If your partner can’t change a frame, you wonder how practical they are. If they can’t apologize, you wonder about their humility.
Yes, dating is a complicated dance.
But let’s be honest, it’s not just about what they can do, but also what they can’t do. Here are 7 specific things that if someone can’t do, you should think twice before dating them.
Don’t worry, I’ve been there and I’ve got your back. Let’s dive into these together.
1) Apologize
We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. It’s part of life.
But when someone can’t admit their mistakes and sincerely apologize, it’s a sign that they may not value other people’s feelings.
Imagine a relationship where your partner never admits they’re wrong, or never apologizes when they’ve hurt you. That’s a one-way ticket to resentment city.
Apologizing shows maturity, humility, and empathy. And if someone can’t do that? Well, you might want to reconsider whether they’re worth your time.
No apologies, no second dates. It’s that simple.
2) Listen
Communication is a two-way street, and it’s something I learned the hard way.
I remember dating someone great at sharing their thoughts and feelings, but when it came to listening to mine, it was like talking to a brick wall.
I would share something about my day or express a concern, and they would either interrupt me, check their phones or turn the conversation back to them. It felt like my words were just background noise to them.
It was exhausting and left me feeling unheard and unappreciated.
In a relationship, everyone deserves to be heard. If they can’t lend you an ear and show genuine interest in what you have to say, that’s a big red flag.
Remember, a good listener doesn’t just stay quiet when you’re talking—they engage, empathize, and make you feel seen.
3) Compromise
In a relationship, you and your partner are bound to disagree. Not only is this inevitable, it’s healthy. After all, variety is the spice of life.
However, a relationship where one person always gets their way can quickly become one-sided and unfair.
Compromise is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s about finding common ground, a solution that satisfies both parties.
Did you know that research shows that couples who compromise are happier and have longer-lasting relationships?
So if they can’t meet you halfway, it’s time to let them go. Compromise isn’t just a virtue; it’s a necessity in a relationship.
4) Respect Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial in any relationship, whether it’s friendships, family, or romantic relationships. They help maintain a sense of individuality and personal space.
If someone continues to disrespect your boundaries, it says a lot about their lack of respect for you as an individual.
Whether it’s privacy, personal space, or the need for alone time—if they can’t respect the boundaries you’ve set, it’s a clear sign that they don’t value your needs and feelings.
A relationship that doesn’t respect boundaries is like a house without walls—there’s no structure or security.
5) Value Your Time
Time is one of the most precious things we have, and how we choose to spend it says a lot about us.
I’ve learned from past relationships that when someone constantly cancels plans or keeps you waiting, it’s more than just bad timing or forgetfulness. It’s disrespecting your time and therefore disrespecting you.
I’ve sat in restaurants alone, staring at my watch, and spent evenings waiting for a call that never came. It doesn’t feel right, trust me.
If they don’t value your time, how can they value you as a person? Remember, actions speak louder than words. If they’re always late or canceling at the last minute, it’s time to reconsider whether they’re worth your precious time.
6) Enjoy Their Company
It may sound strange, but someone who can’t enjoy their own company can be a red flag.
We often think of relationships as two people constantly together, sharing every moment. But the truth is, it’s equally important for both parties to feel comfortable being alone.
Why? Because someone who can’t be alone may rely heavily on their partner for their happiness and entertainment. This can lead to an unhealthy dependency, and trust me, carrying someone else’s emotional well-being on your shoulders is a heavy burden.
So if they’re always clinging to you, and always needing your attention, it could be a sign that they need to learn how to be content with their own company first before they can truly contribute to a healthy relationship.
7) Be Kind to Others
Kindness isn’t just about how someone treats you; it’s also about how they treat others.
If someone is kind to you but rude to the waiter, or nice when you’re alone but harsh in front of friends, that speaks volumes about their character.
Kindness shouldn’t be selective. It’s a universal language that should extend to everyone, regardless of their status or relationship to the person.
If they can’t consistently be nice to others, that’s a clear warning sign. After all, today’s waiter could be you tomorrow. Remember, your true colors aren’t revealed by how they treat their peers, but by how they treat those they perceive as inferior to them.
Always keep an eye on how your potential partner treats others. It’s a window into their true character.
Final Thoughts
Hopefully, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve realized that dating is more than just shared interests and physical attraction. It’s about respect, compromise, and a shared sense of emotional responsibility.
Remember that the right person will value your time, respect your boundaries, and show you kindness, not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard, too.
Because ultimately, love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s also about being the right person.
And if someone can’t do these things, they may not be the right person for you. But that’s okay because recognizing these warning signs is the first step toward finding the right person.
So, as you venture back into the world of dating, remember these points. And reflect on them. Most importantly, don’t settle for less than you deserve.
Because you deserve it.
