If you’re falling into the narcissist’s guilt trap, chances are you already have low self-esteem. You know how emotionally draining it is to live with a narcissist. They constantly seek attention and use guilt to control you in every aspect of your life.
Narcissists use guilt to make you feel responsible for their negative feelings and emotions, making you do what they want. Don’t let narcissist guilt control your life; you deserve a happy, healthy life. You do.
How Narcissists Use Guilt
Narcissists use guilt to maintain control over you. This results in you feeling emotionally exhausted and responsible for things you have absolutely no control over, constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.
Related : People With Narcissistic Parents Grow up Having These 10 Traits
There are three important things to look for to know if a narcissist is guilt-tripping you. These include:
Using Threats and Ultimatums
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to use verbal threats or give you ultimatums when trying to force you to do something they want.
This could be as simple as wanting to visit a friend and they don’t want you to.
They might threaten that they won’t be here when you get back, or that you might have to choose between staying with them and visiting your friend for the sake of your relationship.
Using Guilt-Making Phrases
This is another common way narcissists make you feel guilty when they don’t want you to do something you want to do.
They’ll tell you that they don’t have enough money to go out with your friends because they need it. Or that they need the car for something important and that you’re leaving them in a difficult situation.
They Like to Play the Victim
Narcissists know exactly what they’re doing when they’re trying to guilt you into feeling guilty, but at the same time, they’re adept at playing the victim and leaving you feeling guilty. By using this technique, they shift the blame onto you, making you wonder if you were at fault.
There are several ways you can protect your self-esteem when dealing with narcissists’ guilt.
How to Protect Yourself from Guilt?
1 Know the Signs of Guilt
Empower yourself by knowing the signs of guilt to protect your self-esteem when dealing with narcissists. Don’t fall into their trap, be strong by identifying their goals and setting boundaries.
When you know the signs of guilt, you are already one step ahead of the narcissist, giving you the upper hand. This is very important when dealing with someone like this, enabling you to protect yourself.
Many narcissists use guilt as a way to maintain control over you, and as a result, setting boundaries is a good way to prevent this from happening.
Narcissists love to push boundaries and see how far they can push you. Set and maintain your boundaries, and communicate clearly with the narcissist.
2 Use Empathy
Once the narcissist has the idea that they are right, they cannot be changed. To defuse the situation or calm an angry narcissist, you need to use empathy. Take the time to listen to what they are saying, while keeping in mind that you are not the problem.
Related : The Worst Thing You Can Do When Dealing With a Narcissist
Taking the time to listen and care may be all that is needed to stop this narcissistic behavior.
3 Self-Care
When dealing with a narcissist, you should practice self-care. Take the time to exercise, even if it is just a walk.
Eat well and focus on your well-being. Having supportive friends and family is also important to help you maintain control of your life and maintain your self-esteem.
4 Use Assertive Communication
When dealing with guilt, it is important to be aware of the words you use. The wrong word can cause a narcissist to lose his or her temper and worsen the guilt. Remember that they always think they’re right.
Assertive communication involves using “I” statements when you express your feelings. Repeat yourself to make sure you’re heard, and stay calm in these situations.
Stay calm throughout the process, remind them of your boundaries, and if necessary, ask for everything in writing. This is very effective in stopping guilt trips.
5 Trust Your Instincts
Women are known for their intuition and “gut feelings.” So use that to your advantage when dealing with narcissistic guilt. Don’t ignore the signs of guilt; learn how to deal with it. Remember that you are not responsible for their current feelings and emotions.
“Gut feelings” can range from anxiety to fear and excitement to fear. Many women have found ways to calm their feelings when they feel something is wrong. If you’re unsure whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic guilt trip, always trust your gut.
6 Ask Open-ended Questions
Don’t find yourself being accused of something you didn’t do. Instead, validate the narcissist’s feelings by asking them open-ended questions. This is a great way to maintain your self-esteem and defuse the situation.
When you are being blamed for the narcissist’s current feelings or emotions, you can say, “You seem upset, do you want to talk about it?”
Even if they place all the blame on you, by being assertive and knowing the red flags of a guilt trip, you can maintain your sense of self, which reduces the risk of you feeling guilty. Remember to tell the narcissist that discussing why they feel this way is helpful for them.
7 Learn How to Emotionally Distance Yourself
You are a strong woman, and you can cultivate your inner strength. You can learn how to emotionally distance yourself when you are experiencing guilt. This gives you the upper hand, allowing the narcissist to blame their feelings your way without you feeling hurt or anxious.
When you emotionally distance yourself from the narcissist’s behavior, you protect your sanity and well-being.
Related : 10 Surprising Things That Make You the Envy of a Narcissist!
This is so important to remember, as so many women are treated this way by their narcissistic partners every day. Cultivate your inner strength to protect yourself and your self-esteem.
8 Get Professional Help
Are you not dealing with narcissistic guilt? Perhaps talk to a professional. Professional help is not something that makes you weak, in fact it can empower you and give you the strength to face any guilt head-on.
If you are caught in a cycle of narcissistic abuse and guilt, you may find that professional help is the best answer. This is valuable when you lack self-esteem, confidence, and doubt your self-worth.
With 5% of the world’s population diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, 7.7% of them are men. This increases the chances of women being in a relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point in their lives.
Learn how to protect your self-worth when dating someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Always remember that you are worth it, that you are not wrong, and that you deserve a happy and healthy future.
