If you’re trying to end a relationship with a narcissist, you’re probably learning quickly that it’s not easy. You tell them you’re leaving, and they beg you to stay.
They may promise to change for the better. Or they may lash out at you, threatening that you’ll never find someone like them again if you leave.
Despite how desperate you are to break free, you’re not sure how to finally escape.
Is moving to another city the best option? It probably is, depending on your circumstances.
Factors to Consider Before Moving
The idea of moving to a completely new place has probably crossed your mind if you’re trying to leave a narcissist. After all, how can you truly break free if they know where you live?
Related : Do you need to be financially stable to leave the narcissist?
Before you pack up and leave, let’s consider the factors below.
Your Physical Safety
Your safety and the safety of your family are paramount when you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist.
If they’re stalking, harassing, or physically attacking you, creating distance is essential.
Now, ensuring safety in this situation may be easier said than done. I realize that they may be upset that they can’t reach you, which can increase harmful behaviors.
Create a Safety Plan
Before you move, it’s important to have a safety plan in place. What will you do if they find out about your plans or new location? How can you increase safety?
Connecting with local community service providers, such as mental health or domestic violence support centers, can be helpful. It’s also wise to let a few trusted friends or family members know about your plan.
Having loved ones on standby in case of an emergency can be crucial to your safety.
Create a Support Network
Moving means saying goodbye to your local support network, especially if you’re moving across the country.
Moving to a new state can increase your physical safety and put distance between you and your narcissist. However, healing can be more difficult if you don’t have social support.
Physical release is a good step toward healing from narcissistic abuse. However, you also need to heal emotionally!
Considerations for Building Support
If you decide to move, you may want to consider moving to a place where you already have social connections.
Related : Six reasons why narcissists put your friends against you
You may have old friends who live across the country or family members who live out of state.
Choosing an area where you already have social connections can make emotional healing easier.
Financial Considerations
You don’t need to be 100% financially stable to leave a narcissist. In fact, cutting them out of your life may be a good option for your bank account.
Narcissists have a way of squeezing every last cent out of your possessions, so staying here probably won’t help you save for the future.
However, moving is a big investment. Consider the cost of hiring a moving company or at least paying for a moving truck.
Plus, you’ll need to set aside some money for a down payment on a new home or a security deposit on an apartment.
The cost of moving can really add up. When you get to your new destination, you’ll need money in savings and a plan for employment.
NoCommunication
When you end a relationship with a narcissist, no communication is usually the best way to handle things. This means that you don’t communicate with the narcissist at all.
If you leave any lines of communication open, they’re more likely to reach out and try to lure you back. Don’t give them that opportunity.
No contact means blocking their phone number, deleting them from social media, and refusing to communicate with them publicly.
Achieving No Contact
Achieving no contact is very easy if you move. If you move to a new city, the narcissist won’t be able to stop by your house or stop by your usual hangouts.
Related : Six ways to take power away from the narcissist
You can also change your phone number in a new city, so they can’t call you, even from a blocked number.
Moving may make no contact easier, but it’s not the only way. You can commit to no contact, even in the same city.
In addition to blocking the narcissist from your phone and social media, you may need to change your routine. If you frequent certain restaurants or clubs on the weekends, you’ll need to find new places to hang out.
Likewise, if you stop at the same coffee shop on your way to work every morning, you should switch to a new location. This prevents the narcissist from stalking you in places you normally visit.
Standing by Your Boundaries
Regardless of whether you move, breaking free from a narcissist requires you to set strong boundaries.
When you try to end the relationship, they will likely beg you to stay. Or they will listen to what you have to say, only to act as if you never broke up with them.
They may show up at your house after the breakup, or call you as if nothing happened.
Don’t let them violate your boundaries. If you’re ending the relationship, end the relationship.
Don’t give in to their attempts to reconcile or contact you. Stay out of their reach; if they find a way to reach you, ignore them.
Related : 7 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You
If you must, remind them of the fact that you broke up with them. Treat them harshly, and be as boring as possible until they realize that they’re not getting a response from you.
Conclusion
This article began by asking whether moving on is the best way to break free from a narcissist. It may be one way to break free, but it’s not the only way.
When you decide to take your power back from a narcissist, the most important thing is to stick to your boundaries.
Ending the relationship and moving on allows you to break free. How you do this will depend on your specific needs and situation.
If you can do it, moving away can ensure a complete break. The narcissist will no longer be able to contact you, and you will be able to start over.
Moving is a big step, and it can remove you from your support network. When moving isn’t an option, you can stay in the same city if you commit to staying out of contact.
Moving away is one way to establish freedom from the narcissist, and it may be the best way for you. Ultimately, the best way to break free is to go completely out of contact and start your life over without the narcissist breathing down your neck.