I’ve always admired those lovable people who seem to be instantly welcomed by everyone. They somehow manage to never offend and seem friendly at all times.
That’s not me. Why? First, I’ve concluded that I’m not that nice.
Far from being neutral, I have strong personality traits that people either like or find extremely annoying.
Am I a divisive person? And if so, is that a bad thing?
Here are 15 personality traits of divisive people — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
What does it mean to be a divisive person?
If a divisive person were a food, it would probably be olives, anchovies, or Vegemite. They have a strong flavor that not everyone likes.
A divisive person is a divisive person who tends to divide opinions. Or you either love them or hate them.
It could be someone’s thoughts and beliefs, or just the way they act, that makes them polarizing.
Perhaps the most polarizing person in recent times has been former President Donald Trump.
Instead of being moderately liked by many, a polarizing personality is usually loved by some and hated by others.
What are the characteristics of polarization?
1) People tend to either love you or hate you
One of the most defining characteristics of a polarizing person is the love-hate relationship people have with them.
Not literally, of course (well, hopefully not). But if you’re polarizing, you’re likely to find that some people think you’re amazing, inspiring, wise, funny, and thought-provoking, while others think you’re selfish, rude, loud, annoying, bigoted, attention-seeking, etc.
Your personality traits tend to sit on one side of the spectrum rather than somewhere in the middle.
This means that you won’t be to everyone’s taste.
If someone has these traits, then they’re going to have a good day, and they’re going to think you’re a great person and treat them like a sport.
On the other hand, if these extreme personality traits aren’t someone else’s, you may find yourself clashing with them, and your popularity will be no more popular than a visit to the dentist.
2) You prefer authenticity over popularity
True story. When I was a kid one day on my way to school, one of my classmates dropped some trash on the floor.
To seem “cool” (at least in those days when kids were less environmentally conscious), I should have said nothing at all. But I couldn’t help it.
Instead, I stepped in and announced that “if everyone decided to throw trash, we’d be walking to school in the trash.”
Polarized people tend to be more interested in telling the truth as they see it than in gaining popularity.
Rather than staying quiet to avoid upsetting anyone, you’re more likely to say it as you see it. This can mean sharing unpopular opinions at times.
At its best, this trait can inspire change, healthy debate, and a new way of looking at things. At its worst, it can mean being unnecessarily argumentative, tactless, or pretentious.
It all depends on whether you’re a trendsetter or just a smartass.
3) You stand out rather than blend in
Remember Björk? The Icelandic singer with an eclectic musical style (well, she had an eclectic style in everything, really).
It wasn’t just her unconventional songs, like “It’s Oh So Quiet,” that made her stand out from the crowd.
It was her strange and surprising ways of speaking, behaving, and dressing, too. Her eccentric and over-the-top tastes could be described as attention-seeking. Like the time she wore a swan-shaped dress to the Oscars.
Often depicted in elaborate stage costumes, and with experimental music that could never be described as easy listening, Björk was never going to blend in.
But her unique and unapologetic ways, while perhaps controversial to the mainstream, also managed to charm the world.
She became the first Icelandic celebrity to achieve real fame abroad.
The things that made them so annoying to some people were also what made them so special and hard to ignore.
The quirkiness that makes controversial people stand out is often what makes them so iconic.
4) You’re Not Afraid to Speak Up
Controversial people are often the first to speak up and give their opinion at a business meeting, or a bar.
They’ll happily participate, offering their thoughts on the topic at hand.
On the plus side, you’re likely to be surrounded by lively discussion and interesting conversation. You can be a great asset to a team, willingly contributing.
On the negative side, you may be prone to being overpowered by others with a “have it or leave it” attitude towards your opinions and beliefs.
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You may find that some of your unpopular opinions can get you in trouble.
Offering your opinions is a good thing, but when polarizing people try to force their views on others, they may tend to try to control things.
When polarized people believe their agenda is impressive and inspiring, they prefer to be in charge and direct things in the way they think is best.
5) You’re Decisive
Since polarized people aren’t known for sitting on the fence, you’re likely a decisive person.
This helps with your strong thinking styles. Having a clear vision and set of beliefs means that you already know what you think and feel about something.
As a result, you don’t have to deliberate endlessly and can make decisions quickly, without agonizing over your options.
Being decisive is one of the reasons polarized people make strong leaders.
This clarity in decision-making and commitment can inspire confidence in others.
Of course, it’s important to remember that being a good decision-maker doesn’t mean you’re decisive. But polarized people’s decisiveness can mean that they’re less likely to miss opportunities or lack consistency due to indecision.
In his book, The Pulse of Decision, organizational psychologist Nick Tasler explains that even if the approach is to “fake it until you make it,” “decisive people give themselves a better chance of success from the start, even if they perform poorly later.”
6) You Disrupt the Status Quo
Given the opportunity, almost everyone would choose a happy, fun, easy life.
It’s not that many of us seek out disruption and trouble. But the truth is that conflict, division, and polarization are often fertile ground for change.
A certain amount of polarization seems to be a good thing. Sometimes we need to shake things up a bit to inspire transformation.
For example, research has shown that strong patterns of division are often more susceptible to change after major disruptions to the status quo.
Likewise, polarizing personalities can seem to ruffle feathers in a way that pushes boundaries. In doing so, these strong personalities can change the norm.
For better or worse, people who polarize people are more likely to inspire action.
7) Your best traits are often linked to your worst traits
I tend to think of personality traits as being on a spectrum rather than as separate characteristics.
The things we admire in someone often have less desirable side effects.
For example, the same thing that makes someone assertive and decisive can sometimes make them stubborn. The trait that makes someone else sensitive and thoughtful can sometimes make them painfully shy.
In people who polarize people, this is often more pronounced. It’s also what makes some people like them and others turn them off.
Those who admire them tend to focus on their attractive traits, while those who find fault with them notice their less desirable traits first.
The traits that made Steve Jobs, by all accounts, a nightmare to work with and got him temporarily fired from his company were the same traits that made him a highly valued employee.
It was his aggressive, controversial personality, as controversial as it was, that gave Apple its competitive advantage.
