The moment you decide to stand up to a manipulator is a powerful one.
It’s a turning point, a declaration of independence, and a refusal to be their puppet any longer.
But be prepared because this act of defiance will not go unnoticed.
Manipulators are masters at controlling things, and they have a whole arsenal of tricks up their sleeves to try to regain their power over you.
And their most common weapon? Text messages. I bet it’s not your first guess, but these hypothetical attacks still come with a sting to them.
You’ll want to brace yourself if you come across any of these weaponized text messages.
So, without further ado, let’s decode 8 of the most common text messages a manipulator might send you when you dare challenge them:
1) “Wow, I never thought you’d say that to me. I’ve always been there for you, and this is how you respond to me. I’m so hurt.” (AKA guilt-tripping.)
This text is designed to make you feel like the bad guy.
The manipulator essentially twists the narrative, portraying himself as the victim of your “cruelty.”
In addition to making you look like the bad guy, he also exploits your empathy and sense of responsibility, hoping you’ll back down and apologize.
Imagine you’ve decided to end a toxic friendship. Your manipulative friend might text you something like, “I can’t believe you’re abandoning me like that. After everything we’ve been through, I thought we were closer than this. You broke me.”
But before you start feeling sorry, try not to fall into the guilt trap.
Remind yourself of the reasons you ended the relationship in the first place and stick to your decision.
If you think a response is necessary, try to maintain your emotional composure and say something like, “I understand that you’re hurt, but I need to prioritize my well-being. This isn’t about you, it’s about what’s best for me.”
2) “Okay, 👍🙂” (or passive-aggressive emoji).
This sounds innocent, but emojis hide a more sinister tone…
Because even between the happy thumbs up and the smiley face, the manipulator is hiding hidden anger and resentment. They’re trying to appear indifferent while secretly being angry.
You might tell your manipulative partner that you’re uncomfortable with him hanging out with his ex. He responds with an emoji of a raised thumbs up followed by a smiley face.
He’ll likely end up swatting your arm and doing what he wants, regardless of your response.
Either way, don’t let his passive-aggressive behavior deter you. If you feel the need to respond, keep it short, matter-of-fact, and calm. Maybe even a polite, “Thanks for understanding!”
3) “You’re overreacting. I never said or did that. You’re always twisting my words.” (Also known as emotional manipulation.)
Emotional manipulation is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator makes you question your sanity and memory.
They deny reality, making you question your perception of events.
In this type of situation, you might confront your manipulative partner about a hurtful comment they made.
They might respond by saying, “You’re being too sensitive. I never said that! You’re always misinterpreting things and causing drama for no reason.”
If they start to play it safe, trust your instincts and stand up for yourself.
Don’t let them rewrite history to their advantage.
Reaffirm that you’re aware of what happened, and you won’t allow yourself to be seen as a fool: “I know what you heard, and it hurt. Don’t try to manipulate me.”
4) “Baby, I miss you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Let’s forget this stupid argument and get back to being happy.” (Also known as love bombing.)
Love bombing is a tactic in which a manipulator showers you with affection and attention in an attempt to gain (or regain) your trust and affection.
It’s a way to distract you from their bad behavior, make you feel guilty for being upset, and make you eat out of their hand.
So throw caution to the wind if your manipulative partner suddenly becomes overly emotional after a heated argument.
If you leave things on fire and they suddenly send you text messages full of compliments and declarations of love, they may be doing so with ulterior motives.
RELATED:8 signs a man doesn’t genuinely value you, even if he says otherwise
Don’t let their sudden change of heart fool you.
Remember the pain they’ve caused you (though avoid holding onto memories of pain so much that you never let go), and don’t let yourself get swept up in their temporary charm offensive.
5) “If you don’t stop this bullshit, you’re going to regret it. I know things about you that could ruin your life.” (Or threats.)
Things aren’t going their way, so it’s time to pull out the heavy weapons and start threatening things that sound ominous.
