There’s a clear difference between someone who lifts your spirits and someone who drains your energy.
The difference boils down to behavior. Someone who drains your energy tends to drain your energy, leaving you feeling tired and defeated, often without you even realizing it.
However, spotting these energy vampires isn’t always easy. They don’t always come with visible warning signs.
But don’t worry! I’m with you. Here are 7 telltale behaviors to look out for that indicate someone might be an energy drainer.
Now, let’s dig in and shed some light on these energy drainers, shall we?
1) They’re Constantly Negative
Do you know that person who always sees the glass as half empty? The one who, no matter what, always finds a way to turn it into a negative light?
Yes, that’s them. Energy drainers.
Negativity is like a black hole. It sucks the energy out of everything around it. And when someone is constantly negative, they drag you down that hole with them.
This isn’t to say that people can’t have bad days or tough times. We all do. But constant negativity is something else entirely. It’s a constant drain on your energy, leaving you feeling exhausted and drained.
So, if you find yourself constantly feeling down after being around someone, their constant negativity may be the cause.
It’s okay to protect your energy. Sometimes, that might mean stepping away from the negativity spiral.
2) They’re Too Demanding
Have you ever had a friend who constantly demanded your attention? Let me tell you about a former friend of mine.
This friend, let’s call him John, would call me at any moment, asking for advice on the smallest issues. John needed constant reassurance and validation. He even expected me to drop everything for him at a moment’s notice.
At first, I thought I was just a good friend, helping him through a tough time. But as the months turned into years, I started to feel overwhelmed. It was like John had put a dent in my energy reserves and left him to work.
That’s when I realized that John didn’t just need help. He was overly needy. His constant demands for attention were draining my energy.
Being there for your friends is important, but there has to be a balance. If someone is constantly demanding your emotional support without offering anything in return, they can be draining your energy. It’s important to recognize this behavior and set healthy boundaries when necessary.
3) They’re Chronic Complainers
We all know someone who seems to have a constant cloud of complaints hanging over their head. No matter the situation, they always find something to complain about.
Complaining may seem like a harmless coping mechanism, but it’s more damaging than you might think. According to research from Stanford University, listening to someone else complain for 30 minutes or more can physically damage your brain. It can impair cognitive function and kill neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for problem-solving and intelligent thinking.
Are you constantly being subjected to someone’s complaints? If so, you’re not just emotionally drained — you’re also damaging your brain health. Recognizing this behavior is crucial to your well-being, and distancing yourself from them may be a wise choice.
4) They don’t feel the same way
Relationships, whether they’re friendships, romantic partnerships, or family ties, are built on a foundation of give and take. They’re about reciprocity and mutual respect.
But what happens when you find yourself always being the giver? You’re always the listener, the problem solver, the shoulder to cry on, but when you need support, they’re nowhere to be found.
This lack of reciprocity is a telltale sign of a draining person. They take your time, energy, and resources without ever giving back. This leaves you feeling exploited and emotionally drained.
If you notice a pattern of bias in your relationship with someone, it may be time to reevaluate. Healthy relationships are a two-way street. Don’t allow yourself to be drained by someone who doesn’t understand that.
5) They Always Play the Victim
I once knew someone very good at playing the victim. No matter what the situation was, he always ended up being the wronged one, the hurt one, the innocent party. What I initially thought was just a series of bad luck turned into a pattern.
This person never took responsibility for their actions or how they contributed to the situation. Instead, they reveled in being a self-proclaimed victim, often using it as an excuse for their behavior or to gain sympathy.
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The constant victim mentality was exhausting. I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to upset them or add to their long list of perceived wrongs. Eventually, I had to step back and get away from their exhausting energy.
When someone constantly plays the victim, it could be a sign that they’re draining your energy.
6) They’re Overly Critical
Constructive criticism can be a powerful tool for growth. But there’s a fine line between helpful feedback and constant, relentless criticism.
If someone is constantly pointing out your flaws, highlighting your mistakes, or belittling your accomplishments, they’re likely draining your energy. This type of behavior can erode your self-esteem and leave you feeling inadequate and drained.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you, not tear you down.
7) They’re Emotionally Unavailable
Emotionally unavailable people are often the most draining. They keep their emotions bottled up, making it impossible to form a deep, meaningful relationship with them.
At the same time, they may demand your emotional openness and support, creating a one-sided dynamic that leaves you feeling empty and exhausted.
In any relationship, emotional availability should be a two-way street. If someone is constantly shutting down or avoiding expressing their feelings while expecting you to be an open book, this is a clear sign that they are draining your energy.
Final Thoughts
The complexities of human behavior and our emotional responses are often tied to the energy we receive from those around us.
We are all connected in this energy web. Our emotions, moods, and even our health can be affected by the energy we absorb from others.
If you constantly feel drained after being around someone, it’s not just a passing feeling. It’s a signal from your instinctual self, urging you to protect your energy.
It’s not always about labeling people as “good” or “bad.” It’s about recognizing what serves you and what doesn’t. What lifts you and what drains you?
It’s about understanding that it’s okay to put your emotional health first. It’s okay to walk away from draining people. It’s okay to say no.
So as you move through life, keep this in mind: Your energy is precious, and you have every right to protect it.
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