When you see a couple holding hands, it’s easy to assume they’re in love. And when they’re laughing, it’s natural to assume they’re genuinely happy.
But let’s face it — not all that glitters is gold.
The human heart is a complex maze, and trying to decipher its language can feel like solving an endless puzzle. Sometimes, behind the polished facade of a seemingly perfect couple, there may be hidden cracks and untold stories.
Some couples become experts at pretending to be in love, even when the reality is far from romantic. They often exhibit subtle behaviors that reveal the truth behind the facade when observed.
Welcome to the complex world of hidden feelings and deceptive love, where things aren’t always what they seem.
1) Lack of True Intimacy
Remember those couples who seem to be in love, but something’s off?
Their laughter is a bit exaggerated, their gestures are a bit exaggerated. It’s like they’re playing characters in a romance movie, but the script doesn’t quite fit them.
True intimacy is not just about physical closeness, it’s also about emotional and mental connections. It’s about understanding and empathizing with each other’s feelings.
But in these couples, the connection is lacking or superficial at best. They may hug and hold hands in public, but their eyes don’t meet with the same warmth and understanding.
They play the part, but the real intimacy that makes love strong and unique is missing.
2) Their conversations are superficial
I remember a couple I knew. To the world, they seemed like the perfect couple. Always together, always smiling. But when you sit with them, their conversations are superficial, never delving into anything deep or personal.
They would talk about the weather, about work, about the latest movie or TV show, but they never talked about their feelings or their relationship. It was as if they had built a barrier that prevented any real emotional connection.
Once, I asked them about their feelings for each other. Instead of answering directly, they laughed and changed the subject. It was clear that they avoided any meaningful conversation about their relationship.
3) They avoid conflict at all costs
Conflict is no fun, but it is a natural part of any relationship. It is how we grow, learn about each other, and ultimately strengthen our bond.
When disagreements arise, they ignore them or make quick concessions just to keep the peace. This avoidance may seem like a good thing on the surface, but it is detrimental to the relationship.
Studies show that avoiding conflict can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in the long run. It creates an emotional distance between partners where their feelings and opinions are suppressed, resulting in a superficial relationship with no depth or real understanding.
4) They rarely plan for the future together
Have you noticed how couples in love can’t stop talking about their future together? They make plans, dream, and imagine their life together.
But when couples are just pretending to be in love, their plans are often vague or nonexistent. They live in the present, avoiding any discussions about long-term commitments or shared dreams.
It seems as though they are reluctant to tie their future together too tightly, keeping their options open. This lack of planning for a shared future is another subtle sign that they may not be as in love as they seem.
5) They don’t share their vulnerabilities
However, I’ve noticed that couples who only pretend to be in love often avoid this level of openness. They maintain a polished facade, too afraid to reveal any cracks or signs of weakness. It’s as if they’re constantly wearing a mask, fearing what might happen if they let their guard down.
Psychological studies support this observation. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships highlights that true intimacy is built on vulnerability, where partners feel safe to express their true selves without fear of judgment.
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Conversely, when vulnerability is absent, it often indicates underlying issues or a lack of deep emotional connection. According to the American Psychological Association, couples who avoid showing vulnerability are more likely to struggle with trust and emotional intimacy, which are essential to a healthy relationship.
6) They’re Overly Emotional in Public
You’d think that couples who are overly emotional in public are madly in love with each other, right? Well, not necessarily. Sometimes, couples who are just pretending to be in love may be overcompensating by overdoing it in public.
It’s like putting on a show for the world to see, trying to convince others (and maybe even themselves) that they’re deeply in love. But behind closed doors, they can be distant and detached.
This overt display of affection may be another subtle sign that they are not as in love as they seem. It’s not about the quantity of affection, it’s about the quality.
7) They Prioritize Their Individual Needs Over the Relationship
In a healthy, loving relationship, couples often prioritize the needs of the relationship over their individual needs. They understand the importance of compromise and making sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
However, couples who are only pretending to be in love often prioritize their individual needs and desires. They make decisions based on what’s best for them as individuals, rather than what’s best for the relationship.
Their actions and decisions are selfish, often ignoring how they may impact their partner or the relationship as a whole. This focus on self over the relationship is another subtle behavior that indicates they may be faking love.
8) They Lack Mutual Respect
Respect is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Without it, love struggles to survive, let alone thrive. Unfortunately, couples who are only pretending to be in love often overlook this crucial element.
You may notice that they subtly belittle each other, dismiss their partner’s feelings, or constantly undermine each other’s opinions and decisions. These behaviors may seem minor at first, but they are glaring signs that respect—a key component of any lasting relationship—is missing.
According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, respect is the foundation for mutual trust and satisfaction in a relationship.
When respect is absent, it’s not just love that suffers. A study by the American Psychological Association suggests that relationships that lack respect are more likely to experience conflict, dissatisfaction, and emotional distance.
Final Thoughts
As we navigate the complexities of relationships, we must remember that love is not just about grand gestures and emotional declarations. It’s also about subtle behaviors, quiet moments of understanding, and a deep respect for each other.
Falling in love isn’t about pretending or making a show. It’s about authenticity, vulnerability, and mutual growth.
Remember, “We are most alive when we are in love,” as John Updike once said. But to be truly alive, this love must be real.
As you navigate your relationships, watch for these subtle signs. They may reveal more than you realize.
And perhaps most importantly, let them remind you of the kind of love you deserve—a love that is real, respectful, and deeply intimate.