Be wary of any text that sounds like a blatant attempt to intimidate and control you.
You’ve probably angered the manipulator to the point where he has to resort to threats to get you to comply with his wishes.
Maybe you finally back down and tell them you won’t cover up for their betrayal anymore, or that you won’t lend them any more money.
Instead of a measured calm, they suddenly threaten to end your life and the lives of your family.
It’s best to sleep with one eye open!
But before you let their threats scare you, take a moment to step back and take a deep breath.
Stand your ground and remind yourself that you have the right to set boundaries.
If the threats worry you, consider seeking support from loved ones or professionals.
6) “I’m having a really tough time right now. I’m having a bad hair day, I spilled my coffee, and my parents are cutting me off from drinks. Can’t you be more understanding?” (or a pity party).
Now, if someone just lost their job and has a sick dog, you should be a little nicer than usual.
But the great thing about manipulators is that these things often don’t happen.
And if they’re honest about their “why” (as mentioned above), they probably weren’t so pathetic in the first place.
They’re often adept at fabricating Oscar-worthy sad stories.
They give you puppy dog looks and tears, and they think they can make you feel guilty for giving them what they want by playing the victim.
They want you to feel sorry for them and forget about your own needs.
You might receive this text after your manipulative friend cancels plans at the last minute, citing a long list of problems.
Instead of feeling wronged for ignoring them an hour before they were supposed to meet, they make you feel selfish. Just because you wanted to spend time with them.
Be supportive if you can, but don’t let them make you feel guilty for neglecting your own needs. You might say, “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but I have plans too. Maybe we can reschedule for another day.”
7) Don’t text at all
If you’ve experienced complete silence from a manipulator, consider whether they’ve chosen the silent treatment.
Blocking yourself from communicating with someone and keeping quiet is a passive-aggressive way to punish you for not complying with their wishes.
It’s designed to make you feel anxious, guilty, and desperate for their attention.
So, if you try to express a different opinion than your manipulative partner, and they suddenly stop responding to your texts and calls, they may choose to punish you with silence.
They won’t tell you that they’re unhappy with how you’ve acted or what you’ve done, but they will leave you wondering what you did wrong.
As uncomfortable as it may feel, try not to let their silence control you. Focus on yourself and your well-being. If they want to talk, they’ll reach out to you when they’re ready.
8) “This is all your fault. If you hadn’t said/done X, Y, and Z, none of this would have happened.” (Or blaming you.)
It’s rare for a manipulative person to accept responsibility and accountability for their actions.
Instead, they’ll prefer to blame you for their mistakes and shortcomings, which distracts them from any responsibility.
This bias also extends to text messages, where their excuses and justifications will be even more dramatic.
Let’s say, for example, that your manipulative partner cheats on you. Instead of apologizing, they blame you for not giving them enough attention.
(Having been in this exact situation, I’d advise against accepting blame from them.)
Remember, their actions are their responsibility, and no amount of guilt or evasion of blame can make you the guilty party for someone else’s mistakes.
So what now?
Standing up to the manipulator and setting boundaries is a giant leap toward personal empowerment. But as you’ve seen, it’s not always easy.
Expect some turmoil, some emotional rollercoasters, and a lot of manipulative text messages designed to lure you back into their web.
The good news? You’re seeing through their tricks. You’re seeing through their subtle insults, guilt trips, and passive-aggressive emojis. You’re not falling for their deception, love bombing, or pity parties. You stand tall, and you refuse to be a pawn in their game.
So when those manipulative texts start rolling in, take a deep breath and remember:
- You are not crazy. Their words are designed to make you doubt yourself but trust your instincts.
- You are not responsible for their happiness. You have the right to put your own needs first.
- You are not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.
Standing up for yourself is never easy, but it is always worth it.
So never let those manipulative texts ruin your mood or your day.
Keep shining your light, and remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and healthy relationships.
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