Narcissists don’t usually lie. If you’ve ever interacted with a narcissist, you’ve likely been a victim of their dishonesty. And if you catch them lying, they’re likely to react with anger.

You may be wondering, “Do narcissists believe their own lies?” While we’d all love to have a straight answer, it’s not that simple.

Narcissists are complex creatures, and their behavior can be extremely disturbing and confusing. Whether they believe their own lies depends on the situation and the extent of the lie.

In some cases, a narcissist may genuinely believe their own lies. In other cases, they know they’re being dishonest, but they just don’t care. We’ll explore this in more detail below.

NarcissisticPersonality

Before we delve into the specifics of whether narcissists believe their own lies, it’s helpful to take a look at the complexities of the narcissistic personality. Narcissists present a false self to the rest of the world to maintain their ego. This false self is overly confident and superior.

To maintain this false self, narcissists must control others. They exploit others to achieve their goals, which makes them feel powerful. They also tend to dominate conversations and spend a lot of time talking about their victories, which boosts their ego and makes them feel powerful.

The problem is that behind this confident exterior lies a vulnerable ego. Internally, narcissists struggle with feelings of inadequacy, and they fear that others will eventually find out. They distort reality to avoid confronting their vulnerabilities, which can sometimes lead to behavior that appears insincere to others, but not to the narcissist.

On the other hand, narcissists are willing to exploit others to get their needs met. This may require them to lie, or at least distort the truth, to their advantage. In this case, narcissists are willing to lie, and they don’t particularly care if it hurts you, because they lack empathy.

So, the end result is that narcissists sometimes believe their own lies, but at other times, they are fully aware that they are deceiving you. Whether they believe the lies they tell depends on the specific scenario.

Factors to Consider

Since there isn’t always a clear answer to whether a narcissist believes their own lies, you’ll have to assess the situation. With some critical thinking, you can come closer to understanding what the narcissist actually believes.

Consider the factors below to get to the root of the narcissist’s dishonesty.

Distortions in Reality

Narcissists tend to exhibit a number of cognitive distortions, meaning that their thinking patterns are illogical. For example, they tend to engage in magical thinking, believing that they are incredibly special and possess special talents that others do not.

Narcissists also carry with them a strong sense of entitlement, believing that all of their demands should be met. Furthermore, they often show evidence of black-and-white thinking, meaning that something is either perfect or despicable.

All of these errors in thinking distort the narcissist’s reality, and they see the world very differently from the rest of us. In some cases, the narcissist may believe any lie or fabrication that they present, based on their distorted views.

Let’s say the narcissist is telling a sad story in which they present themselves as the victim. Although this may seem like a lie on a rational level, the narcissist may believe that he or she is being victimized. Because he or she believes that his or her demands must always be met, it is easy for him or her to feel like a victim, even if he or she is the bad person.

Empathy Disadvantages

Empathy is a very weak muscle in a narcissist. This means that they have a hard time understanding the needs and feelings of others. They only empathize with their own needs, so they don’t have time for yours.

Their lack of empathy makes narcissists perfectly willing to lie to you, because they won’t struggle with any guilt or remorse. They don’t care about your feelings anyway, so lying is perfectly acceptable to them if it helps them get what they want.

Let’s say a narcissist gets you to lend them money. They may assure you that they will pay you back, even if they don’t intend to. In this case, they have lied about their intentions but they won’t feel guilty about it.

Manipulation Tactics

Narcissists are willing to manipulate to get what they want. They believe they are entitled to have all their demands met, and they may exploit others to get that goal.

In some cases, narcissists are fully aware that they are being dishonest. They don’t believe the lies they tell; They know that lying will get them what they want.

If a narcissist lies to take advantage of you, they probably don’t believe their own lies. However, they feel entitled to lie to you if it serves their interests. To protect their ego, they will justify the lie rather than take responsibility for being dishonest.

DefenseMechanisms

Remember that narcissists struggle with insecurities beneath the surface. To avoid confronting their underlying insecurities, they create a false persona in which they are perfect and superior to everyone around them.

To protect this false persona, a narcissist must use defense mechanisms to avoid confronting their flaws and mistakes. So, if a narcissist lies to you, they may actually believe the lie, based on their ego defenses.

For example, narcissists use blame shifting to avoid accountability. If they are confronted about a mistake, they will find a way to shift the blame onto the person confronting them. If a narcissist lies, they will likely blame you while avoiding the fact that they lied.

Instead, their bad behavior may be projected onto you. Instead of admitting to lying, they will accuse you of being a liar! Finally, they may resort to manipulation, which is when they deny that they lied at all. They will try to convince you that you are crazy and that you are remembering things incorrectly.

The point is that narcissists cannot accept accountability; it is too painful for them. They will do their best to defend their ego from any admission of wrongdoing. When it comes to lying, a narcissist may believe their own lies, due to defense mechanisms that prevent them from admitting their flaws.

Conclusion

Sometimes, narcissists actually believe their own lies. However, it doesn’t really matter whether they believe the lies they are spreading.

Ultimately, if they are dishonest or distort the truth, you will end up hurting, regardless of what the narcissist believes.

Realize that lying, deception, and distorted thinking are all fundamental to narcissistic behavior. A narcissist may not be fully aware of their behavior, but they are still wrong. If they are aware that they are lying, they will justify it, believing that you deserve the lie.