Narcissists are often seen as individuals who require constant admiration and validation. While this need for attention might lead people to assume narcissists would avoid each other, it’s not uncommon for narcissists to form relationships with one another. Here are six reasons why narcissists might enjoy dating other narcissists:
1. Mutual Admiration
Narcissists crave admiration, and dating someone with similar tendencies can create an atmosphere of mutual admiration. Both partners are often preoccupied with their self-image and enjoy complimenting each other, reinforcing their inflated sense of self-worth. In this dynamic, they can exchange praise, allowing each to feel validated without much external input.
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2. Shared Values on Superiority
Narcissists believe they are special or superior to others. When two narcissists date, they often share a similar worldview that reinforces this sense of superiority. They may bond over their belief that they are better than others, finding comfort in a partner who reflects and reinforces this mindset. This mutual belief in their uniqueness can foster a sense of unity, as both feel understood and appreciated.
3. Surface-Level Compatibility
Narcissists are drawn to those who mirror their values, and on the surface, two narcissists may appear compatible. Both enjoy the finer things in life, prioritize appearances, and often have an intense focus on success. This alignment in values can create initial attraction and excitement. Both partners tend to feed off each other’s desire for status and recognition, making them seem like the perfect match—at least at first glance.
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4. Power Struggles Can Be Exciting
While power struggles are a common problem in relationships involving narcissists, for some, these struggles can actually add excitement. Two narcissists may enjoy the constant battle for dominance, viewing it as a challenge that keeps the relationship dynamic and engaging. The competition for control can become a game, where each partner attempts to outshine the other, adding a layer of intrigue and unpredictability to the relationship.
5. Emotional Detachment Feels Safer
Narcissists often have trouble with genuine emotional intimacy, as vulnerability feels threatening to them. When two narcissists date, they both may prefer relationships that remain on a more superficial level. Neither partner pushes the other for deeper emotional connection, which can feel safer for both. Their mutual emotional detachment allows them to maintain the image-focused dynamic they’re more comfortable with.
6. A Shared Desire for Social Status
Narcissists often place a high value on social status, image, and material success. In a relationship with another narcissist, both partners may work together to project an idealized version of their lives to others. They may compete to be the most glamorous or successful couple in their social circles, supporting each other’s need for admiration and envy from others. This shared goal can reinforce their bond, as both are focused on outward appearances.
Conclusion
While a relationship between two narcissists may seem doomed due to their self-centered tendencies, there are elements of narcissistic behavior that can lead to attraction and even short-term success in such partnerships. From mutual admiration to shared goals, narcissists may find a level of understanding and compatibility in one another. However, these relationships are often fragile, as the same traits that initially attract them to each other—such as competition for superiority—can ultimately lead to conflict and dysfunction.
