Narcissists have a lot of tricks up their sleeve. One of their favorite tricks is to turn all of your friends against you.

They may sabotage you behind your back, telling your friends scary stories about you. Or they may tell your friends that you’re no longer interested in being friends.

There’s no point in your partner doing that to you. Don’t they want you to have friends who support you?

Narcissists don’t want that. Having friends is the last thing they want to deal with.

There are several reasons why they might turn your friends against you. We’ll explore them below.

NarcissistGames

Before we delve into the specific reasons why narcissists don’t want you to have friends, it’s helpful to refresh ourselves on classic narcissist games.

Related : Things Narcissists do When They’re Jealous of You

Remember that narcissists are willing to use you to get what they want from you. They feel entitled to have their every demand met.

They will go to great lengths to get what they want from you. This can include manipulating you into questioning your own perspective on reality.

They will also shift the blame onto you whenever there is conflict and use intimidation to get what they want from you.

It makes sense that in the midst of these classic games, they would also turn your friends against you.

Reasons to Turn Your Friends Against You

Narcissists are willing to exercise power and control to get what they want from you. In fact, power and control games are one of their favorite pastimes.

Given this fact, it is likely that they will try to turn your friends against you. They do this for the following reasons.

1 Keeping You Isolated

Narcissists need to be with you all the time. After all, they expect you to be at their service 24/7.

If you maintain your friendships, you won’t have time to accommodate their every desire. Instead of admitting that they are selfish, immature, and don’t want you to have any friends, they turn your friends against you.

The narcissist may send messages to your friends behind your back, telling them that you are talking about them. The narcissist will act like they really care, and that they are doing everyone a favor.

Over time, this will cause your friendships to deteriorate. Now the narcissist has you all to themselves!

2 Extreme Envy

Envy is one of the main features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissists envy everyone around them, because other people act as potential competitors.

Your friends are no different. Narcissists envy your relationship with them, as well as the time you spend with them.

Related : 7 Narcissist Hobbies that are Instant Red Flags

They can’t accept that you might choose to spend time with anyone other than them. Instead of growing up and accepting that friendships are normal and healthy, they turn your friends against you.

Don’t try to convince them to stop being jealous of your friends. You have to accept their version of reality! At least that’s what they believe.

3 Supporting Their Agenda

A narcissist knows that you care what your friends think of you. So, your closest friends are perfect targets for a narcissist’s games.

If a narcissist is trying to convince you that you’re wrong, they may go behind your back and tell your friends how “crazy” or out of line you are.

A narcissist will make up a ridiculous sob story, portraying you as the villain while they play the victim. They hope your friends will think you’re wrong, and they will try to convince you to give the narcissist their way.

You may have heard the terminology that goes along with this behavior: triangulation. This is a game where the narcissist drags a third party into a conflict to manipulate you.

You may not agree with what the narcissist is saying, but if your friends do, it’s a completely different story. Triangulating with your friends is a great way for narcissists to get what they want from you.

4 Weaken Your Self-Esteem

Narcissists need you to believe that you’re responsible for things going wrong in the relationship. They also take advantage when your self-esteem is at its lowest point.

If you are very confident in yourself, you will not fall for the narcissist’s games. So, the narcissist may turn your friends against you to undermine your self-esteem.

Related : Things Narcissists Say in the Beginning

When you feel bad about yourself, you will not believe that you deserve better than what the narcissist is offering you. And when you are left without friends, you will start to feel even worse.

Now, you are an easier target for the narcissist. You have no one else to stand by you, and you feel very bad as a person.

You have lost your friends, so you must be the problem, right? That is exactly what the narcissist wants you to believe.

Without friends to support you, you are very vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.

5 Projection

Narcissists have very low self-esteem beneath their inflated exterior. They project all their flaws onto others to protect their fragile ego.

Most of the time, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. So when they start exhibiting bad behavior in their relationship, they may project those behaviors onto you without even realizing it.

Maybe they’re cheating on you, so they mention to your friends in passing that they’re worried about you cheating. This is classic projection.

Over time, they may continue to project their bad behavior onto you when talking to your friends.

While they may not intentionally turn your friends against you, the truth is that your friends may start to think less of you.

6 As a Control Tactic

Narcissists love to be in control. Sometimes they even control others for fun.

The narcissist’s ego is inflated when they realize they can control other people’s behaviors and reactions.

So, they may turn your friends against you just to satisfy themselves with the satisfaction of being in control. When your friends are upset with you, your friendships will experience increased tension.

This gives the narcissist even more power over the dynamics of these relationships. For example, if things are tense with your friends, it’s very likely that the narcissist will be able to convince your friends to side with him in a conflict with you.

As tensions between you and your friends increase, the narcissist also gains more control over you. He may be able to convince you to abandon your friends, leaving you with less support.

What does the narcissist gain?

Remember that narcissists turn your friends against you because they gain something from it. Whether it’s a sense of satisfaction or more control over you, the narcissist finds it very beneficial for your friends to be unhappy with you.

If you have healthy friendships, you’ll be less susceptible to the narcissist’s games. Friendships are a source of support, and they may even warn you that the narcissist is up to no good.

The narcissist can’t have that, so they’ll be sure to create chaos between you and your friends.