Finger pointing. Finger wagging.
More finger pointing. Finger wagging.
Wow… the narcissist is so unhappy today.
Why, you might ask.
This is where most people are left scratching their heads.
Nobody knows – not really. Narcissists would blame you for the weather if they could, but in reality, there are enough reasons for a whole book why the blame could be shifted onto you.
Give yourself a point for every reason you encounter. No prizes! Just the realization that you were in fact dealing with a narcissist.
1 Their Regrets
Regrets… I’ve regretted some…
Ah, well, the narcissist didn’t make them, after all, they’re perfect!
No… you made their past the way it is – that’s why they’re blaming you for it!
We could have moved from place to place earlier to make more money, but you didn’t want to.
You’re the reason I don’t travel anywhere. You hate flying. I wish you’d gone more places.
I didn’t take that job a few years ago because you were worried about the long hours. I wish I hadn’t listened.
Related : 8 Things Narcissists Lie About
Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat.
Everything they didn’t do, or wish they did better – it’s all thanks to you.
It’s ironic how they take all the control away from their victims, yet they claim you had plenty of it in the past, right?
What’s the “cognitive dissonance” going on here?
2 Birth
Dismissing my jokes and wit is a terrible, dark, sad shift of blame.
You’re usually a narcissistic child who sees you as the main reason for their internalized hatred. Of course, it was never your fault. You didn’t ask to be brown or ask to be as a parent.
You probably made things difficult for them by being kind, honest, genuine, compassionate, brave, and a natural talent of some sort. As a result, you threatened your narcissistic parent as soon as you were born.
Your light should never be dimmed by the constant dark aura of someone you associate with. It happens to many. Don’t let that be your story – let it be your motivator.
3 Their Weight Gain
The takeout, the late nights, the skipping of the walk to work or the gym in order to lie down, or the drive – it’s all your fault.
You’re the reason they’ve lost control of their body.
It’s all they have in a world where they don’t love their inner selves either.
Most narcissists are obsessed with their appearance, so if that slips in their eyes – you’re in trouble.
They act like they have no control over what they do, when you’re the excuse they needed to stop taking care of themselves. When the results become visible, you’ll be reminded of that – and you’ll be blamed instead.
4 Being Late
Drive Faster!
Why can’t you just be ready on time?
If we miss the presentation, it’s your fault.
Don’t care about the fact that they “lost” your car keys, or that they scold you every time you go over the speed limit.
Related : Why do Narcissists Give Silent Treatment?
Don’t care about the fact that they were late getting home from work and demanded to shower first.
Being late for anything means they’re safe. This is especially true when you’re attending an event.
I’m so sorry we’re late. You know them (points at you). It takes a long time to look this good!
Laughter will ensue, usually accompanied by a few raised eyebrows your way.
Yes – it’s all your fault.
5 Not Having Enough Money
We’d have more money if we stopped buying ourselves all these things.
Did you go to the store today? Noticed that a large sum of money came out of your account.
Yes, you probably did. You needed groceries or a new winter coat. Let’s not talk about all the extravagant items they happily buy and pay for without a conscience.
Not having enough money will be at your feet, never theirs. That’s because narcissists are often irresponsible with money, and they don’t like to admit it.
6 Having to Work
I wouldn’t have to work so hard if I got a better job.
Of course I have to work, I have to provide for you, right?
In fact, narcissists love to work so they can apply these little victim comments when necessary.
It shows a need for empathy.
Poor guy.
You work so hard.
They’re lucky to have you.
You’re great at what you do.
They love it. They love putting you in the line of fire. You’ll never know how much they do unless you hear it from someone else.
7 Family Disagreements
Family disagreements tend to happen when the narcissist quietly but surely pulls the strings in the background. Usually, a small comment from someone or a nudge or glance at someone else is enough to create an atmosphere.
Related : How Do You Deal with Silent Treatment from Narcissists?
You can call it conflict engineering – they’ll provide the ingredients for the perfect storm and blame you when it rains.
You won’t realize it, but the moment they point it at you is the moment they start convincing everyone else that you’re to blame, too.
8 Smearing Their Image
The truth isn’t allowed all the time, and it provides a negative view of the narcissist’s true character.
You will be blamed if you even dare to start telling the innocent truth.
Notice how the narcissist will point at you and tell you that you are the one responsible, instead of addressing their behavior.
This is a classic tactic designed to make you look like the bad guy, while they continue to get away with the same thing over and over again.
Narcissists are obsessed, and I mean obsessed with the perfect image. They need to look perfect so that people will never suspect them.
You screw it up? You pay for it.
9 Car Problems
The car wouldn’t have any problems if you were driving it right!
I wouldn’t have crashed into the car in front of me if you weren’t talking to me nonstop!
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I cause you to be so inattentive? And now your repair bill is somehow on me to fix?
Great…
Related : How Do You Know a Narcissist is Lying?
The narcissist’s incompetence needs to be turned onto you, or they will look…well…incompetent.
10 Relationship Problems
If you lack intimacy, it’s because of you.
If you don’t spend enough time together, it’s because of you.