Narcissists bring out the worst in us. They take that insecurity you feel, and they rub it in your face (daily, if they can!)

Just when you think you’re having a great day, you’ll get a text, a call, or even a comment on social media. It will sink so deep into you that no expert in sharding will be able to extract it.

Let’s flip the coin here and start looking at what triggers narcissists.

Trust me when I say—there are several ways you can really trigger their insecurities, without even realizing it.

1 Losing Control

Narcissists see losing control as a personal threat. This means their mask is in danger of slipping off their face.

Related : Why do Narcissists Give Silent Treatment?

When people see the real person behind them, they’re exposed to the lies and destruction that comes from one persona.

Losing control of a situation is a huge trigger for any narcissist, and they’ll do everything they can to minimize the damage.

Even at your expense!

2 Not Getting Enough Attention

The one thing narcissists thrive on is attention.

They need it like water, because without it they are nothing.

Attention from others validates them. It’s a constant need. They don’t mind the attention. I’ve known narcissists who will intentionally trip in public or drop something so others can help them. They simply can’t function normally and get on with their day like you or I can.

Little slivers of attention are a constant need for narcissists. They love knowing they can extract it from people—even at their expense.

3 Outsmart Them

Oh no. Has anyone else’s light ever been brighter than the narcissist’s?

Also see 6 Things Narcissists Regret Ever Doing

Well, that won’t work!

Narcissists will take your light and use it for themselves. They can’t stand it when you’re better than them. At best, they may mumble, “Well done” or “Well done,” but none of that is sincere.

However, when they do succeed, you have to bow down to them so they can bask in your praise – otherwise, you’ll be on their hit list!

4 Bank cards don’t work

I know this may seem a bit off topic, but I can assure you that narcissists get angry if their card is declined. The anger will mask an incalculable amount of shame and embarrassment as it appears to others that there is some sort of financial problem.

Related : How Do You Deal with Silent Treatment from Narcissists?

Narcissists are obsessed with money, so appearing like they don’t have any will really turn them on.

After all – they have an image to maintain!

5 Not getting the job they applied for

Not getting the job they applied for is a direct sign of rejection. This means two things.

They weren’t good enough for the role they wanted. That’s ego-wrenching in itself.

Someone else was officially better than them – more qualified, more available, more knowledgeable, and maybe even better at presenting. Ugh.

Narcissists struggle the most here when they have to tell people they didn’t get the job. To save face, they usually say they turned down the offer because the pay wasn’t enough, or something similar.

However, the trigger is still there!

5 Being the butt of a joke

A narcissist can joke about others all day long.

What someone looks like.

What they wear.

Their job.

Their hobbies.

The way they talk – anything at all.

If they become the butt of a joke – all bets are off. The trigger is incredibly real and incredibly painful. A narcissist will take names, remember them and never welcome them back into their selfish lives.

Related :  Are Narcissists Lying or Delusional?

Being made fun of or talked about by someone means that someone sees them as imperfect, and even if it’s all in jest, they won’t see that. All they will see is the threat – something they fear greatly.

6 Ignoring You

How dare anyone ignore a narcissist?

Don’t you know who they are?

Narcissists feel they have a divine right to be seen and heard by everyone—and for all the right reasons.

Narcissists have internal wounds that can only be healed by your love and attention (note that I didn’t say “healed”). Because they can’t heal themselves, they look to others for it.

If you ignore a narcissist, you are directly challenging their need for validation and approval. They won’t know what to do, and they will want to get back at you for letting their insecurities rise high enough to be noticeable.

7 When You Stand Up for Yourself

You have the right to stand up for your own position, just like anyone else. We must live and breathe our values. If someone tries to undermine theirs, we can reiterate that we will not tolerate it.

That’s okay. For healthy people, that’s okay.

For the narcissist, you’re the one who provoked them.

Your refusal to be bullied or manipulated will not sit well with the narcissist at all. He will officially feel like control has slipped out of his grasp.

Angry, he will try to tear down your boundaries to test his strength. If you build them well enough, nothing will make them crumble.

Related : How Do You Know a Narcissist is Lying?

It’s not uncommon for a narcissist, in his aroused state, to tell you how confused you are. This means, “You’re acting like your usual weak self, and I feel threatened.”

Once you’re able to decipher what they’re really saying, you can stand your ground and be proud of the progress you’ve made.

8 When Someone Is Trying to Love Them

Nothing excites a narcissist more than you loving them.

You may wonder why. After all, narcissists love to be loved.

You’re right, they love it, but they hate you for being able to.

What comes naturally to you is impossible for them. They are jealous of your good character. Deep down, they also know that if you love them, you may one day stop loving them.

Imagine the fear inside someone so insecure that love itself can be a trigger for them.

9 Being Criticized

A narcissist’s self-esteem is as strong as a wet paper towel. One blow in the wind and it can be torn apart easily and permanently.

The only thing holding them together is the compliments of others. If they stop or are replaced by criticism, the person responsible is the one who triggered them.

Related : 9 Reasons Why You Feel Unsafe in the Car With Narcissists Driving

Criticism is a great trigger because any negative words that fly their way only confirm their negative view of themselves.

It’s as if all their insecurities have suddenly been confirmed. Pride is wounded. They hate themselves even more (if that’s possible at all).

Criticism is evidence to the narcissist.

Evidence is a challenge to the person they are trying to portray.