Selfishness can have a profound impact on our relationships and interactions. Sometimes, those who are extremely selfish are unaware of the toxic behaviors they exhibit.
These behaviors often stem from a need to satisfy one’s desires, without considering the impact on others. Worse still, these individuals may not even realize the negative effects they are causing.
In this article, we’ll explore eight toxic behaviors that extremely selfish people exhibit, often without even realizing it. These insights will help you identify and address such behaviors in your personal or professional life.
1) Me First, Always
Selfish individuals are known for putting their own needs and desires above those of anyone else.
This “me first, always” mentality can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Whether it’s getting the best piece of cake, getting the most comfortable chair, or prioritizing their tasks over helping others—the basic principle remains the same.
The world, in their eyes, revolves around them. Their needs, desires, and happiness are paramount. They often fail to understand that this behavior can come across as rude and disrespectful to others around them.
This blatant disregard for the feelings and well-being of others is one of the most obvious signs of deep-seated selfishness. Interestingly, many people who exhibit this behavior ignore its toxic nature and the negative impact it has on their relationships.
2) Lack of Empathy
One of the most disturbing signs I’ve personally witnessed in deeply selfish people is their lack of empathy.
I remember an old friend of mine who always seemed unable to understand other people’s feelings or perspectives. Once, when another friend was going through a difficult breakup, instead of offering a shoulder to lean on, she turned the conversation toward her problems.
She seemed oblivious to the emotional pain our friend was going through and was more interested in discussing her recent shopping spree. This blatant disregard for others’ feelings and inability to empathize with them is a classic sign of deep-seated selfishness.
The sad part? She didn’t even realize how her behavior came about. This lack of empathy, which often goes unnoticed by the person displaying it, can be incredibly damaging to their relationships without them even realizing it.
3) Difficulty Sharing
Sharing is a fundamental aspect of human interaction. It’s how we show care, connect with others, and build healthy relationships.
But for highly selfish people, sharing can be a real struggle. They have a hard time giving up their possessions or time, even when it doesn’t cost them much.
Interestingly, research suggests that the ability to share develops early in childhood. Children who don’t learn to share at this critical age often grow up to struggle with sharing as adults.
This reluctance to share, whether it’s their possessions or their time, is another toxic behavior often seen in highly selfish individuals. And the worst part? They often don’t even realize they’re doing it.
4) Ignoring the Needs of Others
Selfish individuals tend to ignore the needs of others. They operate on the principle of “out of sight, out of mind.” If the situation doesn’t directly affect them, they often ignore it.
For example, they might plan a group activity without considering everyone’s schedule or preferences. Or they might make decisions that suit their convenience, without considering how they will affect others.
This behavior stems from a lack of consideration and empathy. While it can be incredibly toxic and destructive, these individuals often do so without realizing how selfish they are. Their lack of awareness doesn’t diminish the negative impact their behavior can have on those around them.
5) Inability to Apologize
Saying “I’m sorry” can sometimes be the hardest thing to do. It requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to admit one’s mistakes.
For selfish people, these qualities are often lacking. They find it difficult to apologize, primarily because it requires admitting that they were wrong or guilty—a concept they find hard to accept.
Their pride and selfishness make it difficult for them to see beyond their perspective. As a result, instead of apologizing for their mistakes, they justify their actions or blame others.
Their inability to apologize can strain relationships and create resentment among their peers. Unfortunately, they often do not understand the seriousness of their actions and how important it is to sincerely apologize to those they have wronged.
6) Never being satisfied with what they have
I have seen cases where extremely selfish people find it difficult to be satisfied with what they have. There is always something more they want, something better that they believe they deserve.
This reminds me of a time when I felt the same way. Even though I was living a comfortable life, I often found myself yearning for more and feeling dissatisfied with what I had. It wasn’t until I took a step back and appreciated the blessings in my life that I found true contentment.
This constant quest for more can cause highly selfish people to ignore the good in their lives. They become blind to their blessings and remain perpetually unhappy, always wanting more. The sad part? They often don’t realize that this constant discontent is a manifestation of their deep-rooted selfishness.
7) Always Playing the Victim
Playing the victim is another common behavior that highly selfish people exhibit. They have a knack for turning every situation into one about them, often portraying themselves as the victim.
This behavior allows them to manipulate situations and people to their advantage. It shifts the focus from their own mistakes or shortcomings to their own perceived suffering. It’s a cunning way to avoid responsibility for their actions.
The irony is that they often don’t see this behavior as selfish. They truly believe they are the victims, and fail to see how they manipulate situations and people around them. This lack of self-awareness makes this toxic behavior even more dangerous.
8) Lack of True Gratitude
The most profound sign of deep selfishness is a lack of true gratitude. Selfish individuals often take people and their kindness for granted. They fail to express genuine appreciation for the efforts others make on their behalf.
This ingratitude isn’t just about failing to say “thank you.” It’s about not recognizing the value of what others do for them. This lack of appreciation can damage relationships and create a toxic environment.
The saddest part? They often don’t realize how their lack of gratitude affects those around them.
Final Thoughts: It May Not Be Intentional
When exploring the maze of human behavior, it’s important to remember that extremely selfish people often don’t realize their toxic behaviors.
This lack of self-awareness doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does provide a different perspective. It offers an opportunity for understanding, and perhaps change.
Consider the famous quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.” This wisdom may offer a path to dealing with the overly selfish individuals in our lives.
Recognizing these behaviors in others or ourselves is the first step. The next step is fostering a desire to change and grow.
After all, everyone deserves the opportunity to become a better version of themselves. And sometimes, all it takes is a push in the right direction.
