at what they do and want to be recognized. They may not want to acknowledge any of your accomplishments or successes, as they prefer to be the center of attention.
Entitlement
It is also common for narcissists to have a strong sense of entitlement. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they will feel that your time and energy belong to them.
They feel that you should always be available to them, no matter what may be going on in your life. The narcissist will also expect you to comply with all of their demands, without regard for how this will affect you.
Jealousy
Narcissists struggle with envy, which can manifest in many ways. First, they feel envious of those around them, including their partner. This may lead them to belittle you in order to feel better.
Narcissists also assume that others are envious of them, which can lead them to become quite possessive in the relationship. Assuming that others are jealous of them can cause them to worry that someone else will take their place.
Exploitation
In relationships, narcissists can be quite exploitative. They will take advantage of your kindness to further their agenda.
This might look like asking to borrow money but never paying you back, expecting you to help them with business interests, or using your success to boost their status or self-esteem.
6 Ways a Narcissist Will Change You
Over time, the challenging behaviors and traits associated with narcissism can impact your well-being. Eventually, this can cause some negative changes in your life.
Let’s dive into these changes below.
Losing Your Sense of Self
When you’re with a narcissist, it’s easy to lose yourself in the relationship. You’ll spend most of your time meeting the narcissist’s needs and managing their moods.
Related : Avoiding The Narcissist Guilt Trip: How To Protect Your Self-Esteem
Over time, you may lose your sense of self. You won’t have time for your hobbies and self-care because you’re so focused on the narcissist. You may forget who you are and what you enjoy outside of the relationship.
Low Self-Esteem
You’ve probably gotten used to narcissists belittling you. They may criticize everything from your appearance to your career to your hobbies.
This leaves you with low self-esteem, as they completely distort your view of yourself. You may have once been confident, but now you see yourself in a negative light.
Questioning Your Own View of Reality
Narcissists struggle to take responsibility for their negative behavior. Instead of admitting their mistakes and apologizing, narcissists will shift the blame onto you or deny that they ever did anything wrong in the first place.
In many cases, narcissists resort to an abusive tactic called manipulation, where they insist that they didn’t say or do the harmful things you brought to their attention.
They will convince you that you’re misremembering or that you’re “crazy” or “too sensitive.”
After repeated instances of manipulation, you’ll begin to doubt yourself. You may begin to believe that the narcissist is right, and that you’re remembering incorrectly.
Belief That You Deserve Abuse
Narcissists can be extremely abusive in relationships. They’ll take advantage of your kindness, hurt you with repeated insults, and blame you for their bad behavior, while completely lacking in consideration for how it affects you.
After a while, you’ll start to believe that you deserve the abuse. Because the narcissist avoids accountability and insists that you’re responsible for their mistakes, it’s easy to start feeling like you deserve this punishment from the narcissist.
Financial and Career Consequences
In relationships, narcissists demand their partner’s time, energy, and attention. They’re also willing to use your financial resources whenever they see fit.
This can leave your financial and professional life in shambles. The narcissist may convince you to empty your savings to bail them out of a financial crisis, or they may demand so much of your time that you can’t hold down a job.
Negative Views on Love
Being with a narcissist can leave a sour taste in your mouth. If the relationship ends, you’re likely to feel bad about love.
After all, your love for a narcissist may have exposed you to psychological abuse, and you’re likely to think that relationships aren’t worth the drama.
It’s not uncommon for people to end their relationships with a narcissist and decide they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship again.
MovingForward
There’s no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can change you for the worse. However, these changes don’t have to be permanent.
It’s possible to learn something from these unhealthy relationships and come out of them much stronger. Commit to your healing journey so you can prevent yourself from falling in love with another narcissist in the future.
With time, support from loved ones, and in some cases, professional guidance, you can heal your wounds, rebuild your self-esteem, and learn how to set healthy boundaries in relationships.
Let your relationship with a narcissist be a learning opportunity, and try to find the silver lining in the changes you’ve undergone.