The idea of someone being both a narcissist and an empath may seem contradictory. After all, narcissists are generally known for their lack of empathy and self-centered behavior, while empaths are characterized by their deep sensitivity to the emotions of others. These two terms seem to describe opposing personality traits. However, in the complexities of human psychology, it’s worth exploring whether a narcissist can exhibit behaviors associated with empathy or even appear as empathic under certain circumstances.
Understanding Narcissism
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. It exists on a spectrum, ranging from healthy levels of self-confidence to pathological levels of grandiosity, often referred to as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with NPD typically view relationships in terms of what they can gain, often manipulating others to satisfy their own needs. This lack of emotional connection or care for others’ well-being is a core trait of narcissism.
The key traits of a narcissist often include:
Grandiosity: An exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Entitlement: A belief that they deserve special treatment.
Lack of Empathy: An inability or unwillingness to recognize or understand the feelings of others.
Manipulative Behavior: Using others to achieve their own ends.
Fragile Self-Esteem: Despite outward confidence, narcissists often have a fragile ego that depends on external validation.
Given these traits, the notion of a narcissist also being an empath may seem highly unlikely.
What Is an Empath?
An empath, in contrast, is someone who is highly sensitive to the emotions and energy of others. They are often deeply compassionate, able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and may even feel the physical or emotional pain of those around them. Empaths tend to have strong intuitive abilities and are drawn to helping others, sometimes to their own detriment.
Common traits of an empath include:
Emotional Sensitivity: The ability to deeply feel others’ emotions.
Intuition: A natural ability to sense what others are feeling or thinking.
Compassion: A strong drive to help and heal others.
Energy Absorption: A tendency to absorb the emotions or energy of others, which can be overwhelming.
Empaths are known for their selflessness, a trait that is starkly opposed to the self-centeredness of narcissists.
The Concept of the “Narcissistic Empath”
Although narcissism and empathy seem like opposing traits, some individuals may display behaviors that resemble both. This is where the concept of a “narcissistic empath” comes into play. Such a person may have developed narcissistic tendencies as a defense mechanism due to past trauma but also possesses a strong sense of empathy. In this context, the term doesn’t refer to someone who is both truly narcissistic and empathic in a genuine sense but rather someone who may appear empathic in certain situations while also exhibiting narcissistic behaviors in others.
Related : Why Violence & Revenge Don’t Solve Narcissism
How a Narcissist Can Mimic Empathy
One of the more complex aspects of narcissism is the ability of some narcissists to mimic empathy when it serves their interests. This is referred to as cognitive empathy, where a person can understand someone else’s emotions without actually feeling them. Narcissists with high cognitive empathy can often appear caring and compassionate, but this empathy is often used for manipulation rather than genuine concern.
For example:
Feigning Compassion: A narcissist might seem to care about someone’s problems, but their underlying motive is to gain trust or admiration.
Mirroring: Narcissists may mimic the emotional responses of those around them, giving the illusion of empathy, but it’s a tool for control or self-advancement.
Emotional Intelligence: While not inherently empathic, many narcissists have a high level of emotional intelligence, allowing them to read social situations well and exploit others’ emotions.
While these behaviors can give the appearance of empathy, they are often strategic and self-serving.
Vulnerable Narcissists and Emotional Sensitivity
It’s important to recognize that not all narcissists fit the stereotype of the arrogant, cold-hearted individual. Vulnerable narcissists, for instance, can be emotionally sensitive and introspective, but their sensitivity often revolves around how others perceive them. They may experience shame, insecurity, and even periods of self-doubt, but this emotional sensitivity is typically directed inward, not outward toward others.
Vulnerable narcissists may appear more emotionally attuned than grandiose narcissists, but their empathy remains limited because their emotional world is still self-centered. They may exhibit what appears to be empathy, but it’s often reactive, based on how others’ emotions impact their own self-esteem.
Empathy as a Tool for Manipulation
In some cases, narcissists may actively use their understanding of others’ emotions as a weapon of manipulation. Known as covert narcissists, these individuals can appear kind, generous, and even empathetic on the surface, but their actions are driven by a need for control and validation. They may use empathy as a way to bond with people, drawing them in before revealing their true intentions.
Covert narcissists may even deceive themselves into thinking they are caring and empathetic, using their so-called “empathy” as justification for their actions. However, true empathy—an ability to genuinely connect with others’ emotional experiences—is typically absent in narcissistic personalities.
The Unlikely Combination
While it’s theoretically possible for someone to exhibit both narcissistic traits and empathic tendencies, it’s rare for these traits to coexist in a genuine and balanced way. Narcissism, by its very nature, undermines the ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level. Even when a narcissist displays behaviors that seem empathetic, those behaviors are usually shallow or self-serving.
Related : Two Things To Do When the Narcissist is Your Employer
In contrast, empaths are driven by a desire to help others and often struggle with setting boundaries. This is why empaths are frequently drawn to narcissists—narcissists’ need for admiration pairs with the empath’s desire to heal and support. Unfortunately, this dynamic often leads to toxic relationships where the empath gives endlessly while the narcissist takes advantage of their compassion.
Conclusion
Can a narcissist also be an empath? The answer lies in understanding the fundamental differences between the two. While narcissists can sometimes display behaviors that mimic empathy, these are typically tools for manipulation rather than genuine emotional connection. True empathy requires vulnerability and a deep connection to others’ emotions, traits that narcissists inherently struggle with due to their self-centered nature.
However, individuals are complex, and some may show traits that blend narcissism and emotional sensitivity. But in most cases, the narcissist’s lack of true empathy makes it difficult for them to form meaningful connections in the way that empaths do. Ultimately, while a narcissist may seem empathic at times, their actions are likely motivated by self-interest rather than genuine care for others.
