Okay, I want you to think about a person in your life right now, who is narcissistic.

It doesn’t matter if they are friends, work colleagues, or family members – get them in your mind.

Now imagine life without their drama. Without their chaos. Without the division they bring to you and others in your shared circle. Would I be right in assuming that things would be…

Peaceful?

Calm?

Regulated?

I’m right, right? Of course!

Going no contact will do all of these things for you, but it’s a huge decision that ultimately falls on you.

Before you make your decision, I want you to think about what going no contact could mean for you, so let’s dive in.

WhatIsNoContact?

Going no contact is just that.

You’re tired of the games, the abuse, the drama, and the manipulation.

You see the narcissist as nothing more than an angry, egotistical troublemaker, and you’re now thinking about ways to make your life simpler, calmer, and more enjoyable.

Related : What is Narcissistic Projection? (With Examples)

You don’t want them around, and there are steps you’ve started to take to make that happen.

Going no contact is where you completely cut off your relationship with the narcissist. Not just a little. You don’t see them occasionally at a party or dinner. You don’t reduce your time — you reduce it completely.

It’s a tool used by many people who have reached their last hurdle with the narcissist, and who just want to be able to move on without knowing that the narcissist is still around.

Why No Contact Works

What works better than not seeing someone who brings misery into your life?

Absolutely nothing!

No contact is a surefire way to foster inner peace. No motivation other than the desire to stop the chaos is necessary.

As a result, the narcissist can no longer control you. They can’t manipulate you. Their tricks won’t work:

They get radio silence from you.

This causes the narcissist to go and look for another source—the next victim on their list to apply their tactics to.

Bad for them? Yes indeed.

Good for you? Very good.

Listen, you’ll make your own decision about no contact, but there are things to consider as you begin looking for ways to expel the narcissist.

Let’s take a look at those things.

What does no contact mean to you?

1 Think about all the feelings…

So, here’s where no contact can get so difficult to understand, and that’s what makes it so hard to get to this point.

No contact means you’re saying goodbye to someone who’s going to enhance the enrichment and quality of your life. This means you can move forward and feel an element of freedom, but because those who usually end up making this huge decision are good, compassionate people, it comes with a plethora of confusing emotions.

Guilt.

Regret.

Fear.

Sadness.

Grief.

Yes, you’re sad to some extent because you’re letting go of someone, and on top of that, you’re grieving for the person you wished you had. This is often the case with family members or friends because they should, by default, be an important member of your support system.

Related : Why Are Narcissists Emotionally Cold?

The fact that they caused you so much pain along the way proves that they don’t have that mansion in your life, so you decided to politely let them go.

Not communicating can change and shift the dynamics a lot, which brings me to my next point…

2 Prepare for Backlash

It’s a sad but true fact that not communicating means you’re likely to lose other people along the way.

These people, known as flying monkeys, are the people that narcissists recruit to do their dirty work for them. This can look like believing the stories the narcissist tells them, getting into arguments with you about how unfair you are, how much the narcissist is hurting you… basically anything and everything that makes you feel bad.

Losing people can actually be in your best interest – after all – if they really care about you, why would they be so quick to believe the narcissist?

I always tell people that there is always a big reason why people decide not to communicate, so that they never lean on one side of the story to get it all.

3 Restore Peace

What is that noise you can hear?

Oh that’s right, nothing!

Why don’t I get angry at the dinner table when I talk about my day?

Yes, it’s because the narcissist is not a topic of discussion.

Restore Peace.

It will take some time to get used to the lack of drama that the narcissist is playing on you, but after some time you will truly appreciate the love and healing that will be spread now that the narcissist is no longer around, pushing your buttons and exploiting your emotional health.

4 Guilt Will Set In

Listen here, because this part is so important.

Guilt is a natural part of letting go of someone, even if that person was bad for you.

You have been trained to rely on narcissists. To believe them, to do what you are told. You have been told to act a certain way in order to be accepted, and to never be on their wrong side. When they loved you, they loved you deeply, but then came the rejection.

Related : These 8 Things Make Covert Narcissists So Dangerous

Now—the world is yours for the taking. That initial burst of freedom can make you almost feel sorry for the narcissist.

This is where you have to remember—if you chose this—it was for a reason. You chose peace because they called you and told you it was a choice, so you made it.

5 You Might Make Mistakes—And That’s OK

Hey, we’re all human, and we all make mistakes sometimes.

Why do people make mistakes after they cut off contact?

In fact, a common way to do this is through sheer curiosity. The person who has decided not to contact wonders if the narcissist has redeemed themselves.

They’ve watched A Christmas Carol so many times that the narcissist isn’t running around dancing and apologizing to everyone for being an old fool—they’re still the same person they’ve always been.

Sometimes slipping up can mean taking a peek into the narcissist’s current life, rolling your eyes, and realizing why you made that decision in the first place.

There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. Your kind heart wondered if people could really change, and sometimes they can.

Narcissists are not those people.