If you’ve ever wondered whether men or women are more narcissistic, the scientific evidence is there, and men “win.”
Before discussing why we can confidently make this statement, it’s worth reviewing the terminology: People with the narcissistic trait tend to be self-centered, exploitative, low in empathy, and need attention. However, it’s important to realize that not all narcissists are equally convinced of their own grandiosity. “Vulnerable” narcissists carry a weak self-image beneath their veneer of self-confidence. In contrast, those who tend toward the exploitative end of the communicator seem to have a stronger sense of their own (wonderful, they think) qualities.
Whether a narcissist is vulnerable or exploitative, they are likely to expend a great deal of energy on looking good to others, which in turn requires a certain amount of grooming and preparation. Narcissists do indeed like to look at themselves in the mirror and invest a great deal of time and money in their appearance.
If you take a cursory look at the sexist marketing of cosmetics, clothing, and other appearance-enhancing products, you’ll see that women are deserving of the narcissism award. However, if you stop and scan the drugstore aisles and department stores for products aimed at men, you’ll see plenty of products aimed at narcissistic males. The desire to look good can take a different form for men than it does for women. Consider a simple example of footwear: Men will spend hundreds of dollars on colorful sneakers promoted by a sports icon if they think they’ll make them look “cool.” At the other end of the casual clothing spectrum, a suit for a man typically costs two to three times as much as a woman. And we won’t even begin to talk about cars designed to appeal to men’s masculine instincts, designer jewelry, and hair appointments.
But that’s just anecdotal evidence—what do the psychological data say? State University of New York at Buffalo psychologist Emily Grijalva (2015) and her team of collaborators analyzed data from more than half a million adults studied from 1990 to 2013 using the well-established Narcissistic Personality Scale. Not only were Grijalva and her team able to examine gender differences, they also had the data to look for trends over the 23 years of research on gender differences across age groups, and on age trends in general.
The Narcissistic Personality Scale goes beyond self-indulgence to examine the darker side of narcissistic personality tendencies:
The darkest is the exploitative/entitlement factor, which is associated with a range of negative behaviors including aggression, unproductive work behaviors, cheating, and expecting others to repay perceived slights (being “narcissistically wounded”). Leadership/authority is the second component of the NPI, which refers to an individual’s desire to lead and exercise power over others. People who score high on this component agree with statements such as “I prefer to be a leader” and “I like to have power over people.”
Third, the grandiosity/exhibition factor measures what you might readily associate with narcissism—arrogance, self-absorption, a claim to superiority, and a desire to show off. Items on this scale include “I like to display my body” and “I like to be the center of attention.”
These components fit the profile of an overt narcissist who has, or appears to have, an inflated self-view. As described above, the vulnerable narcissist, in contrast, has a facade of narcissism built on an internal sense of inadequacy. Turning to another highly regarded test, the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) allowed Grijalva and his team to examine the vulnerability pole of the narcissism dimension in separate analyses.
This background explains why it is theoretically possible for men to outperform women on at least two, if not all three, of the narcissistic traits. If for no other reason than the socialization of gender roles, where men are expected to display dominance, leadership, and aggression, male narcissistic behavior can be highly socially rewarding. Women may be punished for trying to outdo their male partners, at work or at home. Exhibitionism, conversely, may be more rewarding for women, because they may be pressured to display their bodies to their advantage in order to attract romantic partners. Vulnerability may also be a “female thing” because the socialization many girls experience may cause them to doubt or question their own abilities.
But how do the data confirm these predictions? Through the magic of meta-analysis, a sophisticated statistical technique for sifting through vast amounts of data, Grijalva and his team crunched statistics from hundreds of studies with hundreds of thousands of participants over the course of the 23-year study. Men outperformed women not only on the first two measures, but on all three NPI scales that address the exploitative, dominant, and grandiose aspects of narcissism. Men were particularly likely to score high on the exploitative/entitlement scale than women, but overall, men came out on top or behind, depending on how you look at narcissistic tendencies. Perhaps surprisingly, men and women came out on equal footing on the weak pole of the narcissism dimension; feelings of insecurity are not unique to women. Moreover, there were no age differences within the gender gap in narcissism. An older male narcissist was just as likely to worry about his receding hairline as his older female counterpart was about her wrinkles. This is particularly interesting in light of the gender similarity in this sensitive component of narcissism.
Finally, Grijalva’s analysis supported other studies, where scores from more recent studies of college students (with millennials as participants) were in the range of those from older studies. Thus, narcissism does not show a gender gap, nor does it appear to be a particular problem among young people today.
There are important practical implications for the findings, according to Grijalva and her team: Perhaps most important, men’s higher entitlement scores may drive the ongoing gender pay gap. Men, especially those at the higher end of the exploitativeness dimension, have no problem demanding the pay they believe they deserve. On the other hand, because exploitative narcissism is associated with unproductive work behaviors, men may also be more likely to engage in aggressive behaviors that jeopardize their career advancement.
There’s nothing particularly nice about extreme narcissism, but there may be some distinct advantages in a world that rewards self-promotion and dominance. What’s more, there are healthy forms of narcissism that can boost your resilience and self-esteem. However, if you realize that you are the highly exploitative narcissistic male, or the partner of one, these advantages can quickly turn into obstacles. Recognizing the source of these tendencies is the best way to tame them and even use them to your advantage.
