If you’re worried you’re a narcissist… you’re probably not.
That’s because, in my experience, people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or a narcissistic pattern rarely question or worry about their narcissism.
Narcissists generally:
Have little interest in self-reflection
Don’t want to know, or even care, that they might be a narcissist
Justify any narcissistic behavior they exhibit
If you’re worried, read the following 24 statements drawn from my clinical experience and research that are typical of people with narcissism. Identify which statements describe you most or all of the time:
I expect special treatment in life
I get angry if I feel insulted or disrespected
I see most people as “losers”
I don’t believe in apologizing or accepting blame
I will do anything to avoid feeling flawed or illegitimate
I lack empathy for others
I need to be noticed and admired
I am quick to replace partners when a relationship ends
I see the world in black and white in terms of right and wrong
I find fault with almost everyone I know
I would rather talk than listen
I see no problem in manipulating others if it gets me what I want
I am quick to hold grudges and slow to forgive
I despise most people
I rarely make mistakes
I am jealous of other people’s good fortune
I get angry or withdrawn when I don’t get what I want
I seek to punish others who disappoint me
I have few truly close friends
I exploit others to get my way
I bully others to get what I want
I demand absolute loyalty from those close to me
Most rules Don’t apply to me
Most people want to be like me
While many people might say that a handful of these statements describe their thoughts or behaviors from time to time, unless you answered yes to at least a third of these questions (eight out of 24), it’s unlikely that you have strong narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder.
On the other hand, if you answered yes to eight or more of these questions, you may have unhealthy narcissistic tendencies. The more you answer yes, the more pronounced your narcissism is. If this concerns you, you may want to seek counseling from a qualified therapist.
You can also take a well-used and well-documented test, the Narcissistic Personality Test, to gauge whether you have unhealthy narcissism.
However unhealthy narcissism is a pervasive and persistent pattern of doing many or most of the behaviors listed above in a variety of situations.
Just as you can use this checklist to check for narcissistic personality disorder, you can also use these questions to determine whether someone in your life might be a narcissist.
