When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you quickly learn that it’s all about them. At least, that’s how it goes in their minds.

But what happens when you need attention? If you’re feeling sick, chances are you can’t meet all of the narcissist’s needs.

Now, it’s about you, but the narcissist won’t tolerate that. Have you forgotten that it’s all about what they need?

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When you’re sick, the narcissist doesn’t have time for you to whine and cry. It’s best to just put up with it and shut up, because they don’t care.

Based on who they are as a person, you can expect narcissists to exhibit the following behaviors when you’re sick.

Common Treatment by Narcissists When You’re Sick

A narcissist doesn’t suddenly turn into a good person just because you’re sick. So, you can’t count on them to show you care and concern.

Instead, they’ll use some or all of the following tricks out of their own pocket.

A Complete Lack of Empathy for Your Experience

Narcissists generally lack empathy, and it’s no different when you’re sick. Narcissists simply can’t recognize your needs because they’re so caught up in their own needs.

This means they can’t see that you’re feeling sick and exhausted. All they can see is that you’re too sick to meet their needs, which makes them angry.

Based on their lack of empathy, you can expect narcissists to downplay the seriousness of your illness. They also won’t care about your feelings during this time, and they may even attack you for being too lazy.

Selfish Behavior

Selfishness is a narcissist’s middle name, so it’s only natural to expect them to be selfish during your time of need. Instead of caring for you, they will care for themselves.

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How can you expect them to continue this when you are in bed all day, instead of taking care of their every need?

The narcissist may even go so far as to play the victim, whining and complaining about how your illness affects them.

Extremely irritable

Since the narcissist only cares about themselves, they will become very upset with you when you are sick.

They will still expect you to wait for them and take care of their needs, and when you are unable to do so, they will become angry.

They may call you names, tell you how annoying your illness is, or become impatient with you, asking you how long they can expect you to be depressed.

Manipulating You

You may already know that narcissists play you, and it turns out that they do this to you, even when you are sick.

When you are sick, the manipulation may look like the narcissist telling you that you are faking your illness in order to get attention. Or they may tell you that you are exaggerating, and that things are not as bad as you think.

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The bottom line is that they want to invalidate your experience, making you feel out of control for feeling bad in the first place.

Pretending to Care

While the narcissist will generally feel contempt for you when you’re sick, they may have moments when they pretend to care. This usually happens when they have an audience, because appearing to be a great caregiver makes them look good in front of others.

So, when they think it will get them some positive attention, the narcissist may go out of their way to be a loving partner during your illness. They are hoping for attention and praise, which will boost their ego.

When you are behind closed doors again, expect them to withdraw their care and attention. They will go back to ignoring and humiliating you, because they no longer have anything to gain from acting like they care.

Taking advantage of the opportunity to manipulate you

Exploitation is the name of the game when dealing with a narcissist. These people are great at finding your weaknesses and exploiting them to get what they want from you.

When you are sick, the narcissist will make a big fuss about how much you are bothering them. They will also make you feel guilty for interrupting their life at your moment of need.

Their goal is to manipulate you and convince you that you are at fault for getting sick. They expect you to return the favor because they dared to get sick.

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So, expect them to throw this back in your face in the future. They’ll remind you of how useless you were when you were sick, hoping you’ll feel guilty and give them some extra special treatment to make up for it.

IgnoreYou

If a narcissist doesn’t take the perfect opportunity to berate you while you’re sick, they’ll simply ignore you. After all, you’re useless if you’re too sick to serve as their personal butler.

Instead of caring for you like a good partner would, they’ll ignore you. They might go out and have fun without you, or host other people because you’re not good with them.

Unfortunately, they won’t feel remorse for their behavior. They believe they deserve to have all their needs met. If you’re too sick to cooperate, it’s not their fault you’re not following the rules!

ConditionalCaregiving

Narcissists view relationships as transactions, so if they show you any care or concern while you’re sick, they’ll make sure they get something in return.

They might offer to act as your guardian, but they’ll definitely keep a record. They will expect to be able to leverage their “kindness” at some point in the future to get a favor from you.

Rest assured, whatever the narcissist asks of you in return will far exceed the level of care they provided you during your time of need. They will provide you with the bare minimum, while expecting lavish treatment in return.

Conclusion: The Narcissist Doesn’t Care

No matter how they act when you’re sick, the truth is that the narcissist doesn’t care about your illness. They’re not really concerned about your well-being, and they’re not interested in providing support during this time.

The narcissist will likely feel annoyed by your poor health, as it means you cannot fully dedicate yourself to fulfilling his every request. He will likely punish you by using manipulation, psychological manipulation, or insults to make you feel guilty.

If he shows any signs of caring, it is because he has something to gain from it, such as looking good in front of others or using his attention as an opportunity to get a favor from you.

Most importantly, do not burden yourself with unrealistic expectations. If you expect the narcissist to be truly loving and caring, you will be disappointed.