Many families suffer from narcissism. I use the word plague because it sounds like a disease that runs through the weak bonds between different family members. When you are part of a narcissistic family, the effects it leaves behind are devastating. There will be times when you feel like the life is being sucked out of you.
When a parent is narcissistic, children sometimes follow suit, learning the ways of the world from their mother or father, and may even become narcissists themselves. Another common reaction to being raised by a narcissistic parent is to become dependent on each other, something I have experienced in the past. Whether you are part of a narcissistic family or in a relationship with a narcissist, being on the receiving end of a narcissist’s behavior will leave you exhausted and drained.
No matter how good your sibling, partner, or narcissistic parent may be, the nature of narcissistic interactions is to get deep inside you by violating your boundaries and manipulating you to the point of exhaustion. When I was in close contact with narcissists in my life, I felt like so much had been taken away from me on an emotional level that I had nothing left to offer. I had nothing left to offer myself. But the narcissist doesn’t care. All of their attention is directed outward and they feed on the reactions of others. It’s an insatiable appetite that can never be satisfied.
Why do narcissists drain your energy so quickly and leave you exhausted?
- Boundary Violation.
I choose to have people in my life who respect my boundaries. Once I’ve been around a narcissist, I find it extremely difficult to stand up for my boundaries—even when I have a clear idea of what’s right and wrong. This is because narcissists don’t respect boundaries at all. They invade. They ignore your right to privacy, activities, and opinions that differ from theirs. Not being heard or respected is exhausting.
- Living in fear.
Narcissists often get what they want—which is always their ultimate goal—by being overtly aggressive or passive-aggressive toward others. People around them become afraid to say or do something that would trigger the narcissist’s aggression. Living in a state of fear is mentally and physically harmful on almost every level.
- Being swept up in secrets and manipulative behaviors.
Narcissistic families thrive on lies, secrets, manipulative behaviors, and emotional manipulation. If you’re not the type who thrives on constant drama, being swept up in a narcissist’s web will leave you feeling trapped and frustrated. Sometimes, all you can do is sit back and wait for the spider to strike.
- Never Being Enough.
Narcissists never feel like enough is enough. They always want more attention. They always want to create more chaos among the people around them. They want more and more of you. Befriend a narcissist and they’ll want you to be their best friend. Tell them a secret once and they’ll get upset if you don’t share every intimate aspect of your life with them from then on. You can never meet a narcissist’s needs—but you can die of exhaustion in the process of trying.
