Pain is a teacher, but most of us are poor students.
The truth is, a big part of making life the way we want it to be is starting to recognize life as it is:
Unfortunately, many of us learn life’s lessons too late to fully apply them.
That’s why gaining deeper insights into the most fundamental and crucial life lessons that most people learn too late is so important.
There’s never too early or too late to start, so let’s get started!
1) Self-worth comes from within
Many of us grow up without the validation and support we need.
We grow up without a solid example and role model in many cases and fail to learn that true self-worth comes from within.
It doesn’t come from the car we drive or the price of our clothes, it doesn’t come from how much people like us who we date, or whether or not we have a good job.
It comes from within.
2) Time is limited and life is short
When we’re young, we tend to feel like life will go on forever.
As mortality becomes more apparent, most of us do our best to push it away and focus on enjoying life instead.
That’s a good thing because life is meant to be enjoyed! But it’s also important to remember that time is limited and short.
It’s important to focus on achieving our goals and keep moving forward without getting paralyzed by anxiety and uncertainty.
As psychologist Brooke Schulte notes:
“Many people are paralyzed by fear and anxiety, worrying about the future and various unknowns. High performers can turn uncertainty and/or anxiety into actionable things.”
3) Relationships are more important than wealth
Having money is important in this world, but it’s a tool, not an end goal.
Money is essential to our survival and well-being, but it won’t keep us warm at night or provide exciting conversations.
Relationships are what matter most, and as we grow older and lose our health, we’ll be most affected by those we love.
Relationships and family ties are what truly connect us and stand the test of time.
4) If You Don’t Adapt, You’ll Be Left Behind
The only constant in life is change.
It often requires us to adapt and transform in many ways, and refusing to do so can leave us behind.
Adaption is essential to life, relationships, and mental and physical health.
As psychology writer Kristen Mikoff notes:
“Highly successful people see change as an opportunity, not an intrusion. They recognize that circumstances they cannot control are occurring, yet they optimize and leverage change to their advantage.”
5) The More You Give, the More You Get
No matter what your beliefs about karma are, life provides countless examples of the benefits of being a giver:
When we give our energy and time to a project, it begins to grow and more people join in, help, and give.
When we commit to a relationship, we extend an invitation to others to commit as well.
It’s a two-way street: you get what you sow.
6) Health is our most valuable currency
Despite the advances in medical technology, there is no magic pill that will make you fit and healthy.
Exercise, a healthy diet, and a harmonious lifestyle have never been more important than they are these days.
When we care about our health, we are investing in projects that will pay off for decades to come.
“CRISPR technology is amazing, but gene therapies don’t solve most modern health problems. Research conclusively shows, for example, that less than half of our lifespan can be explained by genetic factors,” explains psychiatry professor Thomas Rutledge, Ph.D.
This ties into the next point…
7) Self-Care Is an Indispensable Part of Life
There is no substitute for self-care.
It is an indispensable part of life and preparing to face the world.
Part of being able to give and put your heart and soul into things is taking the time to rest, reflect, and heal through self-care.
Without taking care of ourselves, we cannot take care of others.
8) Learning Is a Lifelong Process
Learning never stops.
Graduation is the beginning of a deeper study session that occurs throughout your life:
We are always growing, changing, and absorbing new information, perspectives, and experiences.
That’s a good thing. It brings us tremendous rewards and growth when we are open to continuing to learn throughout our lives from the new experiences we have and the new people we meet.
9) Consistency Overcomes Inspiration
The next thing that often comes too late in life is consistency over inspiration:
While having big dreams is important, it can’t be a substitute for having a routine.
Ultimately, a daily routine will be more effective and lead to more fulfilling results.
By choosing habits that will ultimately lead to improvement, they make themselves more effective and complete people.
As Meikhoff says:
“They recognize the daily practices that not only enhance their daily performance, but also lead to the achievement of their goals, and they practice these habits consistently.”
10) Self-discipline pays off more than indulgence
This relates to the previous point and is something many of us learn very late in life after we’ve already squandered so much potential.
The lesson is that self-discipline is crucial in every area of life.
From diet and exercise to managing emotions and career, learning self-discipline and self-mastery is vital.
It makes everything in life more manageable.
11) Long-term goals bring greater rewards than short-term goals
There are short-term goals that are worthwhile and many larger goals have short-term components, of course.
But putting things off until later and delaying gratification is a very rewarding prospect.
By setting a long-term goal, we can accept and weather many storms along the way and deal with many difficulties on the road to achievement.
“People who have high hopes are also creative problem solvers,” says Dan Tomasulo, Ph.D., TEP. “When faced with a challenge, they don’t give up easily.
Instead, they come up with creative solutions that help them overcome the obstacles in their path.”
12) Don’t Take Others for Granted
Life is short and many of the people we care about the most can become such a daily part of our lives that we take them for granted.
This is one of the saddest things when someone goes through a breakup, a family loss, or a breakup with a friend because they took them for granted.
Life is short, and relationships are more important than wealth, which is why it’s so important to realize that our friends and loved ones are worth so much more than their price in gold.
The joy we bring into their lives and the joy they bring into ours is a beautiful thing, even if there are some rough patches!
13) Sometimes Saying No Is the Best Option
There are times in life when saying no is the best option.
While it’s good to please people, be helpful, and be there, it can certainly go too far.
When people-pleasing becomes a way of life and reaches its extreme, it can lead you to forget about your dreams and start living your life more for others than for yourself.
This is a mistake.
“You can’t agree to too many things before you run out of gas,” notes psychology professor Heidi Reeder, Ph.D.
14) Being true to yourself is more important than external approval or popularity
Life often offers short-term benefits and rewards to those who are willing to give in or try to be the popular type in society.
But life is too short to try to be someone else or worry about what others think, and any love or friendship you gain under pretenses is not worth much.
It’s also important to spend time with positive, can-do people who help us realize our potential and value.
Tomasulo notes that these people tend to spend more time socializing with people who share an optimistic, proactive attitude.
15) Failure is rarely final
Many of us take a huge hit to our self-esteem when we fail, get rejected, or go through a long period of inactivity or stagnation.
Failure is rarely final and can often be the stepping stone to further learning and knowledge:
Instead of spending months or years in self-doubt and negativity, learning to see failure as an exercise in resilience is a great idea.
“While they recognize their disappointment, they don’t dwell on the negativity,” Meikhoff explains.
“They overcome pessimism with optimism and gratitude for the people who help them overcome obstacles.”
