Are you tired of attracting narcissists?
Understanding why you keep attracting narcissists can help you prevent attracting them in the first place.
In this article, I’ll give you nine ways you can stop attracting narcissists.
1 Practice Self-Love
Studies show that empathetic people are ideal targets for narcissists. Because empathetic people have a lot of empathy and love, narcissists thrive when someone worships them. For narcissists, this is the perfect match, but clearly not for you.
While showing kindness and compassion to others is natural, you must prioritize your own needs. A lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth attracts narcissists. A person who doesn’t love themselves is an easy target for them. This shows that they can easily influence and manipulate you.
Self-confidence is crucial in every relationship and aspect of life; fortunately, it’s something you can build over the long term.
Related : Secret Tricks Narcissists Use to Pretend They Love You
The next time you meet someone you’re attracted to, show them that you’re not easily controlled or influenced. Self-confidence is one of the best repellents for narcissists, even if you fake it until you make it.
2 Listen to your gut
Sometimes, trusting your instincts is more than enough to keep a narcissist out of your life. Look for red flags, such as rude behavior toward other people in normal, everyday situations.
You can learn a lot about people’s personalities by how they treat waiters at a restaurant, how they react to defeat, and how they react to trivial things like a canceled movie or dinner plan. A red flag is if your partner repeatedly comments on your clothes or asks you to change them.
No matter what, if a certain behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and something tells you that it’s not right, walk away now.
3 Set boundaries and stick to them
If you’re an empath, you’re an excellent catch for narcissists. You don’t like hurting people, so you’ll do anything to make them feel good. Unfortunately, narcissists misinterpret this as being weak and trying to please people completely.
That’s why you need to set clear boundaries, stick to them, and stand your ground, no matter how kind and compassionate you are. Show them that you’re not afraid to point out their ridiculous behavior or leave the relationship. If you’re getting to know each other, make it clear what you won’t tolerate.
Even then, they’ll try to push boundaries, and people may make fun of you, but you need to stick to those boundaries firmly, or you’ll be lost. If they respect your boundaries, great! If they don’t, it’s time to get out.
4 Take Control of Your Life
Some people are extremely needy and would rather have others take over and control the situation. They don’t enjoy their “alone” time and struggle with their sense of self. These people are codependents, and narcissists can spot them from miles away.
A codependent person will do anything to maintain a relationship to avoid feeling abandoned, which is what narcissists thrive on. If you believe you are codependent, you should consider counseling. A good therapist will help you reduce destructive behavior and start healthy relationships.
5 Learn from your past relationships
Everyone makes mistakes, but we can usually recover by learning from our mistakes after making them. So, if your past relationships weren’t healthy, learn from that experience and explore all the challenges you faced.
It’s easy to get sucked into a similar relationship because it’s what you’re used to and find comfortable, but you’ll soon realize that you’re repeating a pattern that you desperately want to break out of.
6 Learn About Narcissism
It’s easy to find answers to almost anything these days. To help you break the pattern of attracting and dating narcissists, start by researching narcissistic behavior online.
The more you know about narcissism, the better you’ll be able to handle situations that involve this type of behavior and avoid associating with a narcissist altogether. The sooner you spot the red flags and warning signs of narcissistic behavior, the sooner you’ll be able to get out of an abusive relationship.
7 Discover the True Meaning of a Healthy Relationship
Suppose you find yourself constantly in a relationship with a narcissist. In this case, you may want to reevaluate what a strong, happy relationship really means and what it means to be in love, caring, and committed.
Related : Healing from PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse ( Survivors Guide)
A healthy relationship is based on trust, mutual respect, honesty, support, communication, and love. Both partners thrive, care for each other, and want only the best for their loved ones. Manipulation in a healthy relationship is unheard of, as neither interested partner wants to see the other person in pain.
If your relationship lacks any of these elements, it’s not healthy, and it’s time to move on.
8 Appearance Isn’t Everything
Yes, physical attraction draws people together, and we often can’t help it. However, if you’re looking for a long-term, committed relationship, you shouldn’t prioritize appearance.
Physical appearance can often blind you, and you won’t be able to see anything beyond your nose. But if you want to prevent another narcissist from entering your life, you should ask yourself the following questions: What do you have in common? Are they kind? How do they treat others? Are they responsible?
Once you answer these questions, you’ll know if you’ve fallen in love with their looks or if they have it all.
9 Seek Therapy
People who are attracted to narcissists often have underlying issues. Maybe you grew up in a family of narcissists, and you don’t know any better. People tend to gravitate toward what they are used to because it makes them feel comfortable.
A counselor, therapist, or life coach will help you get to the root of the problem and help you learn how to avoid narcissists.
The bottom line
Narcissists are hard to spot at first. They use love-bombing tactics to quickly gain your trust and affection and completely blind you to their faults. To stop being a magnet for these people, you must first review some things, ask questions, and reevaluate your situation.
Related : 12 Biggest Mistakes That Allow Narcissists to Control You
Do you think you are overly enthusiastic about meeting new people? Are you a people pleaser? Do you have difficulty setting boundaries? Then your attraction radar is not off. Narcissists are looking for people just like you.
You should know that there is nothing wrong with being kind and compassionate. These are your strengths, and you do not need to change your personality to stop attracting narcissists into your life.
You can assert your needs and interests and learn to read people’s intentions better. Finally, while you may not stop being a magnet for narcissists, you can help yourself by shifting your focus to choosing not to date one.
